Grammarly Launches New Social Media Platform

Grammarly was founded in 2009 but no one paid attention to it until 2020 when all of our sanity went out the window and Grammarly came in to save our spelling. While students were still in remote learning, the parents – searching for some way to be closer to their children – saw how many times this grammar app appeared on their kids’ computers. With a sudden urge to install this strange grammar assistant, these parental figures dove down a deep rabbit hole known as Grammarly.

“This is the ultimate ‘cool’” says one of these parents, “Sometimes I hear my son screaming about this Grammarly from across the house, now I can do the same thing!” says another parent.

We here at the Shallot shudder to think of what these parents even do with Grammarly on their phones, probably coming after each other on Facebook for using the wrong “their” “there” or “they’re”. We would not recommend getting involved. One EMS teacher is rightfully wary about Grammarly’s true intentions, even saying to their class once, “Grammarly is not the best thing ever. A bit unstable – don’t trust it.”

Grammarly has taken its pushiness to the next level with the new social media platform: InstaGrammarly! This is the FBI’s way to keep tabs on the youth of today, but what they didn’t realize is that the only active members are 30-year-olds trying to be “cool”. There is a theory going around that none of these users are really on the app of their own free will. People believe that Grammarly is paying these middle-agers to make an account and post no less than twice a week, as all of the posts have Grammarly plugs and advertisements, though that just might be the 30-year-olds trying to be cool again. Mr. Carei, an InstaGrammarly! frequent user known as Drakeboiiscool@instagrammarly says, “Aww no man, it's cool and chill here. Nothing is sus, there’s people of all ages. My ma is on here, she can make sure the DnD parties I host at the Library don't get too rowdy by watching my live stream. In fact you should join today!” Our sources suggest that 98% of InstaGrammarly users are over the age of 31 and 1/2.

“What we are supposed to do now, Facebook, Insta, and Snap chat are being taken over by Boomers, Gen X, and Millenials, eww. Now all we have is Tik tok, and Mr. Roenicke tells us all the time that TikTok is just China trying to control us” said a deflated EMS student. Grammarly is now recruiting any sad middle-aged people to legally change their name to any of the following and open an account today. Trixibelle, Jetaime, Tallie, Drey, Kailani, Danyon, Rochella, La4ch (pronounced la- for- sh), La-a (pronounced la-dash-a), or Jago. InstaGrammarly! gets 5 stars from the FBI’s review column in ‘Crime Fighters Magazine’ and 4.5 stars in ‘Cool old people weekly’. If you are a desperate middle aged human; or heck even a middle aged living being, download InstaGrammarly! today!