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Strategies take from "What to Do When You Worry Too Much"
Strategies take from "What to Do When You Worry Too Much"
By Dawn Huebner, PhD.
Most things grow when you tend to/take care of them. When you plant something, like a small tomato seed, and you give it soil, water and sunlight, it will grow. If you give it more water each day, pretty soon a stalk with a tomato will appear!
Most things grow when you tend to/take care of them. When you plant something, like a small tomato seed, and you give it soil, water and sunlight, it will grow. If you give it more water each day, pretty soon a stalk with a tomato will appear!
If you keep tending to your plant, more and more tomatoes will appear. Soon you will have so many tomatoes you won't know what to do with them all!
If you keep tending to your plant, more and more tomatoes will appear. Soon you will have so many tomatoes you won't know what to do with them all!
Worries are just like tomatoes - the more you tend to or pay attention to them, the more they will grow!
Worries are just like tomatoes - the more you tend to or pay attention to them, the more they will grow!
What is a worry? We have different names for it. Some people call worries anxiety, and people who worry a lot are said to be nervous or anxious. What ever you call it, a worry is a thought that upsets you and makes you feel bad inside.
What is a worry? We have different names for it. Some people call worries anxiety, and people who worry a lot are said to be nervous or anxious. What ever you call it, a worry is a thought that upsets you and makes you feel bad inside.
A worry can be a specific thought that makes you feel scared - like a "What If." "what if mom forgets to pick me up after school?" (**Remember the triangle that connects thoughts, feelings and behaviors - "What Ifs" are worry thoughts!)
A worry can be a specific thought that makes you feel scared - like a "What If." "what if mom forgets to pick me up after school?" (**Remember the triangle that connects thoughts, feelings and behaviors - "What Ifs" are worry thoughts!)
A worry can also be a more general, fluttery, sick feeling in your stomach, even tho you aren't sure what is upsetting you.
A worry can also be a more general, fluttery, sick feeling in your stomach, even tho you aren't sure what is upsetting you.
Everyone worries sometimes. That is normal. But sometimes worries don't go away, and can get stuck. That when we have to practice using strategies to make them go away.
Everyone worries sometimes. That is normal. But sometimes worries don't go away, and can get stuck. That when we have to practice using strategies to make them go away.
Worries can often make your body feel bad. They can cause a sick feeling inside of you that might make you think you are actually sick, like a stomachache or a headache. You may not even realize that these feelings are being caused by worries!
Worries can often make your body feel bad. They can cause a sick feeling inside of you that might make you think you are actually sick, like a stomachache or a headache. You may not even realize that these feelings are being caused by worries!
Where in your body do you feel you worries?
Where in your body do you feel you worries?
So HOW do we make worries go away???
So HOW do we make worries go away???
STRATEGY #1: Use Your Logic
STRATEGY #1: Use Your Logic
First put your worry into words to identify what you are worried about. Then, use LOGIC to make the worry less powerful.
First put your worry into words to identify what you are worried about. Then, use LOGIC to make the worry less powerful.
Logic is when you think about what is really true, instead of what you're afraid might happen. Logic is reminding yourself that really bad things don't happen very often. Logic is knowing that even if something that;s a little bit bad does happen, you can get through it.
Logic is when you think about what is really true, instead of what you're afraid might happen. Logic is reminding yourself that really bad things don't happen very often. Logic is knowing that even if something that;s a little bit bad does happen, you can get through it.
When you use your logic, you can make a plan that helps you feel calmer and less worried. Ask yourself:
When you use your logic, you can make a plan that helps you feel calmer and less worried. Ask yourself:
- What are the chances of that this worry will come true? (Is it something that only has a super small change of happening?)
- If it does actually happen, would it be the worst thing in the world?
- What can I do to lessen the chance that it could happen? Are there more details/facts I can get about the situation?
STRATEGY #2: Spend Less Time on your Worries
STRATEGY #2: Spend Less Time on your Worries
Remember how worries can be like tomato plants? When you check on and eater your tomato plant everyday, you are helping it to grow. When you think about worries a lot and talk about them over and over again, you are helping the worries to grow too.
Remember how worries can be like tomato plants? When you check on and eater your tomato plant everyday, you are helping it to grow. When you think about worries a lot and talk about them over and over again, you are helping the worries to grow too.
If you ignore your tomato plant by never giving it water, it will start to wilt and eventually die. The same thing goes for worries. If you don't spend time thinking about them, they will begin to shrivel up and go away!
If you ignore your tomato plant by never giving it water, it will start to wilt and eventually die. The same thing goes for worries. If you don't spend time thinking about them, they will begin to shrivel up and go away!
Try setting up a WORRY TIME - a specific time each day that lasts for about 10-15 minutes. Your mom or dad can sit with you during Worry Time and listen to whatever worries you have.
Try setting up a WORRY TIME - a specific time each day that lasts for about 10-15 minutes. Your mom or dad can sit with you during Worry Time and listen to whatever worries you have.
There is just one rule about Worry Time - if a worry bothers you at any other time during the day, you are not allowed to spend time thinking about it until it is worry time! So if a worry pops into your mind and it is not worry time, imagine a strong box. Put that worry in the box and lock it up! Then get busy doing something else!
There is just one rule about Worry Time - if a worry bothers you at any other time during the day, you are not allowed to spend time thinking about it until it is worry time! So if a worry pops into your mind and it is not worry time, imagine a strong box. Put that worry in the box and lock it up! Then get busy doing something else!
When you learn to put your worries into the Worry Box to save them for Worry Time, something really interesting happens. After a while, you will find that by the time you get to Worry Time, some of the worries will have gone away on their own. You will find that you will have less and less to talk about during Worry Time!
When you learn to put your worries into the Worry Box to save them for Worry Time, something really interesting happens. After a while, you will find that by the time you get to Worry Time, some of the worries will have gone away on their own. You will find that you will have less and less to talk about during Worry Time!
STRATEGY #3: Talking Back to Worries
STRATEGY #3: Talking Back to Worries
Some worries pop up over and over again no matter how many times you put them in the worry box. So, you can learn to talk back to the worry to make it go away. Talking back means standing up for yourself when you don't like what is going on. Talking back to a worry is a good thing, because the worry is just trying to give you a hard time - the worry is being a BULLY!
Some worries pop up over and over again no matter how many times you put them in the worry box. So, you can learn to talk back to the worry to make it go away. Talking back means standing up for yourself when you don't like what is going on. Talking back to a worry is a good thing, because the worry is just trying to give you a hard time - the worry is being a BULLY!
Do you want that bully hanging around? NO! The only problem is that right now, the worry bully is stronger than you. BUT - you can get stronger! You can learn to talk back to it, not give in to it, and eventually get rid of it. Here is what you need to remember:
Do you want that bully hanging around? NO! The only problem is that right now, the worry bully is stronger than you. BUT - you can get stronger! You can learn to talk back to it, not give in to it, and eventually get rid of it. Here is what you need to remember:
- Worry bullies think it's fun to trick you, so they exaggerate and lie. They want you to believe that the most terrible thing will definitely happen.
- So get mad at the worry bully and tell it to "Get Lost!" Let it know that you DON'T believe it" Talking back to the worry makes you more powerful. It makes the worry weaker and you stronger!
- The worry bully might continue to talk to you, because it wants you to pay attention. Pay attention to something else instead! Get busy doing something you enjoy to help distract you.
- Remember it takes practice to get rid of that worry bully - it may come back right away at first - but stick with it and you will come out the winner!
STRATEGY #4: Re-set Your System
STRATEGY #4: Re-set Your System
When a worry has made your body feel bad, you need to work on "re-setting your system." Re-setting your system means ding something to change the way your body feels. There are two ways:
When a worry has made your body feel bad, you need to work on "re-setting your system." Re-setting your system means ding something to change the way your body feels. There are two ways:
- Activity - burn off some of the extra energy that is making your body feel uncomfortable. The best way to do this is to get involved in something active and fun like riding your bike around the block, or seeing how many jumping jacks you can do!
- Relaxation - Calming your body down can help your body feel better. Take several slow, deep breaths in through your nose and out through your mouth. Picture the air going in through your nose, traveling all the way down toward your belly, and then back up and out through your mouth. As you breathe in, feel the calm, cool air filling you body. As you breathe out, feel the tense, hot air leaving your body.
*Change the channel in your brain by choosing a special memory from happy times. Remember as many details as you can about this memory. Draw or write about this memory including all of the details you remember. The more you think about this memory, the happier you will feel!
*Change the channel in your brain by choosing a special memory from happy times. Remember as many details as you can about this memory. Draw or write about this memory including all of the details you remember. The more you think about this memory, the happier you will feel!
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