Kelso's Choices

One of our goals at Sunnyside is to teach students several positive ways to deal with conflict and make good decisions. Conflict or disagreement is normal and often happens when children get together. However, hurtful words, gestures, or actions are unacceptable ways to deal with conflict and disagreement at school. Our school uses a problem solving wheel called “Kelso’s Choices,” which allows students to choose their own solutions. Students are first taught the difference between “small” problems, which they can solve themselves and “big” problems, which need adult assistance. “Kelso’s Choices” encourages students to try at least two of the following ideas to solve small problems:

1. Go to another game or activity. 2. Share and take turns.

3. Respectfully talk it over and listen to each other.

4. Walk away from the problem. 5. Ignore the behavior.

6. Tell the person to stop. 7. Apologize.

8. Make a deal or compromise. 9. Wait and cool off.

This process can be done before asking for adult help. When a request for adult help is made, the student can tell the adult the two ideas that he/she tried. For example, “Mrs. Smith, Tom is teasing me about my glasses. I tried ignoring him, and I have told him it hurts my feelings when he makes fun of me. He’s still calling me names.” The teachers or other adult staff at school will then get involved and help solve the problem. Of course, the adult will immediately handle any serious conflicts that cause a child to feel threatened or frightened.

K-2^nd grade students receive lessons in this conflict management program. Most students in 3^rd-5^th grades then, know how to use these strategies. We encourage you to become familiar with this program and try it out at home. Below is a copy of “Kelso’s Choices” for your use. One way to become familiar with this wheel is to roleplay some “make believe” conflict situations with your child. Most students really enjoy these experiences. Knowing what to do when faced with conflicts will help students reduce their stress and the number of problems they may have at school and in their neighborhoods.

A note on assertiveness: These lessons will give students a chance to practice asking an adult for help, telling an adult about an unsafe situation, and being assertive to get out of unsafe situations. At Sunnyside, we call this using Giraffe Language. Students know this means "standing up straight and tall, looking the other person in the eyes and using a strong (confident, not necessarily loud) voice."