Chapter 2

Excuse us a moment, but now we have to take a break from Bob and Leah’s emergency to explain two things about Bob. You already know he is not a human. He’s an alien on a mission to earth. What you don’t know is Bob can think at super fast and he has been alive an extremely long time.

When Bob heard the computer say the word “Earth”, it reminded him of a time thousands of years ago, when he visited the planet.

Bob’s memory flashed through his mind in only 2.3 seconds, but it’s a little longer when we type it out. Take a moment to read his thoughts exactly as he thought them.

The creature towered above me. It looked like a lizard, but its head was bigger than I’d expect. And it stood on its back legs. The front legs were very small and they dangled nearly useless. Its tail was as wide as a tree and it flicked and waved about behind it.

But yeah, those teeth! They quickly reminded me to stop describing the local wildlife. I ducked to the side, fast as lightning, just as the beast tried to swallow me in a single gulp. When the mouth slammed shut beside me, I took fast aim with my phaser and pulled the trigger.

It was then I realized the best ray beam blasters from Robahar are worthless for fighting giant lizards on Earth. The pistol shot out the glowing blast of light like I expected and it even hit the monster right in the jaw where I aimed. But it did nothing more than make its face a little brighter.

The lizard blinked twice and tipped its head. Then a long growl started deep inside.

Yeah, there I stood, a living lunch, shining a toy flashlight into the angry eyes of a ferocious monster.

So then I got the idea to try to be funny. Not hilarious, mind you. I just thought it might be a good time to say something goofy to see if the huge lizard could experience humor instead of just pure rage.

“Ha ha,” I laughed. The low growl from its throat went silent. Maybe it was working! I changed my voice a little and acted like my six elbows and 24 fingers weren’t trembling with fear.

“Ha, did you think I was going to shoot you with this thing? No, no, no,” I carried on with a chuckle. “See I’m a traveling sales alien from the planet of Robahar. I wanted to show you this handy flashlight pistol.” I held it up to his squinty green eye.

“Do you ever misplace your yummy snacks in your dark cave? Turn on this beauty and it will light up--”

KER-SNAP!!! The jaws closed an inch from my face. Before I could think, all my arms were running. I darted and turned past trees and large rocks. I threw stones at it, jumped logs and ducked under big branches

But every time I dared to look behind me, I saw only the large mouth drawing closer and closer. Just when I was so tired I thought I’d collapse, I remembered my phaser. Maybe that ray beam was useless, but what about the fossil setting? Normally it turns any target into stone. It was my last hope.

I nearly dropped the pistol, as I fumbled to flip the control switch. When I felt it click, I instantly spun around and raised the phaser. The beast slowed up in surprise.

“You tried hard, lizard,” I said with a grin. It opened its gigantic jaws wide as it came toward me. “Let me help you try HARDER.”

I pulled the trigger and the blue fossil ray blasted toward the creature.

At first it kept coming, so I threw the pistol in defense. The beast snapped it up in his jaws. Just as I braced myself for its attack, I noticed its legs were growing stiff. It was working! First the legs, then the tail, then up its body. The lizard was turning to stone! With a roar it raised its head, opened its mouth wide, then froze into a harmless, but fearsome statue.