Why contact the Social Workers, Counselors or School Psychologists at Community High School?

WHEN TO CONTACT THE MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT TEAM

Your child or teen might need help from a school social worker or school psychologist if any of the following warning signs are impacting school performance:

• Often feels anxious or worried

• Has very frequent tantrums or is intensely irritable much of the time

• Has frequent stomachaches or headaches with no physical explanation

• Is in constant motion, can’t sit quietly for any length of time

• Has trouble sleeping, including frequent nightmares

• Loses interest in things he or she used to enjoy

• Avoids spending time with friends

• Has trouble doing well in school, attendance and/or grades decline

• Fears gaining weight; exercises, diets obsessively

• Has low or no energy

• Harms herself/himself, such as cutting or burning her/his skin

• Engages in risky, destructive behavior

• Harms self or others

• Smokes, drinks, or uses drugs

• Has thoughts of suicide

• Thinks his or her mind is controlled or out of control, hears voices

If your child is exhibiting any of these behaviors, please contact the school social worker or psychologist for resources and support.

Here are some things to look out for when a teen is experiencing anxiety. Sometimes anxiety shows up looking like something else.

1) Anger-The perception of danger, stress or opposition is enough to trigger the fight or flight response leaving your child angry and without a way to communicate why.

2) Difficulty Sleeping-In children, having difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep is one of the hallmark characteristics of anxiety.

3) Defiance-Unable to communicate what is really going on, it is easy to interpret the child’s defiance as a lack of discipline instead of an attempt to control a situation where they feel anxious and helpless.

4) Chandlering-Chandlering is when a seemingly calm person suddenly flies off the handle for no reason. They have pushed hurt and anxiety so deep for so long that a seemingly innocent comment or event suddenly sends them straight through the chandelier.

5) Lack of Focus-Children with anxiety are often so caught up in their own thoughts that they do not pay attention to what is going on around them.

6) Avoidance-Children who are trying to avoid a particular person, place or task often end up experiencing more of whatever it is they are avoiding

7) Negativity-People with anxiety tend to experience negative thoughts at a much greater intensity than positive ones.

8) Over planning-Over planning and defiance go hand in hand in their root cause. Where anxiety can cause some children to try to take back control through defiant behavior, it can cause others to over plan for situations where planning is minimal or unnecessary.

What Do I Do? Trauma Informed Support for Teens

1) Create Safety-If the child/teen is overwhelmed, perhaps guide them to a quiet corner or allow them to decompress by visiting a restroom or getting a drink of water. At home time in their room or other safe space. If old enough allow them to go for a walk or bike ride.

2) Regulate the Nervous System-Stress brings a predictable pattern of psychological responses and anyone who has suffered toxic stress or trauma is going to be quickly stressed into hyperarousal (explosive, jittery, irritable) or hypoarousal (depressed, withdrawn, zombie-like). No matter how ingenious our regulation strategies, how artsy-crafty we get with the tools the child/teen has to find what works for them. Assist your child or teen in finding what works for them.

3) Build a Connected Relationship-This is the number one way to regulate the nervous system. When we are around people we care about our bodies produce oxytocin which is the hormone responsible for calming our nervous system after stress. If we stay connected then eventually the calm discussion of each person’s feelings and needs can take place.

4) Support Development of Coherent Narrative- Creating predictability through structure, routines and the presence of reliable adults helps reduce the chaos a child may feel and allows them to start creating the kind of logical sequential connections the not only help them understand their own narrative but are also the fundamental requirement of many types of learning

5) Practice “Power-With” Strategies- One of the hall marks of trauma is a loss of power and control. When someone is wielding power over you with no regard to your thoughts or feelings, the toxic shame of the original trauma may come flooding back. As adults we should use our power well. If we model a ‘power-with’ relationship with children it is our best chance of creating adults who will treat others with dignity and respect

6) Build Social Emotional and Resiliency Skills-Trauma robs us of time spent developing social and emotional skill. The brain is too occupied with survival to devote much of its energy to learning how to build relationships and it’s a good chance we didn’t see those skills modeled for us. Learning to care for one another is the most important job we have growing up

7) Foster Post-Traumatic Growth-We know that there are qualities and skills that allow people to overcome the most devastating trauma and not just survive but find new purpose and meaning in their lives. Problem solving, planning, maintaining focus despite discomfort, self-control and seeking support are all known to lead to post-traumatic growth and skills we can foster in children

How to help teens build resiliency in teens

-Spend quality time with kids/teens. When they feel loved and supported they develop emotional strength

-Talk about your feelings so your children learn to share their worries and fears with people they trust

-Instead of rushing to solve problems, give kids/teens time to work things out themselves

-When children experience failure or disappointment it’s important to praise their efforts and encourage them to try again

-Acknowledge your own mistakes to teach kids that mistakes are essential for learning and growth

-If your child can’t find a solution to a problem use gentle questioning to guide them towards it

-Ensure kids are eating well and getting enough sleep and exercise

What to say to your child to help build resilience

-‘This feels a bit scary but it won’t last forever. It is ok to be a little bit scared just now’

-‘We can do tough things if we work together. We are a great team’

-‘It’s ok to feel worried, but we’ve dealt with hard things before so I know we can handle it’

-‘We’ll deal with this one thing at a time. Take a breath and then start on the next thing’

-‘When people are worried we really need to show kindness and help others’

-‘I don’t like that this is happening but we can get through it together’