Ever ghosted someone because the situation felt way too awkward? You’re definitely not alone—studies suggest that over half of teens have ghosted someone before. It’s super common, but that doesn’t mean it’s the best move.

Learning to feel comfortable, in the uncomfortable is where personal growth happens. When younger you wanted to ask a server to change your order, it may have felt *’traumatizing’, but the older, wiser you knows it’s ‘no big deal’.

When we dodge uncomfortable stuff, we’re telling our brain it's dangerous & then we start treating basic awkwardness like a major threat; avoidance feeds anxiety. Ghosting can feel like a quick escape, but over time it may lead to more avoidance, guilt, stress, low self-esteem & unhealthy relationships.

Why do we ghost?

Usually, fear or anxiety takes the steering wheel. Fear says, “Run.” Anxiety says, “Avoid it.” Shame says, “Shut down.” Poofing out of existence gives you quick relief, but it teaches us to dodge conflict - instead of learning how to handle tough stuff & build healthy relationships.

For seniors contemplating Psychology majors or those interested in how our minds work:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.”

—Carl Jung

Between a trigger (something that makes us sad, angry…) and your response (ghosting) there can be a space, a pause. That pause is your power to choose your next move instead of going with a knee-jerk reaction.

 —Inspired by Viktor E. Frankl (psychiatrist & Holocaust survivor)

So how to level up when feeling triggered? First PAUSE before you react.

Before you hit block, delete… take a breath, a quick self-check, "What am I avoiding or afraid of? Are we kind, compassionate & able to deal with hard stuff?” Everyone has fears and messy feelings they would rather avoid, but practise dealing with hard stuff makes us stronger.

Ghosting might soften discomfort, but honest reflection helps us face the truth and see people as more than a harmful, faulty, insulting label (*toxic, *narcissist, *delulu…). The small pause gives you control over your next move, so you can be the best version of yourself. Then choose calm, kind communication with ourselves & others.

Not all relationships are meant to be, but how we end a relationship, speaks about who we are. Kindness keeps us human—and helps us handle real-life awkwardness without disappearing.

Hard conversations build skills that carry into other relationship. Avoid them, and our connections stay shallow. Face them with honesty and respect, and we grow stronger. So when things get tough, do not ghost—pause, talk, and choose growth.

*If you are genuinely feeling unsafe with someone then it's best to talk to a professional such as a counsellor, or a teacher or parent. 

*Be safe & kind & avoid labelling people.

*The misuse & stickiness" of a social label trivializes the deeply debilitating, real-world challenges faced by those who actually live with these conditions. Avoid casually tossing around terms like "PTSD" "bipolar," "OCD", "narcissist"…

Maureen Parker * Registered Clinical Counsellor

1. GET INVOLVED in clubs, activities, sports, etc.

2. Set specific, realistic GOALS: 

   • Break down big goals into actionable smaller REALISTIC steps; COMMIT to WORKING HARD!

3. POSITIVE, GROWTH MINDSET

   • Stretch your comfort zone & learn from setbacks. Perfection is not realistic.

4. TIME MANAGEMENT – PLAN AHEAD;  ORGANIZE. Set up a STUDY AREA.

   •  Bring what you need to class & bring home notebooks, texts, pens, calculator. Take good notes

5. Set up a SCHEDULE /CALENDAR

   • Consciously schedule time! Identify things that distract you (eliminate or decrease). Use planners, wall calendars, or app (Todoist  Microsoft To Do. Calendly  iStudiez Pro myHomework Power Planner.ClickUp)  

   • *See a counsellor to help with time management & stress

   • See homework as a priority; decide how much time you are willing to allot for homework & studying; effort correlates to success. *don’t let procrastination tell you that avoiding is a good thing

6. SLEEP, HEALTHY EATING, EXERCISE, HEALTHY SOCIAL LIFE (limit screen time)

7. PAUSE to make smart decisions. Don’t put anything on SOCIAL MEDIA that is potentially embarrassing, harmful or mean (grandma check). 

8. UTILIZE SUPPORT early before falling behind. 

   • Teachers, Grade Level Advisers, tutorials or tutors can help with academics 

9. Manage ANXIETY & STRESS by giving your nervous system tiny "safety signals" throughout the day (build calm-under-pressure, resilience).

Physiological Sigh: Deep breath through your nose, followed by long, slow exhale out your mouth

Simple stretches or “Shake it off": Shrug your shoulders, roll your neck, stretch or shake it off to physically release trapped adrenaline and tension.

Sensory grounding: Look around & name objects to bring your mind back to the present or think of a person, place or thing that brings you comfort (in as much detail as possible).

Panoramic Vision: Keep your head still and slowly sweep your eyes side to side. Widening your view signals to your brain that you're safe and out of danger.

Hum a low tune for a few seconds. The vibrations in your throat activate your vagus nerve to kick off your body's "rest" mode.

Appreciate something / someone in your life

Small daily habits add up to calm & resilience because your nervous system loves small, consistent signals that it’s safe!

10. COUNSELLORS can help with emotional (anxiety…) or social issues & work with you on skills to help you succeed both academically & emotionally.

11. Be the best version of yourself & good vibes to your peers, your teachers, your parents… !