EMS Bananas Field Trip Causes War Over Acquired Toys

As reported on the 28th of October, a recent East Middle School Bananas field trip turned from a fun, exciting event for the students into a history of repeated catastrophe and anger. This was all due to 6th grade students fighting over toys, apparently ending many friendships and resulting in mass depression and a lack of learning.

This all started when EMS provided a fun Bananas Funpark thank-you field trip for the students, letting them have a day of fun and excitement with their friends. When asked, many students did tell us that it was a lot of fun for everybody. Most kids were able to get points from games and even get tons of toys to bring to school.

This went south, however, when multiple fights were reported about the students fighting over toys. Not only was it the fighting, but kids were selling their houses and families for some of the toys that other students have. Two students, Willow Smith and Riley York were involved in a case similar to this. When interviewing Willow about why he decided to kidnap Riley, he told us “I was just desperate about getting the Deluxe Mystical Legendary Mini Hamburger Squishy bro.”

“I was so scared,” Riley York later told us after he was bailed out of Willow’s basement, “I was just trying to show everybody my Hamburger Squishy toy during breakfast. Willow really wanted it, I told him no, and suddenly everything changed.”

Teachers have expressed their concerns about all of the wars and incidents by starting speeches about peace and freedom. They have also hosted fundraisers and Main Street walk events to spread the word and help struggling students.

“This has been pretty effective I think,” States one of the teenage participants of the Main Street Walk event, “I’m pretty sure they’re just making us a bunch of hippies, but whatever I dunno.”

The teachers of East Middle School have been continuing their efforts to spread peace throughout the school and stop these fights from going on. One EMS Administration staff has provided a word for us, saying “These students will fight back soon enough, they’re just not themselves right now. It’s these demonic hamburger toys that are warping our students and we will shut it down.