A Life of Many Splendors

Poem - by Christina Sng

I.

I was born

In the void

Even before

The stars existed,

Flailing alone

In the darkness,

Never afraid of death.

Fearless of life.

II.

I have known

Eternity and its cost,

Of this emptiness

In my core

Filled only

By the wellspring

Of emotion

And its toll:

The excruciating

Pain of loss.

How we implode

With agony

When the ones we love

Cease to exist.

Such is the price

Of immortality.

III.

The eons of drifting

From star to star

Should have numbed me,

But they have not.

Instead, I feel

A wealth of emotions

Far vaster

Than any living creature,

For it is you

Who awakened them in me.

IV.

I do not want to live forever.

I want to cease to exist.

Yet, being born an anomaly

Means I cannot.

I will always be.

Even if I cut out my heart.

Even if I renounce my life.

There is no one to take it.

There is no higher power

That can grant me that wish.

I will always live on the fringe.

It is not of my choosing.

V.

Yet

I will live

These brief lives with you,

Our lives of many splendors,

Knowing our time will end.

Each rise and fall

Of your sun,

The encroaching fear

Of your death grows

Like a weed in the field

Choking the foliage,

A rogue planet coursing

Through a solar system,

Spinning everything

Into chaos.

That is my heart

When that day comes.

Even after all this time,

I must learn to live

In the present,

To savor each moment

As if I truly belong in it,

As if I never have to fear

Losing you

Over and over.

That is in the future,

Until it becomes today.

And my world ends again.

VI.

I fear death.

Your death.

I should stay away,

But I fail.

You are the light

In the darkness,

Illuminating

Our universe.

There is nothing else,

Nothing even close.

I am forever

Drawn to you,

Loving you wholly

Until you die again

And I go into seclusion

For another 10,000 years.

I tell myself,

I won’t try again.

But, I will.