Social-Emotional Learning

A message from Connected Family Collective...

Helping Kids Build Emotional Resilience One Step at a Time

Resilience is a word we hear often in parenting circles. In a world where our children are exposed to so much potential trauma, we naturally want to raise kids who are capable of handling what comes their way--but this doesn't necessarily mean toughening them up. While resilience is sometimes defined as “toughness,” I see it more as the ability to navigate life's stressors with regulation, self-love, and the capacity to grow from experiences. We can teach them to remain open to vulnerability, while maintaining the grit and stamina we want them to have. 

Here are a few ways we can help set our children up to become more resilient humans:

1. Name Their Emotions: Teaching children to put words to their feelings helps regulate the nervous system, reduce overwhelm, and foster problem-solving. When children feel that we “get them”—when we notice and name the emotions they're experiencing—the parent-child bond deepens and strengthens.

2. Encourage a Growth Mindset: When children are given permission to make mistakes and learn from them, they develop confidence. They're better able to bounce back from hardship or “failure,” and they start to believe in their own ability to try again.

3. Model Positive Self-Talk: What our children hear us say—about them and about ourselves—becomes their inner voice. If we call them “shy,” “annoying,” or “not good at ___,” those words may stick. Instead, we can use open-ended affirmations like, “I love how hard she works when she has a goal.” And when we model positive self-talk for ourselves—“That didn't go how I wanted, but I'll try again after a break. I know I'll get it once I practice”—we show them what resilience looks like in action.

Resilience doesn't mean being tough all the time. It means teaching our kids that they can feel their feelings, make mistakes, learn, and try again—with love and support guiding them along the way.