General Jokes

Some of our jokes are a little *cough* different and can be viewed by pressing here. You have been warned !

Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate .

Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry .

Why do the French like to eat snails so much?They can’t stand fast food.

Husband: “Oh the weather is lovely today. Shall we go out for a quick jog?“Wife: “Hahaha, I love the way you pronounce ‘Shall we go out and have a cake’!”

A guest calls the waiter and complains, “How come there are no chairs at our table?!”The waiter shrugs, “I’m sorry but you only booked one table…”

Optimist: The glass is half full.Pessimist: The glass is half empty.Mother: Why didn’t you use a coaster!

Tonight I dreamt of a beautiful walk on a sandy beach.At least that explains the footprints I found in the cat litter box this morning.

What do you get when you cross-breed a shark and a cow? I have no idea but I wouldn’t try milking it.

"I wasn't that drunk yesterday." "Oh boy you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."

How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?It’s when the blind try to read your face.