Hi Everyone!

It's easy to fall into a slump, especially during crazy times like we are going through right now. It's important to be aware of these feelings, and try to change that mindset. Here are some tips on positive thinking.

1. Ugh, but... Sometimes things happen (ugh!), try to look at the up-side (but at least_____).

2. Talk back to negative thoughts... Tell your negative thoughts why they're wrong! (I may be having trouble with this assignment, but you are WRONG negative thought, I am good at math!).

3. Throw out those thoughts... Write down your negative thought, crumple it up, and toss it in the trash.

4. 3 positive thoughts... When negative thoughts try to take over, think about three happy things.

5. Someone else's eyes... If you have a negative thought about yourself, think of someone who cares about you. What would they say if they heard you talking to yourself that way? Chances are they wouldn't agree...

This week I would like to go more in depth on limit setting with your child in order to work through behavior issues. The number one thing to remember when using limit setting with your child is to remain calm. I like to refer to it as "being a robot". Don't show your emotions! If you are angry or upset, your child will feed off of this (either by also remaining in an elevated state, or by enjoying pushing your buttons). To remain calm, you may need to take a few deep breaths, step away for a minute to compose yourself, and/or remind yourself that this is what it will take for BOTH of you to "win".

Limit setting is important for all children, whether you have major behaviors or not. It helps provide structure as well as creates physical and emotional safety. Children need to learn what responsibility feels like and this occurs through making choices. Limits are ABSOLUTE and consistency is key. If you waiver once, your child will expect that he can get you to waiver again another time.

Script for Setting Limits

Acknowledge the feeling:

“I know you are frustrated”

Communicate the limit:

“But you have classwork to do”

Target TWO alternatives:

“So you can choose to do your math now, or you can choose to take a two minute break and then do your math. Which do you choose?”

If they do not answer, you may repeat this script calmly another time or two. Don’t ask questions you know the answer to, and don’t ask questions that are not really choices.

If you have tried this and it does not work, please feel free to email me at jhall@rcsdk8.org if you would like to discuss the behaviors you are having with your child.

If it hasn’t happened yet, don’t be surprised if it does soon. Your student may eventually (if he or she hasn’t already) hit a point of frustration or shut down. In fact, you’ve probably been dealing with it on and off over the years so you may already know what works for you and your child. However, frustration with school may be different than what you’ve dealt with before. Here are some tips and suggestions that may help you both work through those periods of frustration and/or shut downs.

First and foremost, take a deep breath! It’s ok if this is hard for YOU, too. We all have our moments when we can’t remain calm as our child flips his or her lid. However, if you are upset, your child won’t be able to calm down either. So follow these tips (and remember self-care during the good times too) to help yourself be in a calm place in order to help your child.

Tips:

• Take slow, deep breaths

• Count to 10

• Use a calm and neutral tone

• Provide clear and concise directions

• Give choices

• Use reflective listening ("I understand you're frustrated", "you really don't like working on math")

• Take a break (set a timer for 5 minutes, then try again)

• Break down directions or assignment

• Use a stress ball or fidget

• Work on coping skills (I will be doing videos with coping skills tips)

• Work on relaxation techniques (tune in to my mindfulness videos to practice relaxation)

Resources:

Cool Down and Work Through Anger by Cheri J. Meiners

I did a recorded reading of this earlier this week that will be available on Otus soon, see my video if you think this may help you and your child.

https://www.pbisworld.com/tier-1/interventions-by-behavior/frustration/

Hi everyone!

I’m Mrs. Hall, your school counselor. I’m here to help Kaseberg with any social, emotional, academic, or behavior needs that may come up.

When we are on campus I do more individual and small group counseling. During distance learning, a large amount of my focus will be on providing resources and making connections with all of you.

My goal is to do weekly, whole-school video lessons as well as upload art activities for any of you who are interested. This is completely voluntary for any Kaseberg student and never graded.

These last few months have been extremely unpredictable. The nature of my job is to be flexible and adaptable in order to meet the needs of my students. I will keep you all updated as new ideas come up regarding how I can support the social, emotional, and academic growth of our Kaseberg student body.

Please feel free to reach out via email (jhall@rcsdk8.org) if you have any questions or concerns. Happy new school year!

Jennifer Hall, Counselor, Kaseberg Elementary

Emotional health is an important part of our overall health and relationships. People who are emotionally healthy are more in control of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and are more capable of coping during difficult and stressful times. Being emotionally healthy doesn't mean you never experience difficult feelings like anger, sadness, or frustration. It means you are aware of those feelings and how you can manage them when they come up. Having the tools to manage those difficult feelings can help you overcome them more quickly; resulting in less life stress as well as fewer negative consequences physically or socially (ex: less tension headaches, upset stomachs, or strained relationships).

Here are some ways to help boost your emotional health:

Self-Care: Stick to a sleep routine, eat healthy foods, exercise regularly, connect with friends and loved ones, do something you love that makes you happy (art, reading, play).

Manage Stress: Learn relaxation techniques such as mediation, mindfulness, or exercise. I will be providing weekly mindfulness lessons for anyone who is interested (more information to come on how to access these lessons).

Express Appropriately: Stop and think for a minute before reacting, take a few deep breaths, talk to a friend or adult, use a script such as “when _____ happens, I feel ____, please ______”.

Resources for more information:

https://covid19.ca.gov/resources-for-emotional-support-and-well-being/

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html

https://www.calm.com/

There are a ton of awesome apps available that help with mindfulness. Check out your app store for the one that fits you best (I have used Calm in the past, it should be free).

Working and learning from home is hard! Here are some ways to help your child be successful. Many of these tips are embedded in our PBIS Distance Learning Expectations.

Distance Learning Study Tips:

• Create and follow a daily schedule (your teacher probably did this for you already)

• Find a distraction free space if possible

• Have all supplies ready and available (computer charged, pencil sharpened, paper for taking notes)

• Take short breaks periodically (get up and walk around, play outside, or do something fun)

• Take note of anything you’ll need help with once an adult is available (ex: Sticky note? Highlight? Separate “help” page with questions?)

• Eat healthy snacks when hungry

Is Your Child Unmotivated? Your student may:

• Seem lackluster, sluggish, emotionally flat

• Just sit in his or her seat doing nothing when there is work to do

• Express no concern about incomplete work, grades, achievement

• Only work when you are hovering over them

Interventions you can try at home:

• Break down assignments (start with only a few of the questions or parts of an assignment, then take a quick break before moving on to the next part)

• Break down instructions (sometimes a long list of instructions can be overwhelming, make sure each step is clarified before moving on to the next)

• Listen to music if it helps to focus

• Sit or stand near your child while they work, if possible

• Give choices during free time (“you can work on your reading, or you can work on your math”)

• Praise good attitude

• Praise when on task

• Use a timer (“let’s see if you can get this question done before this 5 minute timer goes off” or “work for 15 more minutes and then you can play outside”).

• Frequent breaks (breaks should be short, just long enough for a brain break)

• Star Chart or other form of incentive (email me at jhall@rcsdk8.org if you would like help setting up an incentive program for your child)

• Assign a virtual buddy -students can read to each other through zoom

• Pretend play -Student can be a "teacher" and read to stuffed animals or review what she/he learned in class that day

Please email me at jhall@rcsdk8.org if you would like any additional support or clarification.

Resources:

PBIS world