Self-concept, Identity, and Motivation
A Growing Self-image
Feeling autonomous, preschoolers themselves as separate and unique individuals. They define themselves in concrete terms. Included in this internal picture of the image that preschoolers have of themselves are such things as their physical attributes, names, ages, genders, social affiliations, possessions, and abilities. A young child's self-image tends to be descriptive, rather than judgmental.
The Image-Esteem Connection
How preschoolers feel about these characteristics relates to their self-esteem. For example, children acquire a feeling of self-worth as a result of interactions with others who are important to them.
Although forming one's self-concept is a lifelong process, how the child feels about himself in the early years (positive or negative) can set a pattern for the rest of his life.
5 to 6 WILL THEY LIKE ME?" Ellen Booth Church
As the children come through the kindergarten door, some bound in, while others hang back. All are experiencing their first taste of going to the "big school," with all the accompanying thoughts and feelings related to defining themselves in this new setting.
Facing New Challenges
Traditionally, the beginning of the year is a time to focus on children's developing self-concept. One of the greatest challenges new kindergarten students face is the development of a strong and positive sense of self in a "big school" setting. It is not unusual for a normally confident child to experience some insecurity. The child may have difficulty separating. He may watch rather than participate, or he may be demanding of attention. The unspoken questions in his behavior might be saying, Who am I in this big group of kids? How do I fit in? How will I get my needs met?
Transitioning from "Me" to "Us"
It is helpful to understand the developmental viewpoint of a 5- or 6-year-old in order to assist him in developing a good sense of self within the new group at school and in the family. They are transitioning out of the egocentric "me" stage, to a stage in which they have a greater understanding of the "me" within the "us." It is not always an easy transition. Children can vacillate between having patience and understanding the needs of the group, to wanting their own needs met-now! Adults must help children see how their needs will be met within an appropriate time frame. One way to do this is to play turn-taking and transition games. These show children that waiting can be a fun activity.
Becoming Communicators
One of the greatest developing skills a kindergartner has is his ability to communicate. Language in kindergartners has grown beyond basic verbal skills, to include the ability to communicate feelings and needs. This is an important part of self-concept. And this is exactly the time to encourage language. Five- and six-year-olds often need to "talk out" their feelings and problems. Be sure to allow the time and space for these discussions, both in small and large groups.
Defining Themselves Within the Group
Children at this stage want to let you know what they need-even if this includes saying no to something that doesn't suit them. At this time of year, don't be surprised if children say no to participating in some group activities. They are using the power of no to help them define themselves within the group, and to take the time to see where they fit in.
Developing Self-Respect
At the core of all these behaviors is the development of self-respect. While self-concept is about "who I am," self-respect is more about "how I take care of myself." A strong sense of self allows children to be able to speak up if they think something is not fair, if they are being ignored, or even if they don't feel well. The key word is respect. As their self-concepts grow to include self-respect, children learn that what is fair for them also has to be fair for those around them. This is when and how a child learns that he is not a lonely fish in the big pool. He sees that he is actually one of many different fish that work together to create a harmoniously flowing sea of friends.