The G.L.O.A.T.
The Greatest Lesson of All Time
Written by YK
4/14/11
This is the story about a historic event in the world of math and there could never be another to compare,(any other event of your witnessing being similar is purely coincidental), so if you don’t like math I suggests a different story.
Today was January 28th. It started like any normal school day in room A202. After specials, (which was about 11:30 am), we came back into the classroom to work on math. There was no math TAG this morning so they were in the room working on stuff (who knows what ) that the TAG teacher had asigned. Mr. Jeffrey began to talk about geometric terms and acute triangles to us unsuspecting students. Little did we know that this moment in room A202 would be known to these students and these students alone (as in just Mr. Jeffrey’s class) as… (pause for dramatic affect) “The Greatest Lesson Of All Time” or simply the G.L.O.A.T.
“Who knows what this triangle is called?” asked Mr. Jeffrey, drawing an equilateral triangle on the board. A few hands rose into the air. “An acute triangle?” someone asked. Mr. Jeffrey paused (with a fraction of a grin) “No, there can’t be any triangle with all acute angles.” Aurelia raised her hand. “What if all angles were 60 degrees?” There was a moment’s pause while Mr. Jeffrey thought. There was also a few “that makes sense” and “yeah Mr. Jeffrey, it’s in the book.” “All righty then,” Mr. Jeffrey said. “How about this! How would you draw an acute triangle?” he retorted as if he had said something to defend himself. Aurelia raised her hand once again. “Can I draw an acute triangle on the board?” she asked. Mr. Jeffrey shook his head. “No ‘cause it would take you forever and a day,” he explained. “Mr. Jeffrey!” someone shouted out, (which by the way happens to be Mr. Jeffrey’s greatest pet peeve). “It says right here ‘acute triangle’ and it has a picture and definition!” All the students looked down and noticed the ‘acute triangle’ that the student had pointed out.“What?” Mr. Jeffrey said. “This is an outrage!” he proclaimed. Mr. Jeffrey began pacing around the room with his golf club saying “Nobody talk I’m thinking!” finally after a few minutes of pacing around the room (which explained why he would want to do this next action) he announced, “Give me that math book!” as he crawled under his desk. Anthony headed towards the stack of 6th grade math books. “No, no, no,” Mr. Jeffrey corrected, “the 5th grade math book.” Someone quickly handed over their math book. “Ughhh!” Mr. Jeffrey moaned. “Where are my powdered doughnuts? Someone bring me my powdered doughnuts!” Zach rushed over to hand the bag of powdered doughnuts (Hostess’s Donettes – powdered to be exact) to our “distressed” teacher.
After around 10 minutes, Mr. Jeffrey crawled back from under his desk ready to face the class of giggling students. “I was just making sure you were paying attention,” he said confidently and plainly.
Many months later Mr. Jeffrey was interviewed on this subject. The following questions were asked (under government protection. Kind of, Sort of, not really, No).
Q: What were you thinking as your students proved you wrong?
Mr. Jeffrey replied, “ I thought it was going exactly as I planned.”
Q: Why did you make up the story about you planning this event instead of just admitting you were wrong?
Mr. Jeffrey responded by explaining, “I masterminded the ‘Greatest Lesson Of All Time’ in the summer of 2010 in my basement. It was my masterpiece.”
Q: Will there be another lesson of all time in the future?
Mr. Jeffrey (with great pleasure) announces “No, that is why you are documenting this.”