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Separation Anxiety is a normal part of childhood and sometimes the transition to school is difficult. According to Michelle Curtin, D.O., a developmental-behavioral pediatrician at Riley Hospital for Children at Indiana University Health here are some strategies for separation anxiety:
Don’t remove the trigger. “With kids who are worriers, they tend to avoid things that make them worry. But if parents allow their kids to avoid everything that makes them anxious, they may be left with a very limited world—and they won’t learn how to move past their anxieties,” says Dr. Curtin.
Help your child build up a tolerance to being away from you. For instance, go to a play date together and sit in another room. The next time, go to the play date and leave for a short period of time. Then leave for longer stretches until your child becomes comfortable even when you’re not there. Try the same tactic at bedtime.
Instill confidence in your child. “Teach your child that this non-dangerous thing—even though it feels scary—is something they can conquer,” says Dr. Curtin. Let your child know she is strong and capable even without you. And do your best not to let any of your own worries about your child seep into her thoughts.
Encourage your child to try—and show your support. “We want to help our kids be as independent as possible, so you can’t solve this for your child but you can help him get through it,” says Dr. Curtin. “I compare it to climbing a jungle gym: urge your child to try, and if he falls down, tell him he did a great job and help him get back up again.”
Consider a transitional object. They’re not just for little kids. You might make a scrapbook of pictures for your child as she heads off to camp. Or maybe your child will want to wear a piece of your jewelry as a token of how you’re always with her in spirit.
Make a plan for new situations. If your child is starting a new phase, such as a new school, visit ahead of time and help him imagine what he might expect by talking through his new routine. This can alleviate the fear of uncertainty that may arise when you’re not there.
Practice positive reframing. Help your child think positively about situations. For instance, if your child is anxious about going to school, remind her that she will get to see her best friend or work on a project she loves—and that she can always ask her teacher for help if needed.
Find an experienced therapist. “For kids younger than age 8, therapy may involve working with the parents and child to manage the child’s distress,” says Dr. Curtin. “With older children, parents are still important, but the direct parental participation decreases. Children learn how to shift how they think about their fears.”
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