Rules for Open Communication

Both parties state their problems

• Use “I” statements

• Indicate willingness to help resolve the problem

• No zapping (cutting them off)

• Stay in the present and future

• Stick to the topic at hand.

Hear the other party out

• Don’t interrupt

• Acknowledge his or her viewpoint

• Restate what you’ve heard

• Offer an apology if appropriate

• Ask clarifying questions

• Use silence

Look for areas of agreement

• Point out general interests you have in common

• Make an optimistic statement

Request behavior changes only

• If your request is for the person to stop “doing” something, tell him or her what to do instead. Specify the frequency, time, and place of the desired behavior.

Make sure you walk your talk

• Be consistent with verbal and nonverbal messages

• Rely more on words when communicating negative feelings.

• Use an even, conversational tone.,

• Show confidence

• Use humor – when appropriate.

Afraid of confronting someone? You’re not the only one! There is something you can do!

• Think “power with” not power over – it will guarantee your attitude will be one that invites resolution

• Realize that what’s happening isn’t meeting your interests. It’s worth trying something new.

• Plan your discussion – especially your opening

• Keep your goal in mind. Have notes on hand, if needed