Mr. Carei Sees Irony in Ironing

A local middle school teacher Mr. Carei was caught in an unreasonably pink shirt with random blue details that no one can discern because he publicly declared a ban on ironed clothing. Many of the staff are absolutely appalled by this odd fashion statement.

After hearing this, the Shallot found this so ironic that there needed to be further investigation done. During an interview with Carei, the Shallot asked why he declared this ban and he said, “I feel as though ironing is absolutely ridiculous, or should I say an irony,” he stops to let out a small chuckle to himself. “I express myself through my wrinkles. These crinkles represent my aging soul, and I’m proud of who I am!” Carei clearly was very passionate about his crumpled collars. He then said, “I guess one could say I have an iron deficiency,” he let out another loud chortle and leaned down to slap his knee. Many were disappointed in his wretched dad jokes.

the Shallot then asked if he was going to make his students participate in this ban, with him saying, “I plan on assigning a project where the students will go home and throw away all the irons. If they don’t support my choices, they will fail the 8th grade.” This statement was very bold, with very strong rage rising in him.

The Shallot could only ask one final question, “Why my dude?” His face turned crimson like his creased shirt he had on, his wrinkles in his face deepening. This question struck a chord in his soul. “How could the Shallot ask me something so offensive?? I cannot believe you guys!!! Your news isn’t even real! YOU WILL ALL FAIL MY CLASS NOW, YOU MEANIES!!”

After the “Scary Carei Crisis”, student’s were heard buzzing in the hallways about this. “I think that ironing is kind of overrated, but I mean, you know, I like unwrinkled clothing,” said sassy eighth grader Teagan Weatherly. “I kind of just go with the flow of things man. I prolly will just support my teacher so he doesn’t give me a bad grade man,” said Ella Fischer. “Why does Mr. Carei get to call an uprising with my old students?? I want to do that!! Why don’t I get to do that??” said frustrated teacher Mr. Roenicke while stuffing his mouth full of pizza..

Many 8th graders have been seen around the EMS campus with wrinkled collars. Mr. Carei’s new movement had spread like iron-fire. He also announced that his name will now be carved out of iron that will sit on his desk, but there will not be an E. He doesn’t like the iron E.