East Middle School Saved by Plastic Babies

Recently there has been a weird feeling at EMS, almost like there are these lurkingentities in the halls and wherever you go. So EMS ran an investigation with our dear cousin, Billathith Zozo, an intelligent young Bill with an eye for things that are out of place. Billathith checked the ceiling by pushing up one of the ceiling panels. Only to find thousands of tiny colorful babies floating around like angels, and that was when Billathith thought of a way to save the school. If we save the babies, nurture them, and then show them to the DeMOGraphEr to prove that birth rates are up.  Now you might be asking how did so many babies get in the walls. Well in 1828, a spaceship landed around this area and left thousands of colorful plastic babies. When the school was built the babies moved in. Bilathith Zozo started nurturing the babies to get the school’s attendance rate to increase. Now that the babies have been discovered they have started to take over the halls. Every direction you looked there were babies floating. When the school was visited by one of the school board members he ran off screaming at the sight of the babies now floating in circles around the school. The babies started interrupting classes. Floating through the walls and getting control of the computers to play Cool Math Games is one of the many ways they have interrupted class. The babies also got into the banned band book library and started replacing all of the music with Ms. Daigles ‘amazing’ music. While this was a seemingly good idea some of the feral babies ended up taking over the school, and the only one brave enough to stay was none other than the baby whisperer Bilathith Zozo. 

The tiny plastic babies started appearing at East several years ago, much to the confusion of the teachers. Students wore them for earrings, while in most cases they just accumulated in classrooms like elm bugs. Teachers wondered where they came from, and were amazed at the rate of their multiplication. Little did we know that forces beyond our control were working to save our very existence. This was the work of Bilathith Zozo all along. As it turns out, the babies were sent here to correct our district attendance numbers with exponential growth. So when we awake from this nightmare, start another school year, and carry on as usual, please remember to thank our patron saint Zozo, and hug a tiny little plastic baby when you find one.