Whenever you write, it is important to remember that somebody will read your writing. This seems a very obvious point to make, but it is surprisingly easy to forget. And when you do forget, it is easy to write something that is really boring, and something that you would never say to another person if you were speaking to them. So, we want to keep our readers interested.
This is especially important when you are writing the details part of a paragraph. On this page we will look at how you can write details that are interesting to your reader.
Let's first look at what might go wrong with writing details in a paragraph:
One: Not writing details at all
I have seen some students simply restate their supporting ideas when they should be writing details. Here's an example (underlined):
First, an ideal community should have safe streets. If the streets are safe, they community will be much better.
This is bad because it wastes the reader's time. The second sentence is just a repetition of the first one.
Two: Writing boring, general details
A more common problem is students thinking "Oh, I just need to write SOMETHING here. It doesn't really matter what it is." This often leads to writing details that the reader could easily think of themselves, which makes your writing rather boring to read. Here's an example on the same theme as the previous one (again underlined).
First, an ideal community should have safe streets. For example, the local government should install streetlights and CCTV cameras to reduce crime.
Again, the second sentence is a bit of a waste of the reader's (and writer's) time. While they are relevant examples of how to make streets safer, streetlights and CCTV were the first two examples that I could think of, and I'm sure the same is true for most of you. So nobody has really learned anything from this sentence that they didn't know already.
Now, let's look at how you can be more interesting.
We can break down what you need to do into two parts: examples, and explaining.
For giving examples, the best thing you can do is try to choose examples that reader can't easily imagine themselves. You can do this by using your own experiences, either direct (you were actually there) or indirect (you read or heard about it or watched it).
As you write it, remember that you have the experience in your head but the reader doesn't, so you need to tell them enough for them to recreate it in their imagination. And, you need to tell them the specifics of your experience, so that they don't just imagine a boring, generic experience.
Then, you need to show you can think about your examples by explaining how they connect to your ideas. Again, this will be much more interesting if you can discuss the specifics of your idea.
I wrote the paragraph below on the Paragraph Basics page. But now I look again, it is not very interesting. Read it first and see if you can see why.
My two greatest fears are psychological ones: darkness and heights. First, the scariest fear is being in total darkness. When the lights are off, my imagination starts to run wild and imagine things that are not there. For example, I start to imagine wild animals might be in the room with me. This is much scarier than anything real. Second, another great fear is heights, but specifically being close to edges. Again my imagination goes wild imagining falling and I get a strange desire to jump off from high places. Strangely, I am not scared on mountains or when flying. In conclusion, things that make me jump, like scary movies, don't scare me; my imagination does.
Did you get it? Look at the examples I used: wild animals, mountains. This could be anyone, not just me! And because my examples are boring, my explanations are short and rather boring too. Let's try to improve things. I have underlined what I changed.
My two greatest fears are psychological ones: darkness and heights. First, the scariest fear is being in total darkness. When the lights are off, my imagination starts to run wild and imagine things that are not there. For example, when I was six, I started to believe there was a scorpion in bed with me. I felt I could hear it rustling under the bedclothes, coming closer and closer to my ankle. Finally, I thought I even felt a touch. I screamed, jumped out of bed, and turned on the light. Of course, there was nothing there, but the darkness helped my mind imagine that there was. This is why it is scary, because I can never predict what my mind will do. Second, another great fear of mine is heights, but specifically being close to edges. Another time, I was at the Eiffel tower. I looked over the rail and saw the people looking like ants below. I imagined jumping over the barrier and seeing them get larger and larger until I crashed into the ground. When I came back to reality, I had even lifted up my foot to start climbing. That's why I don't go near edges any more! In conclusion, things that make me jump, like scary movies, don't scare me; my imagination does.
Now I think this paragraph is much better. You can really experience what I experienced, and it gives me a bit more to explain too. Try this in your own paragraphs.