In the past, I tended to shy away from courses and extracurricular activities that fell outside my comfort zone. During my sophomore year at Mount Holyoke, there was an opening for junior web programmers at LITS, but I hesitated to apply. My reluctance stemmed from a belief that I lacked the necessary skills and experience to meet the expectations of the position, even though I had a moderate foundation in the pre-work required for the job. A part of me was eager to take on the opportunity because I believed it would be enjoyable and could enhance my programming skills. However, another part of me quickly dismissed those thoughts and brought me back to reality where I should think realistically.
Looking back, the so-called “realistic” thoughts were negative perceptions of myself where I had a constant pessimistic view of my abilities and potential for success. I won't deny that I regret letting my low self-efficacy get the best of me, as it may have caused me to miss out on some opportunities. However, acknowledging and confronting my low self-efficacy led to significant self-improvement. This awareness switched my perspective where I heightened a sense of self-efficacy. I now actively pursue opportunities, even when doubts about my capabilities linger, guided by the belief that you'll never know unless you try.
If I were to revisit this decision where I didn’t apply to be a junior web programmer, I would tell my sophomore self to stop thinking negatively about herself. I would tell my former self that everyone has different programming and experiences so she shouldn’t compare herself to others. Despite having only taken Introduction to Computer Science, she could self-learn the necessary coding language and concepts without any harm. Additionally, it would provide her with knowledge for upcoming Computer Science classes. As mentioned earlier, I'd stress the idea that "you'll never know unless you try." Even if she didn't secure the position, the important takeaway would be the experience gained from completing the pre-work for the application, as well as acknowledging the effort invested.