June is Pride month!
These are trying times for everyone. The "new" normal is something we all are trying to navigate. If you're a parent and you're lucky enough to be working from home, the challenges are plentiful! If you're a parent and a school staff member, challenges are abound! If you're a parent and struggling to make ends meet because you've been laid off from your job or furloughed, the issues at home are compounded! We in Lawrence want you to know we understand and feel your pain! In the pages that follow, we hope to provide you with some tools and resources to help you navigate these difficult times. In the following pages, you will be spoken to in "real time!" I'm talking "REAL" talk! There will be humorous posts because we all know humor is the best medicine! We will provide you with some self care suggestions, ways to handle your children who are constantly asking you questions and looking to you to ease their boredom! We hope to help our multi-taskers who are juggling many balls in the air at once! Please take the time to read some of what we are offering. Our hope is that you find some information that can be helpful to YOU and your mental health and to your current situation. We ARE in this together and we WILL get through this.
#LAWRENCESTRONG
Parents want their children to be happy, healthy, and safe. They will go to great extremes to ensure this. The love of a child far exceeds any other relationship. Children yearn for that love just as much as a parent wanting to give it. Parents will go to great lengths to ensure their child's basic needs are met. If your child comes out to you as LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer), that may or may not be something you imagined or feel prepared for. All too often, these children will not have the conversation with their parents in fear of being judged, not accepted and ostracized from the family. In worse cases, children are condemned and forbidden to speak to friends of the same sex and have important things like pictures of friends ripped down in their rooms, sports, theater and other activities taken away. In more severe cases, children are kicked out of their homes or threatened with conversion therapy. Unfortunately, conversion therapy still exists and is still legal in many states.
https://optionb.org/articles/why-accepting-your-lgbtq-child-matters-and-how-to-start
Self-Care Tips for Parents During Times of Heightened Stress
Jackie Bramble, LSW, Community Liaison with High Focus Centers in Cherry Hill, NJ, shares some helpful tips for parents whose teens are struggling with anxiety during the COVID-19 pandemic. Quarantine and self-distancing may make adolescent anxiety symptoms worse. Here are several ways that parents can help their teens cope during these difficult and unprecedented times.
I don't know about you, but a real good deep gut belly laugh is by far the best feeling in the world! You know...the kind that either makes your stomach muscles feel like you just did 4830 crunches!..or you begin choking and you're about to pass out because you can't catch your breath, to the dreaded...."I peed my pants!"
There is a lot of scientific research that proves the power of laughter is truly "The Best Medicine"
Here's some research to back this!
To all hard working teachers are out there trying to juggle teaching, coordinating your own child's learning, being a parent. This one's for you!
YOU WILL SURVIVE!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCe5PaeAeew
Jim Lyttle, Ph.D., MBA, who is a serious humor researcher, professor at Long Island University and an active member of the International Society for Humor Studies, tackles the question of whether a laugh a day, indeed, keeps the doctor away. Here is what he says:
Laughter is very powerful medicine. Some of the health benefits of humor and laughter include:
Fosters instant relaxation and lowers blood pressure
Boosts immune system.
Improves brain functioning and protects the heart.
When we laugh, natural killer cells, which destroy tumors and viruses, increase along with Gamma-interferon (a disease-fighting protein), T-cells (important for our immune system) and B-cells (which make disease-fighting antibodies).
Laughter increases oxygen in the blood, which also encourages healing.
“When you laugh, your mind, body, and spirit change” Mark Twain
Mental health benefits of humor and laughter include:
Reduces stress, depression, anxiety and fear.
Elevates mood.
Increases energy and can help us perform activities that we might otherwise avoid.
Can be a safe way to introduce ourselves to others.
Laughter, like a smile, is the shortest distance between two people. It makes people feel closer to each other.
When we experience humor, we talk more, make more eye contact with others, touch others, etc.
Marriages and relationships can tremendously benefit from humor and laughter.
When people laugh together, they feel bonded and can better go through hardship together.
A healthy sense of humor is related to being able to laugh at oneself and a way of accepting oneself.
Benefits of humor in therapy:
Enhances therapeutic alliance and increases trust between therapists and clients.
Helps clients feel good about themselves.
Helps clients gain perspective.
Humor can help clients’ thought processes by helping them to get unstuck.
Helps clients cope with difficult situations, such as death and illness.
Helps clients accept themselves. (“The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.” – Bob Hope)
Activates the chemistry of the will to live and increases our capacity to fight disease.
Humor can be used diagnostically. Goethe said: “People show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable.” The kind of humor people use often shows the kind of people they are.
Laughter is cathartic.
There are many issues surfacing for most people. Trying to navigate these emotional roller coasters for both you and your children can be challenging. We will try to break this down into what's happening with you being a parent to what it means to be a working parent and/or school staff member working from home. Some issues overlap so we hope you find the information beneficial in whatever area you may be experiencing in your life right now.
As this branch grows with only the water to help sustain it, we too have the ability to overcome the obstacles.
According to the American Psychological Association, psychologists define resilience as the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress — such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems, or workplace and financial stressors. As much as resilience involves "bouncing back" from these difficult experiences, it can also involve profound personal growth.
Below are two video's to help guide assist you with understanding your power of resilience
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpS1Thnvz0Y&feature=youtu.be
The pain of traumatic events can lead some people to isolate themselves, but it’s important to accept help and support from those who care about you.
For example, if you got laid off at work, you can choose to sit stagnant or you can spend an hour each day developing your top strengths or working on your resume. Taking initiative will remind you that you can muster motivation and purpose even during stressful periods of your life, increasing the likelihood that you’ll rise up during painful times again.
Getting help when you need it is crucial in building your resilience. We will supply you a wealth of resources in the pages to come.
The important thing is to remember you’re not alone on the journey. While you may not be able to control all of your circumstances, you can grow by focusing on the aspects of life’s challenges you can manage with the support of loved ones and trusted professionals.
“Gratitude is good for you; it creates a biochemical shift in the body. The brain responds to positive input and sends life-enhancing messages to every cell.” –Deepak Chopra
Let's be honest folks! We've all had some time to do things that we probably wouldn't necessarily do during this time of isolation. You may not notice even in yourself but do you see yourself doing more family things? There are families out in the yard playing ball, taking a walk, digging in the dirt with their children, drawing on the sidewalks, playing board games with the family.
Even more important is the time you take for yourself! In our everyday lives we rarely see the benefit to taking "me time." Now, you have the option to do so. What have you done with it? Have you perseverated on the negative? How do you perceive your current situation? Is there room for growth and healing?
Gratitude can be a powerful tool for resilience in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic! We turn on the TV, messages stream across our computers, radio stations flood us with updates! Most are negative..only recently have we seen the outcry of support and hope coming through with people like us trying to make a difference and supporting one another! The positive stories and volunteerism we see keeps our hope alive that "WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS AND THIS TOO WILL PASS"
Here are some simple, yet profound strategies to help remind us all to keep the light at the end of this tunnel burn bright with optimism and hope.
Think of 3 things you are grateful for upon waking and going to sleep every day. Here's some ways to kick start your list:
Who do we often go to when we experience feelings that are uncomfortable? Do you speak to your significant other? Is it your mother/father, aunt/uncle? Is it the co-worker that just always seem to be there at the right time? Or...is it your BFF (Best friend forever for those who are not familiar with this scientific term)? You know...the one that can tell you that your hair needs a highlight or "are you really going out like that?" The one that will NOT sugar coat things for you but instead give you the real on something! The one that you can bear your soul to and you know that your secrets will go with them to their grave! The one that has your back even when they think you're wrong! Then afterwards they tell you so! The one that will as the saying goes...."take a bullet for you!"....That friend!!!
These are the people that get us through....DO NOT HESITATE TO REACH OUT! You know they will be there for you! Often times we are embarrassed or fear judgement. When it becomes difficult for you navigate everyday routine...take a break and call that person! It interrupts your negative thought process and allows to reset.
ASK FOR HELP! Let them know you're struggling! Sometimes they have the best advice or can guide you to addressing your needs.
When feelings become overwhelming and/or your current life situation changes. Sometimes professional help is the one means to get you through. The following information is for YOU! PLEASE take the time to read what is available to you! If you are struggling and cannot navigate your way, there are many people in Lawrence that can help you! Outreach to your child's school counselor, Child Study Team case worker, the district SAC, Ann DeGennaro, a school psychologist, administrator, a teacher. They can help you navigate resources. We hope you gain some helpful information from this site! It will be updated periodically. Until we meet again....
Be safe...be healthy....WE ARE #LAWRENCESTRONG
Violence against women remains a major threat throughout the world. The increase in violence against women during this pandemic becomes highly prevelent. According to WHO 1 in 3 women worldwide have experienced physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner or sexual violence by any perpetrator in their lifetime. Most of this is intimate partner violence. Statistics show violence against women tends to increase during every type of emergency, including epidemics. Older women and women with disabilities are likely to have additional risks and needs. Women who are displaced are particularly vulnerable. The health impacts of violence, particularly intimate partner/domestic violence, on women and their children, are significant. Violence against women can result in injuries and serious physical, mental, sexual and reproductive health problems, including sexually transmitted infections, HIV, and unplanned pregnancies.
IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING ANY OF THE ABOVE SEEK HELP IMMEDIATELY!
Suicide is the second leading cause of death for young people between 10 to 24. Sometimes the struggle can be underestimated because of their age. During this pandemic, a young person who was experiencing signs of mental instability or who has already been diagnosed with a mental health issue, can be feeling overwhelmed and lost. They may have limited access to their therapist, psychiatrist or other mental health professional. Their feelings are still there but they may be having difficulty expressing these emotions to you as their care giver. Here are some helpful tips in assisting your child through this difficult time for them. If these symptoms become exacerbated seek help immediately. Go to your local crisis center: https://www.mercerresourcenet.org/health-services/crisis-safety/
Parents often struggle with the difficult task of figuring out how to help their child who may be experiencing crisis. Here are some simple techniques and a video to help you understand how to help your child in need.
Maybe your child is merely having a bad day, but maybe it's something more if this mood has been going on for a couple of weeks.
Depressed people often retreat into themselves, when secretly they're crying out to be rescued. Many times they're too embarrassed to reveal their unhappiness to others, including Mom and Dad. Boys in particular may try to hide their emotions, in the misguided belief that displaying the feeling is a fifty-foot-high neon sign of weakness.
DO NOT WAIT FOR YOUR CHILD to come to you with their problems or concerns. Knock on the door, park yourself on the bed, and say, "You seem sad. Would you like to talk about it? Maybe I can help."
Studies have found that one trait common to families affected by a son's or daughter's suicide is poor communication between parents and child. However, there are usually three or more issues or factors going on all at once in a child's life at the time when he or she is thinking about taking his or her life.
These include but are not limited to:
If in doubt, call a crisis center or take them to your nearest crisis unit in the local hospital. I prefer Princeton Hospital on Rt. 1 in Plainsboro but you can take them to Helen Fuld in Trenton as well.
Let them know they are not alone and that you are concerned for their health and well-being and your love for them will be your driving force to get them through this.
During this pandemic, self isolation if easy to do! Encourage and even at times force your child to participate in something you know they would enjoy. DO NOT force them to do something you know they have no interest in. Ask them what they might want to do. Also encourage them to outreach to their friends virtually or through social media. If they have a therapist, have them chat with them via phone or other means. Today zoom and skype have been effective in outreaching to our high risk populations
There are a wealth of websites and Youtube video's to help them navigate ways to increase their endorphin and cortisol levels. (See resources)
Suggest that he or she divide large tasks into smaller, more manageable ones whenever possible and participate in favorite, low-stress activities. The goal is to rebuild confidence and self-esteem.
Talk therapy and/or medication usually take time to improve mood. Your child shouldn't become discouraged if he or she doesn't feel better right away
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h18JyK3IjSY
https://childmind.org/article/supporting-teenagers-and-young-adults-during-the-coronavirus-crisis/
In an effort to preserve the recovery communities we've built together and continue to provide a place of hope and safety during these challenging times, we have created a full calendar of virtual All Recovery meetings that you can join online or by phone.
We are in this together and we will get through this as a community. Be healthy, stay safe and stay in touch.
Zoom Meeting Schedule
Our All Recovery Meetings are accessible online or by phone:
Mondays
12pm-1pm ET
Meeting ID: 563 540 664
One tap mobile: +19292056099,, 563540664# US (New York)
7pm-8pm ET
Meeting ID: 752 228 102
One tap mobile: +19292056099,,752228102#
Tuesdays
12pm-1pm ET
Meeting ID: 115 612 901
One tap mobile: +19292056099,,115612901#
6pm-7:30pm ET
Meeting ID: 708 276 700
One tap mobile: +19292056099,,708276700#
Wednesdays
12pm-1pm ET
Meeting ID: 804 406 743
One tap mobile: +19292056099,,804406743#
7:45pm-8:45pm ET
Meeting ID: 173 540 126
One tap mobile: +19292056099,,173540126#
Thursdays
3pm-4pm ET
Meeting ID: 770 326 034
One tap mobile: +19292056099,, 770326034#
6pm-7:30pm ET
Meeting ID: 498 549 489
One tap mobile: +19292056099,,498549489#
Fridays
12pm-1pm ET
Meeting ID: 722 363 460
One tap mobile: +19292056099,,722363460#
7:30pm-8:30pm ET
Meeting ID: 103 816 928
One tap mobile: +19292056099,,103816928#
High Focus Centers: https://highfocuscenters.pyramidhealthcarepa.com/
Gen Psych Center: https://genpsych.com/telehealth/
Good Grief: https://good-grief.org/schools/
https://www.nami.org/covid-19-guide
Some humorous guided meditation to bring a smile to your face: https://www.gregberman.com/gregsguidedmeditation
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz2ehfhmbcg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdMSviGsfL0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bleOTMDa3_4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H9qdpUzu4M&t=30s
https://www.pastemagazine.com/health/fitness/the-10-best-fitness-youtube-channels/?amp
https://www.thrillist.com/amphtml/health/nation/best-fitness-youtube-channels-for-bodyweight-workouts
https://mashable.com/article/best-workout-apps-youtube-channels.amp