parent/carer support

Challenges 

If you are experiencing difficulties with your mental health and wellbeing, this may present additional challenges as a parent/carer:

• Coping with the everyday challenges of parenting. A mental health problem can make the day-to-day challenges of parenting feel harder. For example, anxiety may make you more easily worried. Or depression may mean that you have low energy. You may also experience side effects from medications, such as tiredness. You might also find it more difficult to maintain a routine.

• You may worry about how your mental health could affect your child. For example, whether they may experience stress or mental health problems themselves. Your child may also be impacted if they take on extra responsibilities around the home to help you. For example, they might have to change when they do their schoolwork. Or the amount of time they have to see their friends.

• Dealing with other people's negative ideas about mental health problems. For example, people may judge your parenting abilities because you have a mental health problem. Or your child may be bullied or teased. 

• Finding it harder to seek help. You may feel worried about asking for help in case people see you as a less capable parent. You may put pressure on yourself to cope for longer than you're able to. 

• Being unable to work because of your mental health problem. You may worry about how to provide for your children financially. 

• You may worry about your child having to go into care. Especially if you're finding your usual parenting responsibilities difficult. Or if you have to go into hospital. See our section on when children might get taken into care to find out more. 

How you can take care of yourself

As can be seen with the challenges outlined above, being a parent with a mental health or wellbeing problem can be difficult. However, there are things that you can do to support your own wellbeing:

Build a support network

• Try thinking of one or two people who you’d feel comfortable asking for emotional and practical support. This might be a friend or a family member. Or someone else that you and your children trust.

• If you’re finding it hard to cope and need support, let people know as early as you can. Try not to wait until you feel like you’re in crisis.

• You could try writing down how you might behave when you’re feeling unwell. It might be helpful to show this to people in your support network. They could help to spot the signs that you’re finding it hard to cope.

• Ask for help with practical tasks. For example, childcare, transport and cooking meals. It might help to write down your family routines so that anyone supporting you can keep things consistent.

• If you're employed, talk to your employer and see if they offer flexible working arrangements. For example, flexible hours. This might help you manage the demands of working while parenting. See our pages on work and mental health for more tips.

Prepare for a crisis

• Some people can identify clear patterns in their mental health. Other people may find it less predictable. But noticing what increases your distress can help you prepare for a crisis. It may help to make a note of your triggers on paper or on your phone.

• You could make plans for getting extra practical support when you’re feeling very stressed. Reducing your sense of responsibility may help ease your distress.

• Talk to the people closest to you about how you would prefer to manage a crisis. This may even prevent a crisis from happening.

Look after yourself

It can be easy to forget about looking after yourself when you have children. But taking time to help yourself is important. It can stop some problems from developing or getting worse.

Everyone has different ways of looking after themselves. That’s ok. But these are some ideas that might help:

• If you’re short on time, think about ways you can still engage in things that you enjoy while parenting. For example, if you enjoy reading, you could listen to an audiobook while you’re doing other things.

• Some parents find that trying to maintain routines can be helpful. For example, with sleeping and exercise. Try to start small. If you want to exercise more, schedule in a small walk each day and build this up over time.

• If you have access to childcare, try using some of the time to focus on things that make you feel good. For example, you could book an appointment to get your hair cut. Or try to spend some time in a green space.

Accessing support

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