Mental Health Resources
Helpful Websites:
Anxiety Canada -https://www.anxietycanada.com/
KidsHelpPhone https://kidshelpphone.ca/ is an awesome resource that, because of COVID, are working with kids, teens, and adults. They have a program where you can text for support if you are less comfortable with calling.
Loss & Grief
Grief is ... "a reaction to any form of loss... [that] encompass a range of feelings from deep sadness to anger, and the process of adapting to a significant loss can vary dramatically from one person to another, depending on his/her/their background, beliefs, relationship to what was lost, and other factors." (Mastrangelo & Wood, 2006).
What helps after the death of a friend?
[ Taken from: http://griefspeaks.com/id89.html ]
Find a safe and trusted adult to share with
Talk to your friends and let them know what you need (to talk about it, not to talk about it, to spend time with you or let you have some privacy)
Find helpful vents for your feelings (exercise, crying, writing in a journal, writing memories to the family, make a memory box or memory book, get involved with a cause, art, music, nature, yoga, prayer, meditation, kick boxing, spending time with friends, punching a punching bag, squeezing Play Doh, ripping up old phone books, starting a support group at school
Ask the family for a keepsake (a stuffed animal, a shirt, a cd or book, a photo). This can help you/friends feel close to the person who died.
Keep a journal. Write to the friend who died. Write to the family. Write anything and everything. You can keep it in your journal or rip it up, shred it, burn it, tie a note to a bio-degradable helium balloon and send it up into the air. Read the letter to a trusted adult or counsellor.
This may also help:
Attend the wake, visitation, shiva or funeral if you are able. (Rituals allow us to honor and memorialize someone who has died. It may be difficult to attend but participating in such an event will help you acknowledge the loss and begin to reconcile yourself to it).
There are 6 Needs of Mourning (Grief is what you think and feel inside. Mourning is expressing your grief. It is letting it out. Everyone grieves, but only those who mourn can heal and continue to live and love fully again.)
1. Accepting the reality of the death
2. Allowing yourself to feel the pain of the loss (it is so much more tempting to avoid, repress, deny or push away the pain of the grief, than it is to confront it. Dose your pain. Let a little bit out at a time. Writing helps a lot.)
3. Remembering the person who died (in whatever way feels right for you)
4. Developing a new self-identity (the way you and society defines you has changed perhaps - adapting to a new normal)
5. Search for meaning (it is normal to question the meaning of life and death. Talking to adults about this may help too).
6. Let others help you, now and always (as a teen it is normal to want to keep adults at a distance. Grief is not an "on your own" kind of task to deal with. It is the hardest work that anyone ever has to deal with. Talk to adults who care about you, or let them talk to you. Join a support group, mail your thoughts to a caring adult helps too. Talk to your friends.)
Helpful strategies:
Use the name of the person who died. (Don't avoid their name. It is good to say it out loud).
Keep a journal
Keep a memento of the person who died
Get plenty of rest, water and exercise
Let go of the myths of grief: Myths include: get over it, be strong, don't talk about it, tears are weakness, grieve alone
These myths are not true. They are harmful thoughts that some adults even believe. Grief is normal and natural. Allow it to come as it comes. No two people grieve in the exact same way. Talk about it if that helps.
Cry
Laugh and have fun
Allow yourself to grieve even if it was expected as in a lengthy illness. We are never really prepared for the death of a loved one.
Raise money to find a cure for the disease that took your friend's life.
Find constructive ways to release your anger
Make a Scream Box (see page on making a scream box on home page of Grief Speaks.com)
Let your pet comfort you or visit a friend who has a pet.
Volunteer
Do something the person who died liked to do.
Listen to music
Pour yourself into life, "Carpe diem" Seize the day
Read books that help
Be prepared for 'grief bursts' : when it hits you suddenly all over again, but not for as long, like if you hear his/her favorite song, see someone that resembles your friend, smell their favorite cologne or perfume, etc.
Honoring the person:
Write goodbye letters and read them at the grave, site of the ashes, and/or a special place.
Light candles and share memories of the deceased
Spread the person's favorite fragrance on a favorite site and talk about the person
Creatively organize memories into scrapbooks, photo albums, videos and journals
Revisit places/and or create rituals of remembrance and respect at a special place.
Create art forms, paintings, collages, or drawings
Write music, prose or poetry
Allow teens to express their grief privately or publicly
Remember the person on special days like their birthday and date of death, and other special days. Plan to do something that brings comfort to you.
GROUNDING
Grounding is a particular type of coping strategy that is designed to "ground" you in, or immediately connect you with, the present moment. Grounding is often used as a way of coping with flashbacks or dissociation when you have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or Anxiety.
Strategies to try:
The 54321 Grounding Method for Anxiety Attacks
The most common grounding technique for anxiety attacks is the 54321 method. In this, you identify…
5 things you can see
4 things you can feel
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
or...you can name 5 things you like about yourself, 5 things you like about others etc.
Talk Yourself through the Anxiety Attack
Another form of grounding involves self-therapy. When you feel the anxiety attack coming on, talk to yourself (either out oud or in your head). Tell yourself that you are having an anxiety attack and that it is going to be OK. You have gone through this before, and you can get through it again. You are strong enough to handle your emotions, and the anxiety attack will not last long. Keep repeating these positive statements until you feel yourself calming down.
Play a Game with Yourself
You could get your mind off the anxiety attack by playing a quick game. Ask yourself a question that has several answers:
Name as many states as you can
Name as many dog breeds as you can
Name as many cities as you can
Recite the alphabet backwards
Practice simple times tables
The Grounding Chair
Close your eyes and focus on your breath. Breathe in slowly for the count of three, then out slowly. Bring your mind's focus to your body. ... Next push your feet into the ground, imagine the energy draining down from your mind, down through your body and out through your feet into the ground
MINDFULNESS
What is Mindfulness? Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you're sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress.
Mindfulness Techniques to try:
Five Things: Taking time to intentionally observe the world around you and notice things you would normally overlook helps the brain sort through distracting or stressful thoughts.
Music Appreciation: Put on a calm piece of music, and see how many different instruments you can hear.
Heartbeat Counting: For one minute, hold a hand to your chest and observe how your heartbeat and breathing feel. This helps you notice the rhythm of your own body and set aside the stress of living for the future.
Deep Breathing: While this might sound extremely simple, one of the best parts about mindfulness is that it can be simple if you want it to be. Breathing in and out slowly and deeply while noticing things you hear or feel is one of the most common ways to destress and reset after a long day or event.
Mindfulness Walk: Have a walk around the neighborhood or even in the driveway, while carefully listening for as many sounds as they can hear.
Sorting Thoughts: Sort the thoughts into categories of things are facts/known, and things that are opinions or possibilities. This can help them decide how much attention to pay to various thoughts, and gives them a way to talk to themselves when thoughts that are not facts arise – “I’m worried that I won’t be prepared for next year, but that is not a fact and I can keep doing my work right now.”
COPING STRATEGIES
Practicing meditation and relaxation techniques;
Having time to yourself;
Engaging in physical activity or exercise;
Reading;
Spending time with friends;
Finding humor;
Spending time on your hobbies;
Engaging in spirituality;
Watching a funny video or movie;
Listening to positive music;
Journaling, Writing, Poetry;
Drawing, Painting, Clay & any Art Activities;