Waiting at the bsl like i’ve done many times before, I keep to myself. This time, as I am waiting a man comes up to me and starts to talk to me. I was very nervous and wanted to keep the conversation as short as possible. He asked a lot of questions and he told me things about himself that I didn’t need to know. He proceeded to ask me out although I was barely talking to him. Then he started planning out our next date even though I didn’t say anything to his question. Then he said “You know i’ve always wanted to date an Asian, you are Asian right?”. And I responded “i'm Chinese” and then he said “so your not Asian?”. This really threw me off. I immediately went “so China is in Asia”.
Surprisingly I haven't experienced this kind of interaction before. I’ve gotten catcalled and been asked for my number or instagram, but never before had I been stuck on the train talking to them for 20 minutes. It was really uncomfortable the whole time, and I was definitely not prepared for this kind of situation. It’s very hard to avoid conversations with someone who keeps asking questions. There is a certain level of unrealness and dissociation that happened, where it was lots of me just waiting to get off.
And then there is the thing about “always wanting to date an Asian”. That was insane to me. I was shocked that he hadn't known China was in Asia. And also the fact that he had said that, makes me think that he fetishizes it. Which is something that i've heard of before online and over social media, but it had never happened to me in real life. It’s worse when it comes to anime fans who always kind of hope that you are Japanese so they can fantasize about a character.
I think this experience made me realize that there is a huge difference between asking for an instagram, catcalling, and this whole conversational thing. I definitely prefer asking for an instagram over the other options. But even catcalling, which also should not happen, is better than the whole conversation and interaction.