Redlands Middle School Infiltrates Yearbook to Spy on EMS: Has the Rivalry Gone too Far?

New evidence has been found as of November 17th, that Redlands Middle School, EMS’s long hated rival, has been hiring our own yearbook club to spy on EMS. Many of the students here at East know of the Shallot’s and Yearbook’s rivalry, however putting all of that aside our investigators have uncovered evidence to suggest Yearbook’s part in our even greater rivalry with RMS(“even we were shocked by Yearbook’s betrayal” says Philbert Summerton, 7th grade Shallioteer(it’s not like we were trying to blackmail them or anything).

In the past year EMS has made considerable progress on CMAS and NWEA, threatening RMS’ position at the top. Now evidence has shown RMS wants to know our “secrets”. The evidence consisted of many documents of Ms. Kindall’s deals with them and many different blue prints of EMS. Probably the most vital piece of evidence found was that it wasn’t even Ms. Kindall who made the deals because none of her fingerprints were found on the documents. Instead it was the infamous Roenicke, who was mad at the school, specifically at Mr. Carei for “making me look like a buffoon with thou’s hot wings.” He then confessed to feeding RMS rumours of the brain juice and something called a Zombie Burger that supposedly will make you a total brainiac for a few hours.

When asked how she felt about this turn of events, Mrs.Kindall said, “What is perhaps most shocking is the fact that most of the yearbook kids were fine with the new orders. I know them, they’re good kids”, she then muttered “ It’s probably those fresh-out-of-the-oven 6th graders; they were baked wrong”. Her cow’s were also extremely taken aback by this new turn of events and went on a twitter rant, (Ms. Kindall was successful in her attempts to teach them English (though how they learned to use a phone, we’ll never know). Mr. Thomas has launched a full scale investigation with the help of The Shallot’s top analysts, and Ms. Clark’s “newfound” judging skills. We here at The Shallot will be sure to keep you posted.