These are trying times for everyone. The "new" normal is something we all are trying to navigate. If you're a parent and you're lucky enough to be working from home, the challenges are plentiful! If you're a parent and a school staff member, challenges are abound! If you're a parent and struggling to make ends meet because you've been laid off from your job or furloughed, the issues at home are compounded! We in Lawrence want you to know we understand and feel your pain! In the pages that follow, we hope to provide you with some tools and resources to help you navigate these difficult times. In the following pages, you will be spoken to in "real time!" I'm talking "REAL" talk! There will be humorous posts because we all know humor is the best medicine! We will provide you with some self care suggestions, ways to handle your children who are constantly asking you questions and looking to you to ease their boredom! We hope to help our multi-taskers who are juggling many balls in the air at once! Please take the time to read some of what we are offering. Our hope is that you find some information that can be helpful to YOU and your mental health and to your current situation. We ARE in this together and we WILL get through this.

#LAWRENCESTRONG

Tips for Parents of Teens Struggling with Anxiety during COVID-19:

Jackie Bramble, LSW, Community Liaison with High Focus Centers in Cherry Hill, NJ, shares some helpful tips for parents whose teens are struggling with anxiety during the COVID-19 pandemic. Quarantine and self-distancing may make adolescent anxiety symptoms worse. Here are several ways that parents can help their teens cope during these difficult and unprecedented times.

https://highfocuscenters.pyramidhealthcarepa.com/tips-for-parents-of-teens-struggling-with-anxiety-during-covid-19-tip-of-the-day/

To all hard working teachers are out there trying to juggle teaching, coordinating your own child's learning, being a parent. This one's for you!

YOU WILL SURVIVE!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CCe5PaeAeew

Jim Lyttle, Ph.D., MBA, who is a serious humor researcher, professor at Long Island University and an active member of the International Society for Humor Studies, tackles the question of whether a laugh a day, indeed, keeps the doctor away. Here is what he says:

Laughter is very powerful medicine. Some of the health benefits of humor and laughter include:

• Fosters instant relaxation and lowers blood pressure
• Boosts immune system.
• Improves brain functioning and protects the heart.
• When we laugh, natural killer cells, which destroy tumors and viruses, increase along with Gamma-interferon (a disease-fighting protein), T-cells (important for our immune system) and B-cells (which make disease-fighting antibodies).
• Laughter increases oxygen in the blood, which also encourages healing.
• “When you laugh, your mind, body, and spirit change” Mark Twain

Some ways to improve and build upon the resiliency you already possess:

Build your connections

• Prioritize relationships. Connecting with empathetic and understanding people can remind you that you’re not alone in the midst of difficulties. Focus on finding trustworthy and compassionate individuals who validate your feelings, which will support the skill of resilience.

The pain of traumatic events can lead some people to isolate themselves, but it’s important to accept help and support from those who care about you.

• Join a virtual group. Along with one-on-one relationships, some people find that being active in civic groups, faith-based communities, or other local organizations provides social support and can help you reclaim hope. Stay connected to the organizations and/or groups you are active in.

Foster wellness

• Take care of your body. Self-care may be a popular buzzword, but it’s also a legitimate practice for mental health and building resilience. That’s because stress is just as much physical as it is emotional. Promoting positive lifestyle factors like proper nutrition, ample sleep, hydration and regular exercise can strengthen your body to adapt to stress and reduce the toll of emotions like anxiety or depression.
• Practice mindfulness. Mindful journaling, yoga, and other spiritual practices like prayer or meditation can also help people build connections and restore hope, which can prime them to deal with situations that require resilience. When you journal, meditate, or pray, ruminate on positive aspects of your life and recall the things you’re grateful for, even during personal trials.

Find purpose

• Help others. Look for something you and your family can do to help during this crisis! Your local homeless shelter's are in need of food so perhaps start a food drive. Or, you can simply support a friend in their own time of need, you can garner a sense of purpose, foster self-worth, connect with other people and tangibly help others, all of which can empower you to grow in resilience.
• Be proactive. It’s helpful to acknowledge and accept your emotions during hard times, but it’s also important to help you foster self-discovery by asking yourself, “What can I do about a problem in my life?” If the problems seem too big to tackle, break them down into manageable pieces.

For example, if you got laid off at work, you can choose to sit stagnant or you can spend an hour each day developing your top strengths or working on your resume. Taking initiative will remind you that you can muster motivation and purpose even during stressful periods of your life, increasing the likelihood that you’ll rise up during painful times again.

• Move toward your goals. Develop some realistic goals and do something regularly — even if it seems like a small accomplishment — that enables you to move toward the things you want to accomplish. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem unachievable, ask yourself, "What's one thing I know I can accomplish today that helps me move in the direction I want to go?" For example, if you've been trying get to exercising now's the time to start! Take a walk!!!
• Look for opportunities for self-discovery. With not evening realizing it, we are all forced to do some self reflection during this isolation period. What better time than now than to begin to start some self-evaluation. This is all part of our life journey. What is that one issue that is pressing on your mind that you never had the time to address. Today can be that do for self reflection. This can increase your sense of self-worth and heighten your appreciation for life.

Embrace healthy thoughts

• Keep things in perspective. How you think can play a significant part in how you feel — and how resilient you are when faced with obstacles. Try to identify areas of irrational thinking, such as a tendency to catastrophize difficulties or assume the world is out to get you, and adopt a more balanced and realistic thinking pattern. For instance, if you feel overwhelmed by a challenge, remind yourself that what happened to you isn’t an indicator of how your future will go, and that you’re not helpless. You may not be able to change a highly stressful event, but you can change how you interpret and respond to it.
• Accept change. Accept that change is a part of life. Certain goals or ideals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations in your life. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you can alter.
• Maintain a hopeful outlook. It’s hard to be positive when life isn’t going your way. An optimistic outlook empowers you to expect that good things will happen to you. Try visualizing what you want, rather than worrying about what you fear. Along the way, note any subtle ways in which you start to feel better as you deal with difficult situations.
• Learn from your past. By looking back at who or what was helpful in previous times of distress, you may discover how you can respond effectively to new difficult situations. Remind yourself of where you’ve been able to find strength and ask yourself what you’ve learned from those experiences.

Seeking help

Getting help when you need it is crucial in building your resilience. We will supply you a wealth of resources in the pages to come.

The important thing is to remember you’re not alone on the journey. While you may not be able to control all of your circumstances, you can grow by focusing on the aspects of life’s challenges you can manage with the support of loved ones and trusted professionals.

Acknowledgments

Who do we often go to when we experience feelings that are uncomfortable? Do you speak to your significant other? Is it your mother/father, aunt/uncle? Is it the co-worker that just always seem to be there at the right time? Or...is it your BFF (Best friend forever for those who are not familiar with this scientific term)? You know...the one that can tell you that your hair needs a highlight or "are you really going out like that?" The one that will NOT sugar coat things for you but instead give you the real on something! The one that you can bear your soul to and you know that your secrets will go with them to their grave! The one that has your back even when they think you're wrong! Then afterwards they tell you so! The one that will as the saying goes...."take a bullet for you!"....That friend!!!

These are the people that get us through....DO NOT HESITATE TO REACH OUT! You know they will be there for you! Often times we are embarrassed or fear judgement. When it becomes difficult for you navigate everyday routine...take a break and call that person! It interrupts your negative thought process and allows to reset.

ASK FOR HELP! Let them know you're struggling! Sometimes they have the best advice or can guide you to addressing your needs.

Violence against women remains a major threat throughout the world. The increase in violence against women during this pandemic becomes highly prevelent. According to WHO 1 in 3 women worldwide have experienced physical and/or sexual violence by an intimate partner or sexual violence by any perpetrator in their lifetime. Most of this is intimate partner violence. Statistics show violence against women tends to increase during every type of emergency, including epidemics. Older women and women with disabilities are likely to have additional risks and needs. Women who are displaced are particularly vulnerable. The health impacts of violence, particularly intimate partner/domestic violence, on women and their children, are significant. Violence against women can result in injuries and serious physical, mental, sexual and reproductive health problems, including sexually transmitted infections, HIV, and unplanned pregnancies.

How COVID-19 can exacerbate risks of violence for women

• Stress, the disruption of social and protective networks, and decreased access to services can all exacerbate the risk of violence for women.
• As distancing measures are put in place and people are encouraged to stay at home, the risk of intimate partner violence is likely to increase.
  • For example: The likelihood that women in an abusive relationship and their children will be exposed to violence is dramatically increased, as family members spend more time in close contact and families cope with additional stress and potential economic or job losses.
• Women may have less contact with family and friends who may provide support and protection from violence.
• Women bear the brunt of increased care work during this pandemic. School closures further exacerbate this burden and place more stress on them.
• The disruption of livelihoods and ability to earn a living, including for women (many of whom are informal wage workers), will decrease access to basic needs and services, increasing stress on families, with the potential to exacerbate conflicts and violence. As resources become scarcer, women may be at greater risk for experiencing economic abuse.
• Perpetrators of abuse may use restrictions due to COVID-19 to exercise power and control over their partners to further reduce access to services, help, and psychosocial support from both formal and informal networks.
• Perpetrators may also restrict access to necessary items such as soap and hand sanitizer.
• Perpetrators may exert control by spreading misinformation about the disease and stigmatize partners.
• Access to vital sexual and reproductive health services, including for women subjected to violence, will likely become more limited.
• Other services, such as hotlines, crisis centers, shelters, legal aid, and protection services may also be scaled back, further reducing access to the few sources of help that women in abusive relationships might have.

Dealing with Mental Health Issues

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for young people between 10 to 24. Sometimes the struggle can be underestimated because of their age. During this pandemic, a young person who was experiencing signs of mental instability or who has already been diagnosed with a mental health issue, can be feeling overwhelmed and lost. They may have limited access to their therapist, psychiatrist or other mental health professional. Their feelings are still there but they may be having difficulty expressing these emotions to you as their care giver. Here are some helpful tips in assisting your child through this difficult time for them. If these symptoms become exacerbated seek help immediately. Go to your local crisis center: https://www.mercerresourcenet.org/health-services/crisis-safety/

How To Help: (healthychildren.org)

Parents often struggle with the difficult task of figuring out how to help their child who may be experiencing crisis. Here are some simple techniques and a video to help you understand how to help your child in need.

1. Don't let your teen's depression or anxiety snowball.

Maybe your child is merely having a bad day, but maybe it's something more if this mood has been going on for a couple of weeks.

• Fact: 9 in 10 teens who take their own lives met criteria for a diagnosis of psychiatric or mental health condition or disorder—more than half of them with a mood disorder such as depression or anxiety.

Depressed people often retreat into themselves, when secretly they're crying out to be rescued. Many times they're too embarrassed to reveal their unhappiness to others, including Mom and Dad. Boys in particular may try to hide their emotions, in the misguided belief that displaying the feeling is a fifty-foot-high neon sign of weakness.

DO NOT WAIT FOR YOUR CHILD to come to you with their problems or concerns. Knock on the door, park yourself on the bed, and say, "You seem sad. Would you like to talk about it? Maybe I can help."

2. Listen—even when your teen is not talking.

Studies have found that one trait common to families affected by a son's or daughter's suicide is poor communication between parents and child. However, there are usually three or more issues or factors going on all at once in a child's life at the time when he or she is thinking about taking his or her life.

These include but are not limited to:

• Major loss (i.e., break up or death)
• Substance use
• Peer or social pressure
• Access to weapons
• Public humiliation
• Severe chronic pain
• Chronic medical condition
• Impulsiveness/aggressiveness
• Family history of suicide

3. Never shrug off threats of suicide as typical teenage melodrama.

• Any written or verbal statement of "I want to die" or "I don't care anymore" should be treated seriously. Often, children who attempt suicide had been telling their parents repeatedly that they intended to kill themselves.

Some red flags to look for:

• "Nothing matters."
• "I wonder how many people would come to my funeral?"
• "Sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up."
• "Everyone would be better off without me."
• "You won't have to worry about me much longer."

4. Seek professional help right away.

If in doubt, call a crisis center or take them to your nearest crisis unit in the local hospital. I prefer Princeton Hospital on Rt. 1 in Plainsboro but you can take them to Helen Fuld in Trenton as well.

5. Share your feelings.

Let them know they are not alone and that you are concerned for their health and well-being and your love for them will be your driving force to get them through this.

6. Encourage your teen not isolate himself or herself from family and friends.

During this pandemic, self isolation if easy to do! Encourage and even at times force your child to participate in something you know they would enjoy. DO NOT force them to do something you know they have no interest in. Ask them what they might want to do. Also encourage them to outreach to their friends virtually or through social media. If they have a therapist, have them chat with them via phone or other means. Today zoom and skype have been effective in outreaching to our high risk populations

7. Recommend exercise and meditation.

There are a wealth of websites and Youtube video's to help them navigate ways to increase their endorphin and cortisol levels. (See resources)

8. Urge your teen not to demand too much of himself or herself.

Suggest that he or she divide large tasks into smaller, more manageable ones whenever possible and participate in favorite, low-stress activities. The goal is to rebuild confidence and self-esteem.

9. Remind your teen who is undergoing treatment not to expect immediate results.

Talk therapy and/or medication usually take time to improve mood. Your child shouldn't become discouraged if he or she doesn't feel better right away

10. If you keep guns at home, store them safely or move all firearms elsewhere until the crisis has passed. Keep all medication locked or in a safe place where there is limited access.

How can we prevent childhood suicide? | Jenny Buscher | TEDxHelena

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h18JyK3IjSY

Some Additional Resources for YOU and your family

For the family:

Deartment of Justice: https://www.justice.gov/ovw/local-resources

Prevent Child Abuse America: https://preventchildabuse.org/coronavirus-resources/

Office of Family Voice:https://www.nj.gov/dcf/news/publications/Family.Voice-Youth.Guidance.During.COVID.pdf

Mercer County Covid-19 Resources: https://cjfhc.org/

Women's Space: https://womanspace.org/

The following resources come from our friends at the Mercer Council on Alcoholism and Drug Abuse:

Parenting tips: https://www.who.int/news-room/campaigns/connecting-the-world-to-combat-coronavirus/healthyathome/healthyathome---healthy-parenting

Activities Abound!:

https://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/activities-guide-enhancing-and-practicing-executive-function-skills-with-children-from-infancy-to-adolescence/

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2020/03/16/coronavirus-quarantine-100-things-do-while-trapped-inside/5054632002/

https://childmind.org/article/supporting-teenagers-and-young-adults-during-the-coronavirus-crisis/

For Those Dealing with Substance Use, Misuse and Abuse

What a better time than now to have some fruitful conversations with your children about the detrimental effects of vaping, marijuana and alcohol use. Here are some resources for both you as the adult and your child.

Virtual All Recovery Meetings

In an effort to preserve the recovery communities we've built together and continue to provide a place of hope and safety during these challenging times, we have created a full calendar of virtual All Recovery meetings that you can join online or by phone.

We are in this together and we will get through this as a community. Be healthy, stay safe and stay in touch.

RWJBarnabas Health Institute for Prevention and Recovery

Zoom Meeting Schedule

Our All Recovery Meetings are accessible online or by phone:

Mondays

12pm-1pm ET

https://zoom.us/j/563540664

Meeting ID: 563 540 664

One tap mobile: +19292056099,, 563540664# US (New York)

7pm-8pm ET

https://zoom.us/j/752228102

Meeting ID: 752 228 102

One tap mobile: +19292056099,,752228102#

Tuesdays

12pm-1pm ET

https://zoom.us/j/115612901

Meeting ID: 115 612 901

One tap mobile: +19292056099,,115612901#

6pm-7:30pm ET

https://zoom.us/j/708276700

Meeting ID: 708 276 700

One tap mobile: +19292056099,,708276700#

Wednesdays

12pm-1pm ET

https://zoom.us/j/804406743

Meeting ID: 804 406 743

One tap mobile: +19292056099,,804406743#

7:45pm-8:45pm ET

https://zoom.us/j/173540126

Meeting ID: 173 540 126

One tap mobile: +19292056099,,173540126#

Thursdays

3pm-4pm ET

https://zoom.us/j/770326034

Meeting ID: 770 326 034

One tap mobile: +19292056099,, 770326034#

6pm-7:30pm ET

https://zoom.us/j/498549489

Meeting ID: 498 549 489

One tap mobile: +19292056099,,498549489#

Fridays

12pm-1pm ET

https://zoom.us/j/722363460

Meeting ID: 722 363 460

One tap mobile: +19292056099,,722363460#

7:30pm-8:30pm ET

https://zoom.us/j/103816928

Meeting ID: 103 816 928

One tap mobile: +19292056099,,103816928#

Healthy Drinking Habits During Self Isolation: https://www.today.com/health/coronavirus-how-keep-drinking-alcohol-check-while-sheltering-place-t177166?fbclid=IwAR2aplaXzBJ-SHBvGRvJsU52XQBCdQAdKkoHGfBH0gtn28P3wq9EDRuCDhU

Smoking and Vaping and it's effects on Covid-19: https://www.winonacountyasap.org/smoking-vaping-and-covid-19/

Smoking and Vaping: https://www.justthinktwice.gov/facts/vaping-what-you-should-know?utm_medium=email&utm_source=govdelivery

E-cigs: http://fightflavoredecigs.org/tips-on-talking-to-your-kids/?eType=EmailBlastContent&eId=88cccfb9-b298-46be-aac6-54a9a45a7f2b

Mental Health and Wellness:

Managing Challenging Behaviors From Your Child: http://campaign.r20.constantcontact.com/render?m=1116006240262&ca=aade1199-e4ad-4eab-9c85-b58c16430c6a

The following agencies are providing virtual counseling:

High Focus Centers: https://highfocuscenters.pyramidhealthcarepa.com/

Gen Psych Center: https://genpsych.com/telehealth/

Good Grief: https://good-grief.org/schools/

Resources to Support Your Mental Health:

http://psychiatry.ucsf.edu/coronavirus?fbclid=IwAR2D24QV-Ogx_dsXn5hkAt_Jq0VftjBSY5_5Rei3Mii7LrnDuuFUmiQ3lNk

https://www.betheinfluence.us/post/tips-for-managing-stress-and-anxiety-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic

https://www.nami.org/covid-19-guide

Exercise, meditation and some good clean fun!!

Some humorous guided meditation to bring a smile to your face: https://www.gregberman.com/gregsguidedmeditation

Happiness Meditation (Guided Meditation for Positive Energy) ❤️

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz2ehfhmbcg

POSITIVE MORNING AFFIRMATIONS FOR ABUNDANCE AND SUCCESS (LISTEN EVERYDAY!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdMSviGsfL0

Exercise makes the heart work better!!

BEST 15 min Beginner Workout for Fat Burning (NO JUMPING HIIT!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bleOTMDa3_4

10 Minute Beginner Low Impact Cardio Workout For Fat Loss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H9qdpUzu4M&t=30s

10 Best YouTube Channels for a Full At Home Workout-

https://www.pastemagazine.com/health/fitness/the-10-best-fitness-youtube-channels/?amp

YouTube Channels That Will Give You a Killer Workout for Free-

https://www.thrillist.com/amphtml/health/nation/best-fitness-youtube-channels-for-bodyweight-workouts

Workout apps and YouTube channels for when you can't leave the house-

https://mashable.com/article/best-workout-apps-youtube-channels.amp