The road less traveled

     I used to think about the “What Ifs”.  What if I didn't go to college?  What if I had had 2 boys instead of 2 girls etc.   I usually imagined

different scenario and would think of how things would be a different or the stay the same as they were in reality.  But when I think of what my life would have been had I never bowed onto that mat in July 1959 I cannot see anything at all.   I was only 8 years old and life in 1959 was nothing like it is today.  A young girl of 8 years old had very few choices to make every day.   Yet when I heard of Judo I knew I was stepping into my world.  It was as if I’d done it before and knew about the etiquette and the history without ever being told.   Who knows?  Maybe I did.  I can say that my life began that summer and the world wasn’t ready for me!  But it never occurred to me to do anything else.

I spent the next 64 years of my life studying the wonderful mystical world of the Martial Arts.  There have been moments in my life that I thought my walk down the road was ending when I was advised to stop training due to health problems and surgeries but that was not in the program.  It was the training that brought me back to my feet every time.  There were times in my family life that I was realized that my kids needed more of me so I took them with me.  My girls were classic dojo rats that felt at home in the training hall.  My husband was more than a karate dad he was the glue and support system in our lives.   It worked for us because we all knew there was no other path for me so we adapted and saved and traveled to tournaments as a family whenever we could.  We had lots of movie nights and spaghetti dinners with teachers and students and colleagues.  It was a great way to raise a family.   We stayed tight throughout the years and raised 2 wonderful well rounded ladies.

    We became tournament competitors and traveled the East Coast competing and doing pretty well.  All the trophies and awards were precious to the students and the parents.  I believed that tournaments provided life lessons that helped them in everyday life.  How to be a winner.  How to lose.  How to not lose again. How to accept the unfairness of amateur judges or even worse unfair judges.  How to handle losing when you know you really won.  Life isn’t fair either.  How to stand in front of 1000 people and do the best form of your life.  How to fight when your heart isn’t in it.  How to go deep within and pull up the energy and mindset to win the fight or go for Grand Champion.  Yeah, Life 101 on a gym floor.  No book report or speaking engagement will ever cause them stress after that.

     As I grew into an adult I started to look deeper into the eyes of some of the teachers I knew.  I started to recognize a certain light or flicker in some of their expressions and their energy was different than the other Sensei and Sifu that I knew and loved.   Somehow I knew there was more to learn about this training and it was deeper and more profound than I had experienced so far.  These teachers had deeper wisdom and I learned to recognize it in them.So I started seeking the next level.   I did find some of it.  It has to do with energy, frequency, healing and meditation.  I learned about intuition, reading an opponent’s energy and developing a strategy from that information.  It was fascinating and I only wanted more.  

     Since then I have delved into Reiki and Qigong healing and the majestic flow of Taiji.   I have changed in so many ways since my Qigong training began way back in 1990.  I see that it is definitely time to integrate Qigong into the basic Karate, JuJitsu, Aikido and Judo training.  There is a place for it and the students are ready for it.  So that is where I am now.  My gi’s are in a tub in a closet.  My trophies are gone and most of the awards are in a box.  I teach on Zoom and do occasional workshops in person.  At 73 I care about healing the spirit and bringing peace through energy work and Qigong.  This is where I will be until I see that certain flicker in the eyes of a teacher i “just happened” to meet.  Then I will bow deeply and say “One Gaishi Masu”.