Carbonated.com Shrouds EMS in Mystery

January 16th 1962 was the day the entire East Middle School community witnessed true danger and mystery with the release of a “friendly” student website.

A week before this date, EMS was an uplifting, casual society composed of supportive students that turned in their assignments, did their homework, and followed standard operating procedures within the school grounds. It was honestly believed that everything within this educational institution would remain an effective, orderly place for centuries. However, underneath the unscathed East Middle School skin, 6th Grade Challenge students Alexandra Stow and Clair Miley were planning something beyond devious.

Beyond about a month of preparation, after the new year on January 16, Carbonated.com was released for all eyes to see. Carbonated.com serves as, essentially, an undercover “black-market” business, where users can purchase food items from their unique selection that comes from their own unique staff. Little information is known about the current operations of Carbonated.com; where the farm/factories are located, or the identity of the subjects who work there. Once the website was released, East Middle School became shrouded in mystery and chaos.

“I don’t know if this is legal…” Mr.Beynon inputs, interested in the market after finding students in his ELA class interacting with the website, “I mean…what is a ‘fermented chunk?’”

Pretty soon, about a week after the website began running, however, teachers have become concerned with the safety of those ordering from or even viewing the website. Mr.Hansen reports worriedly, “There are some really, spiritual things going on with this website…the depicted practice of  ‘Hansenism’ does pose a lot of questions, not to mention references with the Russian government.” 

“I’m more worried about the actual health hazards this ‘Carbonated.com’ imposes,” Ms.Rath stresses regarding her 6th Grade Challenge Science class, “I walk around and see this photographs and orders of children leg ‘legguine’, ‘Freez Dried loshun’, ‘Nyquil chickenens’, and ‘Narcolepsy Pepsi’. This is incredibly suspicious. These ‘food’ items are obviously dangerous, disgusting, and our children are willingly purchasing them.”

Since the shock and danger Carbonated.com has supposedly targeted EMS students with, the website has been banned from school grounds and alerted to parents for safety concerns. While, by rule, this website is not allowed to be used, however, the black market business continues to live on within secret Challenge organizations…

“They can try and stop this function that we have built”, Alex Stow tells us, wiggling her fingers together maniacally as her voice drops to a whisper, “But we all live inside the Carbonated.com community forever…”