I Still Miss You
By: L.C.
Today I woke up wishing I would never open my eyes again, I feel that my heaven is turning into hell, I am a zombie, a being without a soul that can still move. I cry out for help but it is as if I cry in the depths of an ocean, no matter how much I scream, no one will hear my pain. I hate having these feelings, these days things have gone from bad to worse. I still miss you, I say to the silence in the middle of so much darkness, there is not a night in which I don’t cry saying your name and regretting you're not here anymore.
I recently met my mother. She decided to come to the US when I was just two months old, my greatest desire was to meet my mother and be happy with her, but fate is so cruel that things did not happen the way I wished.
I was in the care of my grandparents since I was little. I thought that they were my real parents but when I grew up I understood my situation, happy moments of my childhood were recorded in my mind as good memories since I was young I understood that nothing would last forever more I understood that tragic night.
Sunday, June 17, 2012, My family decided to travel to Quito, the capital of Ecuador. I remember that we traveled for the reason for a party, we enjoyed the party very well and at dawn, we decided to return to Cañar, the place where we lived.
Our trip was in a black truck, I thought it was all a nightmare, a bad dream or something like that, but when I opened my eyes wide I looked at my grandmother on the floor bleeding a lot, we had suffered an accident, I had fainted but after 10 minutes I reacted. I felt that my life was the one that was ending, it seemed like a movie in which the main character has to say goodbye to the love of her life because she is never going to see him again. I heard my aunt scream while crying, my grandfather was crying too and I felt that I lost everything, after a few minutes the ambulance arrived and they told us that she is already dead that she could no longer do anything, all of us who were in the car were taken to the hospital none with a strong physical injury but our hearts shattered inside. After that, I had to live with my aunt but nothing was the same anymore, her love for me was no longer like my grandmother until now I have not found someone with the same love and affection as my grandmother. :(
My grandfather had to stay alone because his character was not very good, after the death of my grandmother everything changed, he got drunk uncontrollably, he lost the notion of his senses, he even tried to hurt my aunt.
On November 20, 2016, he tragically died, I miss him a lot too.
It's been a few years since then but I still miss them a lot. I have already become a teenager but things have not improved at all I feel that I am in a confused world that makes no sense, my greatest goal is to be happy and have a good life but my fears are stronger than my life hopes, I promised my grandparents that I will try to strive for my life but I feel that it is very difficult. It was so sad that I fell into a deep depression and I was not even eating well or sleeping well, the only thing I was doing well was crying and complaining about life, I had very bad thoughts of suicide but I am learning little by little, I hope I can achieve my goals with blood sweat and tears for the two people I love the most, even if I am weak I will learn to survive in this hell. When you lose a person you love so much your life is no longer the same, the days become sadder and you feel that your life no longer has much meaning, sometimes you even feel alone.
My Story
By: J. C
My story is very difficult for me my story begins the day when I came to the United States. It was a Saturday. We came a week passed two weeks we were still in my country and I was hungry but the food I do not like the only thing I was thinking about is getting to the United States where my family is and we arrived in Mexico and stayed for about 2 weeks in the same place and we left and came to Monterrey and I was on the bus and I was taken by immigration from Mexico. They asked me if I had who I came with or alone I did not tell them anything and they left me in a house where all the immigrants were and there is a man who had a brush and broke the window. The window is not glass, the window is like cloth and we escaped because I wanted to see my family and I wanted to fulfill my dreams and it didn't give me anything to do anymore and we escaped and went out into the desert and I was thirsty and couldn't take it anymore and many thorns enter my hand in all parts of the body so that is where the immigration from the United States arrived, they took me in a place where they say it was cold because it was very cold and where we were without a bed and now I left my turn to go where they say home father and that is where it is and I did not feel anything there is where they treated me well my story is that .....
Walk on the river
By: Anonymous
In my country there is a date where all the families go out to enjoy in rivers or swimming pools or share with the family, that day my parents and my brothers decided to go. It was all of my mother's family, we left. Everything was going well everything was happiness. My cousins and I were very happy. My parents and uncles were making lunch and my parents would not let me enter the river because I could not swim. I had to wait for them, we had lunch, we rested and then we all went to get into the river in a moment. I slipped and almost drowned like my aunt she was next to me and thanks to her I was able to breathe she submerged her to be able to breathe. My uncles could not believe it. Quickly they took me out of the river the good thing that was not so serious within minutes my head hurt I was very tired I felt bad and my parents scolded me and had said that we would never go out to rivers because the next time I would not tell :(
My life for quarantined changes
By: Anonymous
This started in March 2020 when I started rumors about Covi 19 disease but at first, my family didn't take it seriously, and neither did the city after people started loving because of this disease and creating big problems that I started using. I feel bad for those people because of that, the school closed, jobs and different public places and that was when I started the quarantine at first everything was fine in my family but then they started to get sick to such an extent that we all got sick. to a point where nobody could stop but we tried to take medicines against the flu and the symptoms that we had but my family did not think it was covid 19 after a week of drinking medicinal water, we all healed and began to heal they ran out the money and then they started looking for work Then they found it in a market and well we had to take cleaning measures since they went to work when they returned they had to disinfect themselves, take the tennis out and bathe. A few months later the establishments reopened but with precautionary measures and that was where we decided to do the COVI 19 test and we discovered that we had already had COVI 19 in my family impact but at the same time they were reassured to know that we managed to recover from that disease since many they died. Well, now we are calmer although we are still taking precautionary measures.
Untitled
by: S.F.
Life had already changed enough for me when my family moved from Bangladesh to the United States on November 20, 2018.
I could not have imagined the message that my parents would receive less than a year after our arrival in New York. It was the middle of the night when my parents received an emergency message that they had to go to Bangladesh. So, unwillingly my parents had to take a plane to Bhola and leave us alone here. I was thinking, ‘this can not be happening, how can we be alone in this new country.’ I was feeling so devastated. I kept quiet and held my worry inside.
On March 15, 2020 my parents left the house, took a taxi to the airport. They were on their way to Bangladesh and my sister and I was home alone in a new country. Worry filled my body because I never stayed alone without my mom or dad. The house felt empty. I felt very bad all the time. My sadness did not get better day by day. Who would have thought that the next thing to happen was Covid 19?
Everything became closed because of COVID-19. When my family heard this news, I was speechless for a while and I didn’t understand what I should do or how I should react. On one phone call with my parents, they told me to change their airline ticket as quickly as possible. Of course, I did as they asked, filled with stress. I quickly walked to a travel office in Jackson Heights to get there first, upon opening. I was able to change the ticket but I was not certain that they would be able to come or not. Things in the world were changing every day at this time. Relief. My parents indeed were coming to the United States on the last plane from Bangladesh to New York. We were lucky.
One thing that I learned from this situation is to live without parents is troublesome and lonely. It was very hard for me to be without my mom and dad even for a short time. Then, I thought about how people can live and how they when they don't have parents. I did not only think about them, I also was feeling what they might feel. This experience caused me to pass through many feelings. At this time I just feel peaceful. At that time I felt like nobody was around me. I thought I was alone in my home. I feel gratitude for what I have and appreciate my family more.
Skateboarding
By: Anonymous
This is the story of how skateboarding helps me with my sadness. I feel alone all the time because I feel that I can do more than just feel sorry for myself and also the closing of schools affected me a lot in the sense of homework and learning because I didn't feel like I was learning anything with online classes. But one day I met my stepsister's boyfriend, he had a skateboard so I told him if I could use it. At that time I did not know how to skate, so I was in the park near the neighborhood, surprise, I did not fall, that was crazy, I spent hours in the park, after that I realized that I spent hours entertaining and I did not feel sad. What I loved the most about skateboarding was how challenging it was and it made me feel better about myself.
“Better life”
By: Anonymous
My story is about losing someone you share your life with. My story happened in Nepal and America in 2017. I was young, my mom packed luggage the day before the flight to America, I knew that because my mom and her parents were crying. When I was in the airport my family members were outside waving at us the wave felt warm in my heart. I immigrated to America and my dad was waiting outside of America airport when I saw him the first time I felt nice and joyful because I haven't seen him for a long time it was like finally our family puzzle has been completed. He had a car so we put our luggage in the car and went to our new home that home felt warm and known. I started to notice that I lost contact with many of my school friends and family members from Nepal because of that change in my life. My life in America is much quieter, mature, and calm by getting loved by my parents and seeing them together. I wish I would see and play with my friends and talk with my family members from Nepal.
My Happiest Moment
By: Dina Lagua
My favorite moment is: when I was 5 years old it was my happiest moment because there were many people. I had a lot of fun with my family and I received some gifts that day was very special for me because they made me a medium-large party and I was there dancing the whole night with my godparents my party started as well and at 8 pm people began to arrive and then many people arrived and well we gave food and began to play the birthday games, the only thing I remember is that because I was barely five years old and the memories I have them blurred like that but that day was my happy day because I was with my mother who is an important person in my life and I did not spend with my father because my father lives here in the United States but he sent the money to make me a party and Well, I really appreciate that and that memory will always remain in my head.
UN MUNDO COMPLETAMENTE DIFERENTE
By: S.M.
It all started when my parents told me that they would give me a trip for my birthday, I was surprised we had never talked about traveling, but I was excited by the idea of making him know different places, different people I really loved the idea, but it was only supposed to be A walk, but life had a different plan for us, as we were only coming for a walk, I did not say goodbye to anyone, I told everyone that I would return soon but it was not like that, thanks to the pandemic we had to stay since the airports closed that was terrifying imagine being forced to be in a completely unknown place, over time the money ran out and the situation was not improving, people continued to die so my parents had to work, go out at night, come back during the day like batman, I was not alone my adult cousins stay with me and my sister and whenever we could we did activities such as games and those things were fun times, vacations are over for For everyone, classes started and we couldn't run out of school, this reminded me that I should be at my school with my friends and… I got sad to remember moments and to think a lot.
They put us in a school which I did not like, the teachers were very strict and ill-tempered, it was very boring, but then my parents, my sister and I moved to our own apartment so we had to go to school and the truth is this school is much better it reminds me of my school in Colombia and that made me happy.
I could not say goodbye to anyone and the truth is sometimes I miss my family and friends if only I had said goodbye, but I'm fine, I'm happy I guess life wanted me to be here, right?
And if we look at everything on the bright side, it's like starting my life from scratch and that's incredible. So yes. I'm very happy!
Now that I am in a different country I started to think about what will become of me now, who I am and who I want to be, in Colombia I had a life now everything is completely different, I came to the conclusion that I do not know who I want to be but I do who I am, a girl who will live her life and fight for a place in this country.
Untitled
By: Fabian Kuclo
I have been in the USA for almost two years, I will not say that I feel bad here, in general, the USA I like it here you can get a better life when you work hard not everyone likes it but most people emigrate here. This country also allowed me to find a job for me, which allowed me to fulfill one of my dreams and buy a bike better than my dreams. However, which does not change the fact that I hate this city, I often ask myself there are so many states in the USA and I had to go to this one New York City and the reason for that was that I have a family in this city. I do not like this city because of the place where it is not everywhere, no matter if in apartments or on the street, the views here are concrete, metal and people who, for me, there is too much and crime. In this city, no matter if you have a green light on the lanes, there may be someone under the influence of alcohol or drugs and kill you, I have an application on my phone that shows most of the crimes that take place here, shooting with guns and theft is the norm, and although I live at a police station and very much safe district And I'm so afraid that someone might throw me off the bike while riding a bike And put a gun or knife and steal my bike, which is not new here, and I earned money for this bike myself and bought it myself and I spent a really huge amount of money on it , for that much money you could buy a good quality car. And it all started like this about 3 years ago, when I found out that in about six months' time, my mother and I will immigrate to the USA, at first I was surprised and didn't know whether to be happy or to cry, but it was something else. I have been here before on vacation and it was great those memories, I was glad that I will come here, but about a month before that date it turned out that I would have to wait another half a year because only then we will fly here. Then I broke down because I had a mind that it is a pity for me to leave these friends from Poland and my family, but something ends and something begins, and then I found out that it was not. Half a year later I came here at the beginning it was even fun when I got to know this world, but when I got to know it it wasn't so much fun, mainly because of my hobby for which I need a forest and crooked terrain. I've been to a couple of other states in Pennsylvania, my family has a house, and almost half this year I was there when they were there because they had remote work through the computer so they could be there. I like everywhere where I was outside the city more than here, I used to be in Washington DC and I like that city because it is not a foregone conclusion, there is a lot of space and it's nice, but some say that it's good wherever we are.