Identity

Identity Crisis

Amy Garcia ('24)

I grew up too fast.

The memories now nothing but fading with my past,

I wish I could go back and make my childhood last,

I grew up unknowingly wishing my life away,

But when did I ever begin to stray,

Can I even put my finger on the day I decided not to play?

Oh what I would do to make those moments stay.

Nicole Mezzatesta ('23)

—–———————–——————

You made me grow up

There since my eyes saw the world

And always been a thorn in my side

Your presence is like a drug

Make my life seem like a whirl

Now all I can do is sit here and bide

Life is isolating

Stole my friends and family

Without even a simple caution

The stress is just weighing

You are the opposite of lovely

This is worse than manipulation

Claire Petusky ('23)

To Cancer:

Isabella Wack ('23)

You took over the person I love

Made him feel sick and weak

Stripped my family of joy

Imposed anxiety and fear

The answer was never clear

You took over the person I love

Family nights were now spent in the hospital

Afraid to see what he would look like

“I’m fine,” I continue to say

Hoping to bury the pain you caused me away

You took over the person I love

I can’t help but compare

It just doesn’t seem fair

The lives of those you did not interrupt

But why did you come into mine and disrupt?

You took over the person I love

You are brutal and harsh

I can’t help but hate you

However, you will not win

My dad will fight with strength from within

A Search for Comfort

Emily Ryan ('24)

Compassion: A two-voice poem

Bridget Keyser ('23)

I see the day I see the day

that I am no longer

afraid to go to

school

that I am no longer

afraid to go

home

to face to face

my bully.

my insecurities.

I will walk

the halls with

no fear,

I will become

a better person

with compassion,

I will shed

not a single

tear.

I will keep

all the crude

actions.

I will learn I will learn

to forgive,

to apologize,

to stand up

for myself,

to surrender

my ego,

and most importantly and most importantly

I will learn I will learn

to love myself.

to love others.

"You're So Pretty!"

Megan Ryan (‘26)

I scroll through my phone,

Just like everyone else I know.

I see people dancing and singing,

Everyone putting on a big show.

What would happen if I didn’t have people to compare to?

I probably wouldn’t catch insecurities like the flu.

That girl has curly hair like me,

But she makes it look better times three.

That girl has a body like mine,

But she knows how to make it shine.

That girl has my nose,

But she looks as pretty as a rose.

That girl and I share a fashion sense,

But the pretty privilege gets intense.

That girl has my exact mannerisms,

But she can turn off the comments of criticism.

What would happen if I didn’t have people to compare to?

I feel bad for all the girls growing up this way.

But I’m going to continue to judge myself,

And tell others how pretty they are to make their day.

Gabriella Cuciniello ('26)

The Game

Allison Covone ('23)

With a loud crack of my skull and blood trickling down my neck, I feel the presence of my nemesis for the first time. I’m two years old, and all I wanted was to read Goodnight Moon before bed. I guess I decided to crawl over to the book basket and rocking chair at the wrong time, because as I reach for my favorite story, the ferocious ottoman creaks towards a very unaware me. I only realize what’s happening after the ottoman attacks.

This incident kept replaying in my brain for the next year, but I wasn’t focused on the part where my skull got split open. All I could think about was the taunting presence of Death as we drove to the emergency room to get stitches, and how he lingered around me until the moment they got removed. When my head had healed, I could no longer feel Death. I couldn’t explain why, but I was pleased with myself.

Death was not.

Unbeknownst to me, that was my first victory in an ongoing battle between my nemesis and I. Through unpredictable allergic reactions, hand sanitizer that I somehow swallowed, and heaps of other petty instances, Death kept trying to win just one round of this little game of ours. In twelve years, I’d gotten so good at avoiding the wild drivers he sent my way and sickenesses that would last eternities, I actually felt bad for him. I even wanted him to get just a little better, to make things more interesting.

Thinking like that was a major mistake.

I can tell Death has been planning this for a long time; he really outdid himself. Never in my entire life had he even come close to winning. It doesn’t feel real, yet here I am, getting told that my life is most likely over. There is not a single feeling in my body as the doctors frantically rush around to retake all my vitals. As if they’ll drastically change in three minutes. Tuning in and out, I hear fragments of conversations between the staff and my parents.

“...heart rate dropped to the 30s…very underweight…should have passed in her sleep by now…”

I’m only able to catch a single full sentence.

“If she isn't put on bedrest to begin recovery immediately, she’ll die of cardiac arrest within the week.”

I’ve never hated Death more. He is standing over my shoulder, laughing in my ear, gleeful about his long-awaited revenge. He knows his plan is perfect. He’s going to win. I’m sure of it.

Until I noticed that somehow, Death forgot about why I always beat him at our game. My victories aren’t the result of skill, or even dumb luck. The reason I beat him is because I won’t accept another option. So during the next month, I look Death in the eyes every day and tell him he’s going to lose. Somehow, he still acts shocked when it actually happens.

Now, three years later, I don’t blame him. If you were somehow able to get a hold of my medical records and really look at the facts, I should have died then, in my bedroom, once again not entirely aware of my fate. However, that ending doesn’t fit with my story.

Death never knew it, but my whole life, he’s been training me to handle anything that comes my way. Whether it’s small stresses or life altering obstacles, I’ll be ready. Because just like the game, life is entirely random, and you need to be able to adapt and overcome it. So I guess my point is that if anyone else wants to catch me off guard or make me give up, they’ll end up failing. Just like Death.

The Same, But Better

Anonymous

Every bone in my body

Trying to resist.

Now falling and trusting,

And finally a kiss.

Learning to love again

After you left my heart shattered.

He’s loving and wholesome,

And only thing that matters.

The same as you:

He “loves me more”,

Always hugging me goodbye

And waiting at my door.

The back of my mind

Screaming “run while you can”.

Forcing myself to stay

Knowing he’s a better man.

Pantoum Poem

Ryan Pelewski ('23)

Come and rescue me

I’ll be the lock and you’ll be the key

Come and rescue me

You’re the person that I need, you see

Come and rescue me

I’ve been stuck drowning in this depthless sea

Come and rescue me

Waves of loneliness and despair crashing over me

Come and rescue me

I won’t replace you, I’m not King Henry

Come and rescue me

Give me a chance to get on a knee

Come and rescue me

You’re the one, asked my friends and they all agree

Come and rescue me

But one thing I won’t do is plea:

Come and rescue me

Life

Anonymous

Life

Cut short

By the blade

Found drowned

By the lapis lake

In the town of wealth

For simply to steal more

But caught in the frugal act

Thrust into the golden chest

As to do away with the eyes

That would report the deed

And to claim untold riches

Now soaked in the gutted

Blood

Of the unlucky

Man

Who just so happened to

Have a house near a gutter

To make the perfect getaway

Until sirens expectedly blare

And the sword now named

Evidence

Smells

Of violence

Toss away your Evidence

So the would-be Robin Hood

May return again for more

On another, darkened day

Found soaking wet

Retrieved from sea

Evidence is claimed

By the enforcement

Identifying the man

Who committed one

Unholy act this night

Ulterior Exterior

Emily Ryan ('24)

—–———————–———————–—————

Falling

Anonymous

I’m afraid of falling.

Falling out of a tree, falling off a bike, falling in love.

Take as u will, but the truth behind it all is I’m not afraid of falling,

I'm afraid of getting hurt.

Trusting people enough to the point where they are the last piece of thread keeping you from falling is so difficult when you only remember the falls from before.

The fall itself makes you think of all the possible outcomes, when you’ve gotten to the point where you immediately jump to the worst outcome is how you know you’ve fallen too many times and you don’t think you can get back up.

We all fall, little falls, big falls, emotional falls, but you need to find that one person that is there to catch you or at least pick you back up. The person that helps you not be so afraid to fall.

National “Poem in Your Pocket” Day

Ms. Brady

You said to find a poem and put it in

Your pocket

Empty, private, hidden,

Closer to skin and soul

Where words will wear

The worn interior of wild

Wayward threads

Mixing with dust and

Change, loose

Pens running out of ink

Tangible, yet restricted,

Available, but constricted,

No one will bother to ask.

Basement of Tolentine, 6am,

Deadline, debauchery, my threads

Unraveled. I let the scraps fall.

“Quando ero bambina…”

You reminded me.

You always reminded me.

I took your words and made them my own.

I carried them with me,

In a dozen years, in a dozen ways,

These pockets of forgotten wisdom

Sent through the wash,

Wailing, waiting to be awakened.

My Grandfathers

Amy Garcia ('24)

The Voices

Emily Ryan ('24)

The Lies You Tell

Emilie O'Connor ('24)

Four years of memories,

Burned without warning.

The love, all ours,

The scars, the mourning.

The broken trust,

And the lack of a farewell.

All of it destroyed

By the vicious lies you tell.

“You and me always,

Even with the distance”.

“I promise, I’ll visit in September”.

Now our bond: nonexistent.

Everything I gave up for you,

The distance that I fell.

A golden reputation tarnished

By the reckless lies you tell.

Now I rebuild,

I bury the past.

I do anything, everything,

To move on - and fast.

But there’s you - imprinted on my heart,

Holding me back.

Scared to love;

Scared to crack.

Feeling you forever.

But not wanting to dwell.

Still hating you,

For every lie you tell.

My Monsters

Anonymous

I’m not afraid of the monsters under the bed,

Nor the ones that follow me up the stairs in the dark.

Not the ones that live in the swamps,

or the ones in unknown places.

Instead the ones that live among me,

Right next to me as if nothing was wrong.

I’m not afraid of the shape shifting monsters,

but rather the monsters that shift themselves around different people.

The monsters that act like they are there to support you but end up stabbing you in the back.

Those are the scariest monsters; you feel like you can trust them,

But in reality they are just there to collect information to feed back to the army they are about to bring down on you.

The monsters that turn people against you behind your back when you have done nothing wrong.

Those are the scariest monsters, they make you wonder who you can trust.

All of those other monsters are imaginary,

but my monsters are real.

Kenwar Johnson ('24)

The Car

Sarah Fernandez ('23)

Maze

Anonymous

I look around the room and see,

Everyone except for me.

My mind is a maze, and these days

It feels like there’s no way out.

I start to doubt.

Will I ever get out?

Going in circles, feeling dizzy,

Lately I’ve been too busy.

Stressed out,

I start to shout.

Yet I must stay hushed,

Aware I’m getting flushed.

Will it all take over?

Is this the push over?

Darkness creeps along the edge,

But there is a wedge, it stops me from total decline.

I take a step back from the line.

Breathe.

Thoughts of fantasy,

Wander through my mind absently.

A false reality better than the true one,

I see the midnight sun.

My mind is a maze,

Everything is in a haze.

Still searching for the real me,

Don’t know if I’ll ever be free.

The Stages of a Breakup

Anonymous

“You shouldn’t miss him”

I know I shouldn’t

I know I should be more happy than ever

I know I should have relief, being free from the chains of anxiety and nervousness that I was constantly constrained to

I should wake up each morning gleaming with joy, knowing that I can focus on myself without having to worry about how he’s doing

I know I should find peace with myself now that there isn’t anything to worry about anymore

I know I should feel empowered to focus on myself and chase after passions I never previously had time for

But I don’t

That's the funny thing about breakups

You don’t exactly feel it right away

What felt like a glorious championship win after a terrible basketball season quickly faded into what felt like getting rejected from a job offer after multiple interviews

So when will the feeling fade?

The answer is unknown

The healing process is not linear, it is one built on a variety of highs and lows

But my constant reminder to myself is that

If you weren’t happy during it

And you aren’t happy after it

Than maybe the relationship was not the problem

Fitting In

Elizabeth Roberts ('23)

Everyone wants to be

Someone else.

Humans strive for perfection,

An impossible goal.

So we settle for less

We settle for simply fitting in.

Why do we change

ourselves for others?

Walking down the halls

Everyone is the same.

Like faux leather;

Real and genuine on the outside

Fake on the inside.

Why are we afraid

When we can’t fit in?

We weren’t created uniquely

Just to be like everyone else.

They say “don’t judge a book by its cover”

So we judge people instead.

At the end of the day,

No one will remember

Who went to what party

Or what you wore to school.

So why are we afraid

To be ourselves?

Why do we spend

Our precious time

Hopping on trends

And posing for others to see?

Why do we spend our time

Trying to be someone else?

you don't realize

Caroline Alegado ('23)

you don’t realize the power you hold over me, over my heart

the power that i kept locked away to avoid pain like this

the power that’s been safely guarded behind the walls i put up until somehow you came along and in a few short hours, shattered the walls entirely

i’ve feared this pain so i refused to feel

but you flirted and facetimed and forced your way into every aspect of my life

and i fell

and as scary as that was for me

i loved it

i loved you

and i guess that’s where i went wrong

because as this pen quivers in my hand

and a tear splashes on my page

i know you’re with someone else

without a thought to me while you’re all that’s in my head

i hate you

i love you

i hate that you make me love you then make me hate me when i love you

because how could i

how could the girl with the guarded heart have been so stupid to let it down for you

for the guy that loves widely but not deeply

who’s touched every girl’s heart

but left each of them with only memories in absence of the warm feeling of fingertips on skin

left each girl wondering if the best week of her life

was worth a lifetime of what if’s and missing him

𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞

𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐚𝐬𝐭

𝐑𝐨𝐨𝐭𝐬

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐟𝐟