Mental Health
May is Mental Health Awareness Month. “Mental health is essential to our overall health, and the importance of attending to mental health has become even more pronounced during the COVID-19 pandemic, which has not only negatively impacted many people’s mental health but has also created barriers to treatment.
Millions of adults and children across America experience mental health conditions, including anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Nearly one in five Americans lives with a mental health condition. Those living with mental health conditions are our family, friends, classmates, neighbors, and coworkers.” (Briefing Room: Proclamation on National Mental Health Awareness Month, 2021)
Click on the image to the left or title above to see a variety of facts and information on a mental health topics and the “Mental Health Challenge”. There is also a variety of tips, tricks, and tools you can use to help improve mental health.
What are Emotions?
Are emotions and feelings the same thing?
For most people feelings and emotions are very much the same. Naturally, we would perceive them as synonyms; two words with the same meaning. However, even though they are dependent on each other, emotions and feelings are rather different things.
Emotions describe physiological states and are generated subconsciously. Usually, they are autonomous bodily responses to certain external or internal events. By contrast, feelings are subjective experiences of emotions and are driven by conscious thoughts and reflections. This means that we can have emotions without having feelings, however, we simply cannot have feelings without having emotions.
Researchers have classified 7 core emotions: joy, surprise, fear, disgust, anger, contempt, and sadness. As you can see from the wheel above, all emotions build off the 7 core emotions. According to this theory, the more basic emotions act something like building blocks. More complex, sometimes mixed emotions, are blendings of these more basic ones. For example, basic emotions such as joy and trust can be combined to create love.
Positive Emotions & Feelings
How do we increase positive thinking?
The “power of positive thinking” is a popular concept, and sometimes it can feel a little cliché. But the physical and mental benefits of positive thinking have been demonstrated by multiple scientific studies. A positive mindset can give you more confidence, improve your mood, and even reduce the likelihood of developing conditions such as hypertension, depression and other stress-related disorders.
All this sounds great, but what does the “power of positive thinking” really mean?
You can define positive thinking as positive imagery, positive self-talk or general optimism, but these are all still general, ambiguous concepts. If you want to be effective in thinking and being more positive, you’ll need concrete examples to help you through the process.
Here are seven:
How you start the morning sets the tone for the rest of the day. Have you ever woken up late, panicked, and then felt like nothing good happened the rest of the day? This is likely because you started out the day with a negative emotion and a pessimistic view that carried into every other event you experienced. Instead of letting this dominate you, start your day with positive affirmations. Talk to yourself in the mirror, even if you feel silly, with statements like, “Today will be a good day” or “I’m going to be awesome today.” You’ll be amazed how much your day improves.
Almost invariably, you’re going to encounter obstacles throughout the day—there’s no such thing as a perfect day. When you encounter such a challenge, focus on the benefits, no matter how slight or unimportant they seem. For example, if you get stuck in traffic, think about how you now have time to listen to the rest of your favorite podcast. If the store is out of the food you want to prepare, think about the thrill of trying something new.
Allow yourself to experience humor in even the darkest or most trying situations. Remind yourself that this situation will probably make for a good story later and try to crack a joke about it. Say you’re laid off; imagine the most absurd way you could spend your last day, or the most ridiculous job you could pursue next—like kangaroo handler or bubblegum sculptor.
You aren’t perfect. You’re going to make mistakes and experience failure in multiple contexts, at multiple jobs and with multiple people. Instead of focusing on how you failed, think about what you’re going to do next time—turn your failure into a lesson. Conceptualize this in concrete rules. For example, you could come up with three new rules for managing projects as a result.
Negative self-talk can creep up easily and is often hard to notice. You might think I’m so bad at this or I shouldn’t have tried that. But these thoughts turn into internalized feelings and might cement your conceptions of yourself. When you catch yourself doing this, stop and replace those negative messages with positive ones. For example, I’m so bad at this becomes Once I get more practice, I’ll be way better at this. I shouldn’t have tried becomes That didn’t work out as planned—maybe next time.
I’m talking about the present—not today, not this hour, only this exact moment. You might be getting chewed out by your boss, but what in this exact moment is happening that’s so bad? Forget the comment he made five minutes ago. Forget what he might say five minutes from now. Focus on this one, individual moment. In most situations, you’ll find it’s not as bad as you imagine it to be. Most sources of negativity stem from a memory of a recent event or the exaggerated imagination of a potential future event. Stay in the present moment.
When you surround yourself with positive people, you’ll hear positive outlooks, positive stories and positive affirmations. Their positive words will sink in and affect your own line of thinking, which then affects your words and similarly contributes to the group. Finding positive people to fill up your life can be difficult, but you need to eliminate the negativity in your life before it consumes you. Do what you can to improve the positivity of others, and let their positivity affect you the same way.
Almost anybody in any situation can apply these lessons to their own lives and increase their positive attitude. As you might imagine, positive thinking offers compounding returns, so the more often you practice it, the greater benefits you’ll realize.
Challenging Thoughts & Feelings
How do we decrease negative thoughts?
Some emotions are positive. Think of happiness, joy, interest, curiosity, excitement, gratitude, love, and contentment. These positive emotions feel good. Negative emotions — like sadness, anger, loneliness, jealousy, self-criticism, fear, or rejection — can be difficult, even painful at times.
That's especially true when we feel a negative emotion too often, too strongly, or we dwell on it too long.
Negative emotions are impossible to avoid, though. Everyone feels them from time to time. They may be difficult, but we can learn to handle them.
Step 1: Identify the Emotion
Learning to notice and identify your feelings takes practice. In addition to focusing on your feelings, check in with your body, too. You may feel body sensations with certain emotions — perhaps your face gets hot, for example, or your muscles tense.
Be aware of how you feel. When you have a negative emotion, such as anger, try to name what you're feeling.
For example:
That guy Ian in my study group makes me so mad!
I get so jealous when I see that girl/guy with my ex.
I feel afraid whenever I have to walk past those bullies.
Don't hide how you feel from yourself. You might not want to broadcast your feelings to other people (like your ex, for example, or that guy in your study group who is making you mad). But don't suppress your feelings entirely. Simply naming the feeling is a lot better than pretending not to have it — or exploding without thinking.
Know why you feel the way you do. Figure out what happened that got you feeling the way you do.
For example:
Whenever we do group projects, Ian finds a way to take all the credit for other people's work.
Our teacher thinks Ian's the star of the team, even though he never has his own ideas.
When I see my ex flirting with other people, it reminds me that I still have feelings for him/her.
Even though the bullies don't pick on me, I see what they do to other people and it worries me.
Don't blame. Being able to recognize and explain your emotions isn't the same as blaming someone or something for the way you feel. Your ex probably isn't seeing someone new as a way to get back at you, and the guy who takes credit for your work might not even realize what he is doing. How you feel when these things happen comes from inside you. Your feelings are there for a reason — to help you make sense of what's going on.
Accept all your emotions as natural and understandable. Don't judge yourself for the emotions you feel. It's normal to feel them. Acknowledging how you feel can help you move on, so don't be hard on yourself.
Step 2: Take Action
Once you've processed what you're feeling, you can decide if you need to express your emotion. Sometimes it's enough to just realize how you feel, but other times you'll want to do something to feel better.
Think about the best way to express your emotion. Is this a time when you need to gently confront someone else? Talk over what you're feeling with a friend? Or work off the feeling by going for a run?
For example:
It won't solve anything to show my anger to Ian — it may even make him feel more superior! But my feelings tell me that I need to avoid getting in another situation where he takes control over a project.
I'll hold my head high around my ex, then I'll put on some sad songs and have a good cry in my room to help me release my feelings and eventually let go.
My fear of being around those bullies is a sign that they have gone too far. Perhaps I should talk about what's going on with a school counselor.
Learn how to change your mood. At a certain point, you'll want to shift from a negative mood into a positive one. Otherwise your thinking may get stuck on how bad things are, and that can drag you down into feeling worse. Try doing things that make you happy, even if you don't feel like it at the time. For example, you might not be in the mood to go out after a breakup, but going for a walk or watching a funny movie with friends can lift you out of that negative space.
Build positive emotions. Positive feelings create a sense of happiness and well being. Make it a habit to notice and focus on what's good in your life — even the little things, like the praise your dad gave you for fixing his bookshelves or how great the salad you made for lunch tastes. Noticing the good things even when you're feeling bad can help you shift the emotional balance from negative to positive.
Seek support. Talk about how you're feeling with a parent, trusted adult, or a friend. They can help you explore your emotions and give you a fresh way of thinking about things. And nothing helps you feel more understood and cared for than the support of someone who loves you for who you are.
Exercise. Physical activity helps the brain produce natural chemicals that promote a positive mood. Exercise also can release stress buildup and help you from staying stuck on negative feelings.
Step 3: Get Help With Difficult Emotions
Sometimes, no matter what you do, you can't shake a tough emotion. If you find yourself stuck in feelings of sadness or worry for more than a couple of weeks, or if you feel so upset that you think you might hurt yourself or other people, you may need extra help.
Talk to a school counselor, SAC, another trusted adult, or therapist. Counselors and therapists are trained to teach people how to break out of negative emotions. They can provide lots of tips and ideas that will help you feel better.
Emotion Regulation
Everyone experiences feeling, but how we process them is what is important. Here are some tools on how to process our emotions.
We expect emotional outbursts from very young children, but by the time they are in their tweens and teens we expect them to be controlled and self-managing. It is a big ask…and unrealistic. Emotional maturity takes a long time. The brain only reaches an adult state in a person’s early twenties.
EMOTIONAL REGULATION IN TEENS
There are times in this development where the experience of emotion is multiplied by the impact of hormones. When these chemicals first flood the brain at around age two and then again during puberty, all hell can break loose.
We tend to underestimate how often a child has to self-regulate over the course of a day. We don’t notice because we are so good at it and we forget what it was like to not have those skills down pat.
WHAT ARE THE SKILLS OF EMOTIONAL REGULATION?
According to Alice Boyes PhD, there are ten skills of emotional self-regulation that we need to master by the time we are adults.
Identifying which specific emotions you’re feeling.
Identifying which specific emotions someone else is feeling.
The ability to start and persist in pursuing goals even when you feel anxious.
The ability to tolerate awkwardness.
The ability to have intimate conversations rather than stonewall, avoid, or flee.
The ability not to crumble when someone is pressuring you.
The ability to soothe your own emotions.
The ability to soothe other people’s emotions.
The ability to not go over the top with positive emotion.
The ability to delay gratification.
Some would argue that an understanding of the additional factors that negatively impact our emotional regulation is also very important. Factors such as lack of sleep, lack of exercise, hunger, drug use and alcohol use.
WHAT CAN ADULTS DO TO HELP CHILDREN DEVELOP THEIR EMOTIONAL REGULATION SKILLS?
1. Create emotionally expressive environments at home and school. These are spaces and places for kids where they feel free to say how they feel without fear of being ‘shut down’. There is a limit on behaviour but there is not a limit on emotion.
2. Develop your empathy response and use it with children. Kids need to feel heard. You don’t have to fix anything, just listen to understand.
3. Create a strong sense of belonging. Ritual and routine can help here. This sense of belonging makes it safe to express emotion and learn how to regulate safely.
4. Model your own emotional regulation. Talk about emotions you are experiencing and the strategies you are using to regulate those emotions.
5. Overtly teach strategies for self-regulation:
Self-talk
Meditation
Take a break
Exercise
Talk with a good listener
Breathe
6. Talk to kids about emotional regulation and strategies when they are calm, not in the middle of a meltdown. Mindfulness is essential.
7. Teach kids that positive emotions need to be regulated, not just negative ones. When kids talk over others or act ‘over the top’ and silly because they are excited they put people off.
8. Try not to be dictated to by our culture’s gender bias. Unfortunately, males and females get quite different feedback to emotions. Boys are expected to suppress their emotions much more than girls. Equally as damaging is the perception that female expressions of emotion are melodramatic and not to be taken too seriously. Let’s avoid the dismissive, ‘that’s just girls’.
FINALLY…
Remind children that crying is a valid form of emotional regulation. Remember that it’s not necessary to stop someone crying. It won’t make them feel better. Just be with it. Tears are not a sign of weakness or of lack of competence. Crying releases emotional tension and can flag distress. Just because someone is emotional does not mean that what they are saying or thinking is not rational.
Coping Skills & Strategies
Stress is not just an adult problem. It’s also a frequent part of the teen experience. Young people experience stress related to school, current events, social status as well as preparing for the future. Our high school aged students, known as “Gen Z”, are most likely of all generations to report poor mental health making it critical we find ways to be supportive. While some stress is normal and can even benefit teens, if not properly managed it can lead to dangerous choices with long-term health implications. As teens learn to navigate challenges caring adults must guide them towards healthy coping skills.
Preparing Teens to Manage Stress
Managing stress is an important part of building resilience. Having a range of healthy coping skills to turn to allows young people to bounce back from challenges. We hope our children will come to us to talk about the stress in their lives. The reality is they often attempt to manage stress on their own. And in their attempts to reduce discomfort, teens often turn to things that make them feel better quickly. This may include taking part in risky behaviors like drinking or drug use. These short-term “fixes” are often misguided attempts to deal with stress. Equipping teens with a wide range of healthy coping skills reduces the need to turn to worrisome behaviors and supports emotional and physical health.
Adopting a Range of Strategies
The goal is to offer a wide array of healthy strategies so teens have options to draw from when needed. Consider the below coping skills to support teens to tackle stress.
1) Plan Ahead
We can’t always predict when challenges will come our way. But we can plan ahead. The ultimate way to plan ahead is to … literally make a plan! The CPTC offers a personalized stress management plan for teens that provides a set of strategies to choose from. Share this plan with your teens to inspire them to think about how they will deal with future stress.
2) Break Problems Down
It’s hard to think clearly when stressed because hormones and emotions are running high. The brain has trouble processing information and making decisions. This is true for adults and even more so for teens whose brains are going through a considerable period of growth. That’s why it’s important for teens to take time to process feelings and restore calm before making decisions. Guide them to tackle one problem, or even one piece of a problem, at a time. They could make lists. Map out the pros and cons of each choice. Or bounce ideas off someone else. In short, they’ve got to find ways to break seemingly big problems down into more manageable pieces.
3) Deal with Emotions
Stress causes all kinds of uncomfortable feelings. Anxiety, tension, frustration, and nervousness to name a few. It’s important to release these emotions in healthy ways. Some people find writing about their feelings in a journal to be helpful. Others benefit from creatively expressing themselves through art, music or dance. Some people like to meditate or pray. Talking to a trusted adult or friend about feelings can be healing.
4) Attend to Physical Health
Exercise is one of the best ways to deal with stress. It’s also important to eat healthy, get enough sleep, and build some relaxation time into busy schedules. When teens are healthy and relaxed they will have the energy needed to endure challenges. So encourage them to get moving, to listen to calming music, read for pleasure, or pursue a favorite hobby.
5) Avoid Stressful Things
While some situations need to be faced head on, others can be avoided altogether. This doesn’t mean running away from problems. It’s about being thoughtful of the people, places, and things that cause discomfort. Help teens figure out what’s causing them stress and encourage them to avoid the stuff they can. This kind of self-awareness is empowering.
Seeking Help
There is no one-size-fits-all way to handle stress. What works for one person might not for another. And there are nuances to every situation. So it helps to have a wide range of strategies to pull from. Above all teens must know they are not alone. There are people trained to help. While it’s clear teens are facing unhealthy levels of stress, some good news came from the2018 Stress in America survey — Gen Z is more likely to seek professional help when they’re struggling. Reinforce that asking for help is a sign of strength. School counselors, health care providers, or mental health professionals are just a call away.
Check out our Mindfulness & Meditation page that shares a bunch of relaxation, meditation and mindful activities. Click on the image to the right.
National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) Fact Sheets
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What is stigma and why is it a problem?
Stigma harms the 1 in 5 Americans affected by mental health conditions. It shames them into silence and prevents them from seeking help. Take the StigmaFree quiz to see if you might be affected.
The StigmaFree campaign is NAMI’s effort to end stigma and create hope for those affected by mental illness. Through powerful words and actions, we can shift the social and systemic barriers for those living with mental health conditions.
Mental Health Resources & Organizations
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The NHHS and VHS Media Centers has resources as well, click here to assess the NHHS Media Center and click here to access the VHS Media Center. Passwords for the different Media Center databases and e-book providers can be accessed here for NHHS students and here for VHS students. Only users logged into the NHV domain can access the password list.