Let's say you finally had that realization that you don't owe anyone anything. It is such a simple saying that almost everyone knows, but not everyone necessarily lives by. Maybe you pride yourself on the fact that you do live by those five words, but how often do you truly apply it to every aspect of your life. Emma Chamberlain, in an episode of Anything Goes with Emma Chamberlain, talks about the morality surrounding ignoring texts.
In this specific episode, Chamberlain addresses the idea that you can't be available to someone at all times, but you also cannot expect someone else to be available to you 24/7. From her perspective, the reason we are constantly being expected to be available all the time is because everyone always has their phone on them in one way or another; whether you are wearing an Apple Watch, or your phone is connected to your laptop, if someone sends a text, it most likely is going to reach you. It creates the ideal that if you are close enough with someone that they have your phone number, we must owe them a reply. For Emma personally, she explains it feels morally incorrect to not respond, because it is expected of her.
I think that if you don’t feel a response is necessary, you shouldn’t feel that guilt for not answering. I was drawn to this episode specifically because I often feel, in certain situations, a text I receive doesn’t always warrant a response. However, I think that this put into perspective that I have to keep the same expectations for others as I do for myself. By not owing anyone anything, I don’t think that means you should consistently ignore texts that you receive, but I also don’t think you should feel like you owe every minute of your time to responding to texts. Communication is something that healthy relationships strive on, but I have found that communicating over text does more harm than good because you feel protected. Those hard conversations are often the ones that make or break the strength of a relationship; the ability to hide behind a screen to have those deeper conversations carries more harsh emotions that wouldn’t necessarily be present for an in person conversation. I think the many different aspects that tie into the morality of ignoring texts, highlight both a person’s own values, but how willing one is to make a change for the better of themselves. Ignoring a text that you have no reason to respond to is something so small, but I think could benefit one’s sense of self, rather than feeling like you are constantly giving your time to someone else.