Please Hold
Poem - by Anna Remennik
Hello, our valued customer. Your call
Is vitally important. Your account
Is all we live for. Enter in the number
You're calling for, your date of birth. The day
Is young, the phone tree unexplored. We long
To serve you. Thank you. Welcome. Will you hold?
Thank you for holding. May we place on hold
Our valued you, our customer? (your call
Is too important to be rushed) -- just long
Enough to transfer you. Now your account
Number, please, and then the joyous day
Of your nativity. And now the number
You're calling for. Your SSN. The number
Of glittering fishes that the sea can hold,
The grains of sand which measure out a day,
Stars in the sky. Yes, thank you for your call.
There seems to be a glitch with your account,
But don't worry, it won't take us long
To fix it -- not when you reflect how long
Pines grow and glaciers crawl, the sheer number
Of years, by most conservative account,
That separate us from Earth's birth. Please hold
That thought in mind as we address your call.
We hope you're having a fantastic day!
Thank you for holding. Life is, like a day
In dead of winter, short, but art is long --
The art of customer support. Your call
Unfolding in five acts, the very number
The ancients recommend. Its tale will hold
A tragic flaw, catharsis... Your account
Appears inactive. Yes the same account
We have discussed with you four times today.
It is a mystery. But if you'll hold
We'll transfer you wherever you belong:
There're other worlds, and infinite in number,
And one of them is sure to take your call --
Your world. And you can call it to account.
Hold fast the day, the universe, your number.
Thank you for holding. It should not be long.