Monday, the worst day of all and not only because it was a Monday, but it was also freezing, colder than Antarctica. “A perfect day Michigan summer day,” as Mr. Roinkgaese would say. Many students thought he was insane, so joyful on such a horrible day. What many students didn’t know was that today was one of the many days that he would pick a poor unsuspecting student, and take their lunch. We here at the Shallot have had many writers lose their lunch to Mr. Renagade and starve because of one mispeling.

Countless students, and even teachers thought that if they were far enough from him they would still be able to keep their lunches even though they had previously spelled or pronounced his name wrong. Oh how they were wrong, no matter how far you were, he would be able to feel how wrong his name felt when written, or hear how miserably people failed to pronounce his name.

Mr. Roaneoivoeioa has become the new bedtime monster, children of all ages (as well as adults) are too afraid to mention his name, whether while writing or speaking. Students at East Middle School have said they’ve lost friends, even family, to this man. So, they’ve been doing anything and everything they can to win him back. Efforts to win his favor have included students bringing Mr. Ranacktityellllcke 6 Little Ceasar pizzas. He’s even compared himself to Caesar with his peasants bringing him gifts of food.

But still, nothing has seemed to satisfy Mr. Rziqpxnmbvtyipz, so as a last resort, students have sought out the GJHS principal, Mrs. Roenicke, in hopes she would help their situation. Mrs. Roenicke told the desperate students that it was fine, “I can’t spell it either.”