Conflict is a natural social and developmental milestone that all children may encounter throughout their elementary years.
Conflict is not always "bad" in it's nature, though it can certainly lend to many uncomfortable emotions. Elementary students may look to their parents or older siblings for guidance as they navigate social conflict.
Here are some tips for when social conflicts arise:
Listen actively and validate the feelings. When discussing a conflict, try to first attend to the feeling before you discuss the practicalities of 'what happened'. Before getting into the facts, try and first validate the feelings.
Ask inquisitive questions and try and manage your own emotions as you gather information. Your child can, and will, feed off of your tone towards the conflict. If you escalate, they likely will too. If you are calm and thinking rationally, that is more likely to be mirrored.
Challenge your child to think from a different perspective. It can be helpful to lead your questions with "Is it possible that..."
Prompt your child to think of problem solving strategies that they can utilize in the moment and after the fact (What can they say? Who can they tell? Who can they talk to?)
Make sure your child knows how to report on social conflict at school. If they are not comfortable reporting on it themselves, and it is something the school needs to follow up on, parents can be in touch directly. It may be helpful if the child helps write the email alongside you.
A helpful article from The Child Mind Institute on managing social conflict is linked here