As an educator, we are well aware that we do more than educate. We support, empower, comfort, and love our students. Sometimes this involves advocating for our students who need it. Here are some helpful conversation tips to help an LGBTQ+ student who may need your help or have unsupportive people in their life, or how to talk to other people about LGBTQ+ topics?
Not all conversations go smoothly. This is a guide to hopefully give you tools to have productive conversations.
How to talk to... parents:
1) Let the parent/guardian(s) know that the holistic wellness of their student is your number one priority.
2) Let the parent/guardian(s) know that you want to work with them so that their student has support in all places.
3) If a parent has big emotions about you supporting their LGBTQ+ student, then it should be time to direct them to admin.
4) In communications with an unsupportive parent, let an admin know at the first sign. This gives you support. If you do not have a supportive admin, most schools have some kind of discrimination policy. Refer parents to the policies of your school, or even refer to training you completed when you first started working in your workplace.
How to talk to...other students:
1) Let the students know that the holistic wellness of students is your number one priority.
2) A common scenario is when a student says, "That's so gay" or uses the word faggot. A question that encourages conversation and understanding rather than a consequence for the student is: Do you know what that means? Depending on a student's age, some may really not know what they are saying. If a student seems old enough to know, this still gives them an opportunity. If a student says no, they do not know what gay or faggot mean, this is where you educate them. I understand not all conversations will go smoothly or look exactly like this example.
For example, "Gay is when someone is romantically interested in(saying "has a crush on" works for helping younger kiddos understand) someone of the same gender. Is that what you were trying to say?" If a student says no, "Let's find a word to better describe what you were trying to say." At this point, you can ask the student for another word choice, or give students a word choice you find acceptable.
Another example is, "So the word you used (faggot) has been used as a word to hurt members of the LGBTQ+ community. Similar to racist comments, this is hurtful language. A school is a place where everyone should feel safe. If someone used language that was hurtful to you, how would you feel?"
3) If a student transitions mid-school year, or expresses they would like to go by certain pronouns, meet with that student to ask them how they would like you to address it with the class. I had students simply ask me to remind students of their pronouns if students used the wrong ones. Some students don't want me to correct their peers and only care if I use the correct name and pronouns. Each student is different.
4) There are so many lessons out there about the LGBTQ+ community, some are included in this website!
How to talk to...admin:
1) Let your admin know that the holistic wellness of students is your number one priority.
2) If your admin doesn't want you talking about anything LGBTQ+ in your classroom, push to find the reason why.
3) If you are able to leave that position and find a different one, do so.
4) This a great resources for admin: https://www.nassp.org/top-issues-in-education/position-statements/transgender-students/ (although it only speaks of secondary schools, a lot of this information can be translated to elementary school)
How to talk to...coworkers:
1) Let your coworkers know that the holistic wellness of students is your number one priority.
2) What happens in your classroom is important to you and the admin who evaluates you, your coworkers should have no say unless it is positive.
3) Statements like "I support all my students, that is important to me. I want my students to know that I am a safe space." Are very straightforward and to the point.
4) If a co-worker keeps questioning you, bring admin into the situation.