I too was in the NICU! Here's my story.
Preterm Birth & NICU Course (Sloane, Twin B)
Patient/Subject: Sloane (twin, brother co-twin)
Gestational Age at Birth: 36 weeks (4 weeks early)
Birth Weight: 4 lbs 1 oz (1.85 kg)
Section 1: Pre-Admission Event (Maternal Appointment)
Mother presented for a routine high-risk pregnancy monitoring visit (frequency of visits exceeded that of a singleton pregnancy due to high-risk status).
During a non-stress test (lying down, mother on vacation time from work), a sudden deceleration in Sloane’s heart rate was detected.
Though 4 weeks early, mother had pre-packed a hospital bag, which was already in the vehicle.
Section 2: Delivery & Immediate Postpartum
Father, working in investment banking, had completed an overnight shift and arrived home at 9:00 AM the morning of the event. Mother called him directly from the appointment to come to the hospital.
Mother was transported directly to the operating room and prepped for an emergency cesarean section.
Immediate post-birth contact: 2 minutes of maternal holding permitted for both twins before transfer to the NICU.
Mother was later wheeled into the NICU to see Sloane.
Section 3: NICU Course (Duration: 4 weeks)
Primary diagnoses upon admission:
Respiratory distress (difficulty breathing)
Jaundice (hyperbilirubinemia)
Episodic hypotension (frequent loss of blood pressure)
Apnea of prematurity with bradycardia (Sloane would fall asleep and “forget” to maintain heart rate; required physical startle/stimulation to resume normal cardiac rhythm)
Section 4: Discharge
Discharge weight: 6 lbs (approx. 2.72 kg)
Length of NICU stay: 4 weeks
"Jaundice is the yellowing of the skin and eyes caused by high bilirubin levels (hyperbilirubinemia) in the blood, indicating underlying issues with the liver, gallbladder, or red blood cell breakdown."
Episodic hypotension
"Episodic hypotension in babies, particularly newborns and preemies, is a temporary, severe drop in blood pressure often caused by sepsis, immaturity, or blood loss"
"Sleep apnea is a common, serious disorder where breathing repeatedly stops and starts during sleep, causing loud snoring, daytime fatigue, and low blood oxygen levels."
Respiratory distress
"Respiratory distress in babies is a serious condition requiring immediate medical attention, characterized by rapid breathing (>60 breaths/min), grunting noises, nasal flaring, and chest retractions (skin pulling in between ribs)."
When twins are born and one is stable enough to go home while the other remains in the NICU for a month, what should be a joyful transition can feel incomplete and emotionally divided.
Ethically, doctors follow beneficence. This means doing what’s best for each baby medically, even if it means separating them, but this can conflict with emotional well-being and early bonding between the twins but also the parents. From a psychological perspective, attachment theory shows that consistent caregiver contact helps build secure attachment, so the NICU twin may experience less continuous bonding. Biologically, that baby may also face more stress exposure, activating the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, which affects early stress regulation, while the twin at home benefits from more typical sensory interaction. This creates an unavoidable imbalance, raising ethical questions about how hospitals can better support both infants’ emotional and developmental needs alongside survival.