Mr. Jackson Loses Birkenstocks on River Trip

Mr. Jackson is well known for his Birkenstocks, which he has been reported to wear every day of the week. He has not one not two pairs but 29 pairs of Birks, and he has dress Birks, work Birks, rubber Briks, River Birks, and all of the special edition Birks, in various colors as well. He’s never been seen wearing anything else. Some rumors have started that he wears them hiking and swimming. “There’s just something about the cork under gently cradling my feet, it feels FINE on a cool summer day and the straps hugging them tight, it’s like im a child again and the cork makes this noise I call corkeling.” Says Mr. Jackson after an interview last Tuesday. “To be honest I'm worried, sometimes Jackson goes on rants about his Birks and then looks down at them for a good minute with a grin on his face.” says a concerned student who wishes to stay anonymous.

Reports have been coming in that during the 7th Grade River Trip, Mr. Jackson was working tirelessly to prevent his shoes from getting wet. When invited to join the water fight he refused, and sat in the back of the boat dodging the water whilst hugging his legs into his chest and muttering “things can only get better, think of the cork.” But when one of the students fell into the water, he jumped in to save the student. Soon after getting the student back to safety, a scream from another 7th grader alerted him he was needed. After saving the students his feet felt oddly bare, he couldn’t feel the cork under his feet. He realized his blinding, lime green river Birks were no longer with him, No one has ever seen Mr. Jackson separated from his Birks, and no one blames the children for needing to be saved. Mr. Jackson, in a moment of panic, ordered the River Guide to row the boat upstream to retrieve the shoes. After about 55 minutes of struggling against the force of the wild river, the Birks could be seen bobbing closer to the boat. Mr. Jackson did a graceful swan dive into the freezing water to retrieve his beloved Birks. Since no real harm was done, the field trip continued with no major casualties, and Mr. Jackson was able to keep his Birks with him in a zip lock bag for the rest of the day after that. When he got back to land he went to Brown's Shoe Department and bought a nice pair of neon pink rubber Birkenstocks.

Who knows what could have happened if his Birks weren’t found, perhaps a psychotic breakdown. All we know is that it's a good thing he found his Birks, he truly wouldn’t be the same without them.