Final Journal Entry
Rebecca Troop
For my Senior Project, I crafted a digital music video with an original song behind it using VOCALOID. I worked on each component of the video separately and brought them all together to create my final product.
While working on this project, I learned that I, as an artist, have a hard time believing in myself, as well as set high, strict expectations for my work that someone of my current skill set could never truly achieve realistically. However, after it was completed, I grew as a learner and as a person by learning that making mistakes isn’t a basis to hate the work as a whole. I struggled with the video portion of the project, but overcame it through perseverance and my own personal vision of what I wanted it to be by the end, and was able to successfully complete it. I’ve grown by gaining the ability to forgive myself for not being a professional after a single attempt.
Some high points of my process were in the creation of the instrumental. It was immensely fun, and I was able to turn something that I had no goal for into something that gave me chills the first time I listened to it fully for the first time. Some low points, however, were definitely in the final days of working on it, as I struggled to find the motivation to bring something that I wasn’t fully proud of to completion and show it to an audience nonetheless. Another struggle I had was with trying to learn Blender, a program which I was originally going to use to make the video 3D, but never could master in time to incorporate. I handled myself well during these moments, never once stopping my work because of my self-esteem, but handled myself poorly when it came to time management and not working consistently when I could have been earlier on in the project.
My relationship with my mentor was very supportive, though I didn’t ask for much help through the process. We spent a lot of time together in Toronto over Christmas break and discussed what my project would look like, and she helped me think about what I wanted it to be and get the project started. If I had needed assistance at all through the whole project, she would be there to help me. Taking footage together when we were out was also very helpful. Of course, my family and loved ones were a huge help with supporting me through the process.
In writing the paper, I learned that my writing as a whole tends to flow better when I am interested in what I’m writing about. The revision process was quite tedious to me, and I found it hard to manage input from several different people at once, but I learned a lot about how to correctly cite and list sources. Since I had known pretty much all of what I was writing about just from what I’ve picked up about it over the years, going back and finding that information written down was difficult, but a very useful skill to have learned. I also learned a lot more about the history of some of the VOCALOID voices I was writing about.
Overall, my experience with the whole of Senior Project was mixed in a lot of ways. From the beginning up until the end, I had an easier time with what I knew, and a harder time stepping outside of my comfort zone, but I’m glad that I was able to and I’m proud of my accomplishments. If I could go back to the beginning of Senior Project, I would tell myself to take it easy, as there really were people out there to help me, and at the same time to be ready to feel afraid, angry, and unsure, as there will be low moments. If I could start over, I would probably set lower goals for myself and really focus on my new learning on a smaller scale. If I had more time, I would definitely have loved to add more animations and even some 3D elements if I was able to. I’m glad I was able to complete this project.