Shayla Butler

Could you please share when you first learned that you were expecting a child? Where were you and where did you find out this news? Who did you tell?

So I relocated from Seattle to Austin, Texas. And two weeks after relocating, I found out I was pregnant. I was by myself, I had no support. And the first person I told was my twin sister. Ultimately, she wanted me to come home, but I had just got there and moved in a place, couldn't leave. What was ran through my mind was, how am I going to do this? What is this going to be like being all alone, having a baby? I was terrified. Being 1,600 miles away, you don't get the same support as someone that you can go to them face to face. So dealing with that, it was hard. It was really hard. FaceTime is great, but for some things, it does not work.

Did you receive any support from your community or any healthcare providers?

I did start to attend a place that gave me a lot of support. It gave me a network of moms because it was like a pregnancy resource center that allowed me to ask questions to other parents, to healthcare providers, to get counseling when I was going down to help me even prepare financially for my child. It gave me all of that. So ultimately, I found my support within my community. But I had no idea it was there because I was brand new.

Did you breastfeed? And how did that experience impact your relationship with your baby and your family?

I breastfed from day one. My daughter had jaundice, so I was instantly pushed to give my baby formula because a part of jaundice to get rid of it, they want your baby to poop. They instantly made me feel like I was not enough. I could not do it on my own. So it was hard in that sense. And then my family, when they did come around, they weren't happy that I was breastfeeding because they weren't able to share that special moment with my baby. They couldn't take my breast, so that was hard for them as well. So they weren't supportive at all. At all. Zero support. 

It took a long time to find an actual healthcare provider, a pediatrician for my daughter that was Team Breastfeed, because they had me doing weight checks every three days. Everything felt like it was coming to me, like, you shouldn't be breastfeeding, you shouldn't be breastfeeding, you shouldn't be breastfeeding. When that's all I wanted to do. Because this was my only bond. I was not in the same city as my family. So this is my network right here. And it seemed like everyone all around was pushing me away until I found that one that was team breastfeed.

Even my daughter got a diaper rash ''put breast milk on it". She went that far like she was team breastfeed compared to all the other doctors. "Medicine. Medicine. Formula. Formula." So it's a lot.

Do you have any advice for other black families?

If you don't have the support within your family, there's always support outside of your family. From Facebook breastfeeding groups to mommy groups, they do everything online now. It's okay to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask questions because you'll get your answer from someone that you least expect it. That's how I made it through.