Creating a Culture of Consent for Online Identities

Christine Elgersma

Senior Editor, Learning Content Strategy, Common Sense Media

Earlier this year, we had a themed costume party for a family member's birthday. As I clocked phones out everywhere, I had one of those "work meets personal life" moments: People were taking pictures and videos and posting them in real time. Of course, everyone there was friends and family with good intentions, having fun. But the digital citizen in me was acutely aware of how far and wide digital trails of all of us (dancing to "Push It" by Salt-N-Pepa in Prohibition-era costumes) were stretching in every direction—without expressed consent. 🕺🏻😊

I wasn't worried, but it did make me think about reports of people not dancing at concerts for fear of being recorded, posted, and deemed "cringe." I reflected on kids at school going through their days knowing someone without good intentions might snap an unflattering pic and post it to a public account in seconds. All those sleepover shenanigans, pool parties, and school performances can suddenly be up for grabs online. 😳

We see it all the time: People—including family members—record and post others without permission. But it's different for kids, who have developing identities (and bodies!) and might not want certain moments documented for all to see. And teens trying to manage their digital footprints on social media have witnessed people's cringey (or worse) posts follow and define them. That dual awareness creates a ton of pressure to stay "post ready" in public places, and sometimes in personal ones. Meanwhile, any mistakes they do make are often framed as irreversible.

But we can work as a community to lessen these anxieties, for all of our sakes. Kids, friends, and family members can learn to ask for consent before taking pics and posting. We can be aware of how we're impacting others' digital identities. And we can remedy mistakes we all make from time to time.

This is text from an article I received from Common Sense Media, aligned with the Common Sense Education web resource www.commonsense.org

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