Building A Support Circle

Creating a Circle of Support

Since birth, we have been creating an intricate network of people in our lives; friends and/or family who are there for us in times of trouble, sorrow, and celebration. Those friends take an interest in us and our lives because we share common threads that bind us to one another. This group is called our Circle of Support or Friends. They are people we value in our lives who help us achieve our dreams or lend a hand when we are in need. We can count on them to be there for us. These relationships are formed in many ways, but generally come from meeting people in different places and environments. Meeting people, for most of us, occurs naturally and for the entirety of our lives. Judith Snow, a woman with a significant disability, explains it further and has described four different circles of relationships that everyone has in their lives.

Circle One: The CIRCLE OF INTIMACY is made up of those who we share great intimacy, our secrets, and heartfelt emotions. These are people or perhaps animals or objects that are so dear to us that their absence would impact us greatly. This may or may not include family members.

Circle Two: The CIRCLE OF FRIENDSHIP is made up of those people who are friends or relatives who we call upon to go out to dinner, see a movie, but are not those who we consider our most dear friends or those we must see regularly.

Circle Three: The CIRCLE OF PARTICIPATION is where you belong and includes the names of the people or organizations you participate with in life. This could contain spiritual groups, where you work, where you went or go to school, clubs, organizations, athletic teams, or where you participate and interact with people. Some of these individuals may later be in Circle one or two! Circle Three is the garden for sowing future relationships.

Circle Four: The CIRCLE OF EXCHANGE is made up of people who are paid to be in our lives. Doctors, teachers, dentists, social workers, therapists, hairdressers, car mechanics, and the like make up the numbers here.

Snow explains that when we look at the four circles for some people, we can see that there is a fair number in each circle. However, if we were to look at the circles for others, we would see a VERY DIFFERENT PATTERN. In some instances, such a person with a severe disability, circle four explodes with people paid to be in their lives. Circle Three, is the key circle. If a person has minimal social opportunities available for them and thus are excluded from creating connections to others and developing a true circle of friends or support. This sort of division can put a huge financial and emotion burden on you. A Circle of Support can begin to alleviate some of that strain and burden, however it does take work and planning.

While most of us have an easy and natural time creating wonderful circles of support, some struggle with this aspect of their lives. That is why helping them create a circle of support/friends can be a way to support their ability to develop meaningful relationships. How does one go about creating a circle of support/friends? Start by creating a list of individuals who believe in you. Members can be neighbors, family, or community members.

Getting Feedback from Others

During the career exploration process, it is important to get feedback and input from others in your life who know you well, to help validate and supplement what you’ve already identified about yourself. Your friends, peers, colleagues and loved-ones often see different and unique aspects and attributes about you which you may not see within yourself. Ask three people you know and trust to give you feedback on the following four questions.

https://career.berkeley.edu/sites/default/files/pdf/Plan/ConfirmationConversations2.pdf