Work and Post-Separation Abuse

By MIN Ambassador, 22.03.2026

Domestic abuse and post-separation abuse often occur out of sight. But even if that’s the case, the effects ripple out across people’s lives. Employment is no different, and managing work alongside any form of abuse can create real challenges. 

Different types of abuse

Domestic abuse covers a wide range of abusive behaviours, and may include more than one of them. This could be physical, sexual, psychological, emotional and financial abuse. Coercive control often underpins other types of abuse. This is where perpetrators, over time, create a pattern of behaviours to control the victim. It results in the victim adjusting their own behaviours in an effort to appease the perpetrator. At Mums In Need, we specialize in supporting victims of post-separation abuse. This is abuse that takes place after the relationship has ended. Often, but not always, this is a continuation of abuse. 

How abuse can affect work

There are many ways abuse can impact a victim’s ability to work or to perform at their usual standard. If someone is unreliable with the times they are agreed to have the children, a parent may be left without childcare. If someone has been kept awake all night, their work may suffer. Victims may be approached at their workplace, either physically or through phones or social media. Those suffering post-separation abuse may be dealing with legal proceedings, which drain energy and resources. It is important to recognise that victims of domestic abuse also suffer trauma, which affects people in different ways. 

Support from employers 

Employers do have a legal duty of care towards their employees, and it is recommended that they have a domestic abuse policy in place. In reality, the support available varies widely. The size of the business, the company culture, and relationships with colleagues all affect the support that a victim receives. Perpetrators can also be charming, and if known to the employer may present a false narrative about the situation.  

How employers can help  

Ideally employers will have a domestic abuse policy in place. This should also recognise post-separation abuse and the specific challenges it can present. For guidance, this toolkit, co-produced by Public Health England and Business In The Community in 2021, can provide a starting point. What is most important to remember is that there is no ‘type’ of victim or perpetrator. Abuse crosses all boundaries. There is also no ‘correct’ way for a victim to respond, as this is different for everybody. Remember that your compassion and support can make an immense difference to a victim’s life and recovery. 

What employees can do 

If domestic or post-separation abuse is affecting your work life, taking action can help to make things easier. The stresses that you are already under are huge, and so if you can ease it around work that has to be a good thing. Of course, the first step is making sure that your employer is aware of your situation. This is not always easy, but you should be able to speak with someone in confidence. This doesn’t have to be your direct boss or line manager if that doesn’t feel appropriate. Your employer should record any instances of domestic abuse you report to them, so if you need evidence later this may be useful. Exactly what or how much you tell them is up to you. You may want to discuss this with someone else first. Knowing and maintaining your boundaries is important when you’ve been a victim of abuse. Your employer should not ‘pry’, so perhaps prepare a response, such as ‘I’m not comfortable answering that right now’, in case that arises.

Additional support 

You may have access to legal or counselling services through your employer. Check your company handbook or speak with the HR department to find out if this is the case. There may be other types of compassionate leave that you could use too. If you need to attend court or are having issues with childcare, let your employer know. It’s better that they understand you are trying to make things work than assume you just don’t want to be there. 

If you have a counsellor or support worker, speak with them about any issues you’re finding with work. They can help you plan how you approach your employer if you’re worried about it. Asking for help isn’t easy, especially if you’ve been isolated in your relationship. However, domestic abuse is more common than we often realise. Awareness of it is rising too. There are people who want to support you, so do ask and be prepared to accept it too.