Sixth Grade Challenge Illegally Smuggles Rubber Ducks into EMS

Recently, many of the 6th grade teachers have spotted multiple rubber ducks throughout specific classes, all of which happened to be brought by members of the Challenge Program. More and more of them have been seen with the students, to the point where they’ve started being used as a currency. Even a few 7th and 8th grade students started meddling with the rubber duck concept. None of the teachers or students from other classes understand why. Not even some of the Challenge students knew why they were bringing them.

Investigators from the Shallot crew decided to try and interview the students, but upon entering the classrooms, many were baffled at the sight of how many rubber ducks there were, and were no longer able to function properly in terms of speech and movement. They have been hospitalized and are estimated to make a full recovery within a few days. 

After finding this out, we decided to instead call the students we wanted to talk to through the intercom, so that they would come to us instead.

After a multitude of interviews, most of which to no avail, we were able to gather some information on the topic. We found that 6th grader Karlie Temple currently has the most rubber ducks, beating the Guinness World Record of over 9,000 of them; and to our great surprise, we learned that many students were even sneaking onto planes to separate countries, just to get a hold on specific rare ducks around the world. 

Due to the illegal smuggling of rubber ducks becoming commonplace, the DEA (Duck Enforcement Administration) and ATF (Aviary Theft Firm) were regularly checking in with East Middle School students, taking anyone who was caught committing crimes with them. We saw agents watching them multiple times while interviewing.

One of our conversations was with Nolan Erkman, former mafia boss, now owner of the never-before-seen, gold-plated, diamond-encrusted obsidian duck, found to be worth around $5,450,000,000.01 (five billion, four hundred fifty million dollars and one cent), and it went something along the lines of this:

“Hello, is this Nolan Erkman?”

“Yes. What do you want?”

“We’d like to hear about the rubber duck business going on in your classes.”

“Although I don’t have too many ducks, only around 2,270, my collection has the most value.”

“That’s very impressive, Nolan. Now, I want to know if anything particularly noteworthy has been going on. Is there any drama?”

“Well, I’ve noticed that Mallory Mcgregor has tried to steal rubber ducks from me on multiple occasions. I tried to hire a hitman with a pay of 550 ducks, but Mallory paid them 551 to spare her.” After a few moments of silence, Nolan said, “Hold on, I’ve just been told there’s a new duck up for grabs, something with a value nearly double my whole collection. I have to get it before everyone else, so I have to go. Goodbye.”

Nearly all other attempted interviews with anyone else failed, due to the race for the new duck. We then tried to discuss this whole event with some teachers. While some teachers like Mr. Beynon and Ms. Rath wanted to put an end to the chaos, the social studies teacher Mr. Hansen actively encouraged the rubber duck economy. “If I keep this going, I’ll have a whole new unit to teach soon enough!” 

Us members of the Shallot aren’t sure what to think of this whole situation.