As you near your completion of your undergraduate work, you are faced with saying goodbye to some relationships and/or finding ways to continue others. So consider the following healthy ways to say goodbye or inspire conversations about how to stay connected.
· Make time to talk in-person and tell any special people how important they have been to you.
· Take a moment to think about relationships you want to maintain post-graduation and let them know your interest.
· Plan a special time to gather as a group, like on a hike or a special meal.
· Buy a set of something (e.g. coffee mugs or t-shirts) as a gesture that you have all been connected.
· Write a card or note to special friends &/or faculty/staff telling them what you’ve gained from their friendship.
· Make something—e.g. buy some leather cord and beads, then make bracelets together.
· Share your post-Mac information--don’t assume that friends have it!
· Create special group social media accounts for post-Mac.
· Schedule time to group-brainstorm with your friends about ideas for saying goodbye and staying connected.
Spiritual/religious insight: Center for Religious and Spiritual Life, 651-696-6298; religiouslife@macalester.edu
Cultural/identity insight:
Department of Multicultural Life, 651-696-6243; dml@macalester.edu
Center for Religious and Spiritual Life, 651-696-6298; religiouslife@macalester.edu
Personal wellness insight: Laurie Hamre Center for Health and Wellness, 651-696-6275; health@macalester.edu
Students with disabilities insight: Disability Services, 651-696-6974; disabilityservices@macalester.edu
There are many interpersonal communication models, but one in particular—Nonviolent Communication, also known as Compassionate Communication—has a wonderful National (including Minnesota) as well as International system of trainings and local practice groups. Here is the link to find both Training & Practice Group locations:
· https://www.cnvc.org/trainings
· See NVC explained (10min) for good introduction to this communication model
Need structure to clarify your relationship thinking?—consider Inquiry questions
· www.thework.com –helps clarify thinking, especially about relationship conflict
~4 easy-to-remember questions to challenge any thoughts that cause you suffering
~video examples of real people doing this kind of work on relationships
~easy phone app that helps you challenge your thinking anytime, anywhere
~free phone line to process your thinking using the 4 questions
· A favorite tool for more effective communication is “Nonviolent Communication (NVC)--a.k.a. Compassionate Communication”
o NVC Communication App (Google)
o NVC Communication App (Apple)
Make time to talk face to face and tell special people how important they have been to you.
Think about which relationships you want to maintain post-graduation and let those people know you plan to keep in touch.
For a small group of friends: plan a special time to be together as a group like a Frisbee game, picnic, or pot luck.
For a small group of friends: buy a set of something (for example a tea set or a set of mugs) and give each friend one of the set, as a gesture that you have all been connected by this Mac experience.
Place a positive message about a friend in a small box. Give the box to your friend with the reminder that your positive thoughts will always be with them.
Write a card or note to special friends telling them what you've gained from their friendship.
For a group of friends: buy a length of simple leather cord and some beads. As a group cut the leather into bracelets for each group member, as a symbol of being connected by your experience.
Give a friend a small gift and tell them you will miss them after graduation
Email, text, Facebook, Twitter, etc. to friends with your post-Mac information (don't take for granted that they have it)!
Create special group social media accounts for post-Mac.
Who is important to you at Macalester?
How do you plan to say goodbye?
Compassion & Self-Compassion
Cultivating self-compassion and kindness toward yourself can be incredibly useful when dealing with feelings of overwhelm. Compassion can also help you develop deeper connections with others.
Connection
Creating deeper connections with those around you can improve both mental and physical health. Taking intentional actions toward increasing connection can be incredibly beneficial, especially when you may not be able to see your family and friends in person.
Utilize the Nod app for tips and tools to stay connected during COVID-19.
Podcast exploring how to stay close while physically distant
Be vulnerable by taking the How Are You Really? Challenge to connect with others and know you are not alone
Gratitude
Feeling thankful and appreciative of the kind, positive, and good things in and around us can have profound effects on our well-being and relationships.
Try writing a gratitude letter to someone you are grateful for
Loneliness
If you are feeling lonely, know that others around you are feeling the same way. In our most recent health survey, 85% of Macalester students reported having felt very lonely in the past 12 months (2019).
Resources for coping with loneliness:
Resources and information about a variety of mental health issues, including loneliness
Podcast exploring loneliness and solitude
Resources for exploring solitude:
Mindfulness and Meditation
Mindfulness is the ability to be fully present and aware of where we are and what we are doing. Meditation uses the ideas of mindfulness in an exploration of the workings of our minds: our sensations, our emotions, and our thoughts.
Self-Care
Self-care can be especially useful in times of stress and uncertainty. You can utilize self-care to check in with yourself and make sure you’re giving your mind and body the care and attention they deserve.