Did We All Give Up on Shoe Tying?

Times change, sure. We adapt to a new way of doing things, new technology, and different expectations. But what about when entire skill groups seem to disappear? As a therapist working directly with families and young children, I have a front row seat to observe skills being overlooked for the sake of convenience.

You could say this goes right along with some people’s perceptions about the necessity of handwriting, which I wrote about a few years ago, (Is Handwriting Dead??) but today I wanted to talk about another skill that seems to be going by the wayside:

Tying shoes.

There is a beauty hidden in this issue, because now a days there are so many more options for children who simply can’t tie their shoes. Remember when you had that ONE option for bigger velcro shoes with the three giant straps? Now they have awesome designs, or even adaptive laces that don’t need to be tied. I think that’s awesome and inclusive and fantastic. However, what about children that could very well learn this skill, but just don’t?

Why Shoe Tying is Important

Let’s take a quick look at a few of the skills that shoe tying incorporates:

Fine Motor Skills: We typically think about tying shoes around Kindergarten. However, some children are around age 6 or so when they are ready to learn this task. I say this because this task requires fine motor skills of dexterity, in-hand manipulation, and bilateral coordination. We want to make sure the child is ready for the task before we introduce something too challenging. But, that should also bring to light what a great opportunity shoe tying is – you can work on dexterity, in-hand manipulation, and bilateral coordination every single day!

Sequencing and Motor Planning: Whatever method you use, tying a shoe requires learning and recalling quite a few steps in a row. This helps to build sequencing skills, visual memory, and overall motor planning. Not to mention focus and attention to complete the task.

Learning a challenging skill is a critical life lesson: This isn’t the type of skill you learn after seeing it once. It’s something that requires practice, work, and repetition. This is a huge opportunity that so many of us are overlooking. While the challenge can be difficult, the end result, that success with a beaming, proud child, is SO. WORTH. IT. Plus you can always recall this victory when they run into new challenges in the future- “Remember how it took practice to tie your shoes? That how you learn something new!”

Why People Seem to be Giving Up on Shoe Tying

Think about when you are putting your shoes on – it’s typically when you need to go somewhere. And in the rush of trying to get to school, a play date, the doctor, or even therapy sessions, sometimes you just don’t have the time. We never have enough time! Plus as summer ends and we transition from flip flops to school shoes, the time you need to set aside for this task increases exponentially!

Also, learning this skill requires a lot from caregivers. Even when a child is learning in therapy, we ask that they practice a lot at home as well, because one time a week isn’t going to make much of a difference. The more they practice, the more they are encouraged by parents, the faster and stronger they’ll be with this challenge. It requires a time commitment that some people just aren’t able to make.

We also seem to want to make things easier for children. I mean, if you can avoid a struggle, why not? With so many advances in technology, we can have practically anything at our fingertips without trying too hard. But what if I told you there was growth in struggle? And that patience is a beautiful thing to foster in a society that can’t seem to wait for anything? Making something easier might seem good now, but not necessarily in the long run.

A Few Shoe Tying Tips

So I’m not going to stand on my soap box about teaching shoe tying and then leave you hanging! There are SO many different resources on learning how to tie shoes, a quick internet search can load you up with activities and ideas. Here are a just a few general ideas to keep in mind:

You don’t have to start on their shoe: Some children practice in a long sit on the floor with a jump rope tied around their knees so that the movements are bigger and easier to understand. And when you start with an actual shoe, place it in front of them on a table so it will be easier. (Or have them practice on your shoes – I bet they’ll be proud and excited to try!)
Backwards chaining can be helpful: This means that you do 90% of the task, then have the child do the last step, and slowly move backwards until they are doing the whole thing themselves. This fosters a sense of success that might keep them engaged and willing to keep practicing.
The laces make a big difference:
- Short laces are infuriating and difficult to manage when first learning this task because the child doesn’t plan ahead to leave enough room.
- Round laces easily fall untied, so flat ones are usually easier.
- Practicing with wire ribbon can help because it keeps its shape a little more than floppy laces.
- Laces with 2 different colors can help with motor planning and figuring out where to hold the lace. There’s an example here: Two-Colored Laces.
- There are also books which use this style, such as Red Lace, Yellow Lace:
Different methods may make a difference: Some children can’t do the two “bunny ears” method because it’s too difficult to cross mid-line. However, the good thing is that there are many, many different ways to tie shoes. Take a glance on YouTube, or again with an internet search, and you might find something that does the trick. My only advice is to really try something before switching around several times, because it can be very confusing for the child to attempt to learn many different ways.
Keep it as positive as possible: Maybe the child has a goal of picking out a really cool pair of tie shoes once they figure it out. Maybe they need to be reminded that everyone has to practice a lot to learn the skill. A fellow OT and blogger actually just wrote a cool book about shoe tying: The Centipede Who Couldn’t Tie His Shoes, which might help kids think about the process differently.
Practice, practice, practice: Most importantly, practice when you don’t have anywhere to go at all. This makes the activity less stressful and more likely to be successful. A child in a rush is more likely to make a mistake and get frustrated and toss a shoe across the living room.
P.S. – After putting this post up, I received a resource from Lori Holtzinger, OTR/L, MA that she gave permission for me to share: Rainbow Shoe Tie Method. You never know which method might be “the one” to work!

The Takeaway Message

Just to be clear, I’m not minimizing the challenge of this task. I’m a therapist and sometimes even I struggle with how long it can truly take to tie a pair of shoes. But even at the end of a session, when I’ve forgotten to leave enough time, and I’m scheduled back to back to back, I’ll try to take a moment and be present with that child trying to learn.

Also, yes, there are going to be some children out there that just can’t master this skill, and maybe they have other things that are much more important for them to be working on. And in those situations, I’d say adaptive laces or shoes are a wonderful option. But for many, many children, it’s simply about finding the right way to teach them, and following through with the practice it takes to master it.

So even if you tie one shoe and they tie the other. Even if you help them for 75-90% of the task. Even if you are a few minutes late, you are helping develop a skill, foster independence, and teach a child something they’ll use forever.

Posted by TheAnonymousOT on 8/21/18

https://theanonymousot.com/2018/08/21/did-we-all-give-up-on-shoe-tying/