Social-Emotional Skills

Managing challenging feelings is one of the most important skills preschoolers are learning. Here are some techniques we use in our class.  It is important to talk about and practice them when children are calm so that it's easier to know what to use when difficult feelings make it harder to think about what to do!  


Tucker the Turtle

Here is the story of Tucker the Turtle: https://challengingbehavior.org/docs/TuckerTurtle_Story.pdf , which is used by many teachers and families.  We practice noticing we’re angry, emphasizing physical signs like tight hands or face, telling ourselves to stop, and going into our “shells” (curling up or going in our shirts) to take 3 deep breaths and then coming out to think of solutions.  Here is a song about Tucker (first page), which can be seen here in action here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-ltkapsrNM . 

We learn these songs as part of lessons on specific social skills.  When we talk about joining play, we teach children to talk to each other about their play and share ideas first to show that they'll be fun to play with.  Generally, just asking, "Can I play with you?" actually makes it more likely that the answer will be no.  

Second Step Social-Emotional Learning Songs

"Joinging Play"

 (Tune of 'London Bridge')

If you see some friends at play, 

Friends at play, friends at play

And you want to join their play,

What can you do?

Watch their play and give ideas, 

Give ideas, give ideas,

Then you ask to join their play

In a friendly way. 

"Fair Ways to Play" 

(Tune of 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star)

Play together, trade, take turns--

These are 3 fair ways to play.

Play together with the toys.

Trading toys is when we switch.

Taking turns--you use it first

Then I get to use it next.

Play together, trade, take turns--

These are 3 fair ways to play.


Problem-Solving

We sing “When You Have a Problem”  and walk through the steps of problem-solving.  Calming down and naming the problem, including how it makes us feel, is an important first step.  It can be hard to name the problem!  For example, if two kids are fighting over a bike, the problem is not that they are not sharing (although some kinds of sharing might be a solution); the problem is that they both want the bike and there’s only one bike.  We also use solutions cue cards to help children think of solutions, which can be found on this page of resources: http://csefel.vanderbilt.edu/resources/strategies.html. 

Opportunities for Practice

We practice noticing how characters in books and our peers are feeling and why (many teachers and adults skip this important second part).  Adults can frame things throughout the day by noticing and naming problems and solutions as they come up.  If you want to have extra fun, you can pretend to get upset and walk yourself through the steps.  Your child might surprise you with their supportive comments!  

Conscious Discipline

Conscious Discipline is one of my favorite frameworks for teaching children social-emotional skills.  Check out their free online resources, including the emotions poster, breathing techniques, and  breathing star folder we use in our classroom.