6th Graders Addicted to Gambling After Educational Jeopardy: Mr. Hansen to Blame

As reported on 11/9/22, many 6th Graders within East Middle School have become chronically addicted to gambling after winning thousands of dollars in an educational jeopardy game. Many students have left school in order to fly out to Las Vegas, which has affected learning for many others and has caused major concerns with parents. Social Studies educator Mr.Hansen has been blamed for setting up the show and causing the students to become this way.

“We have been winning so much money,” Nolan Erkman, one of Mr.Hansen’s top students states alongside his close friend, Ryker Wall, “I mean, we can’t just quit now. We’re building a legacy! We’re rich!”

As the issue has been investigated, it was found out that Nolan Erkman is now one of Las Vegas’s biggest mafia bosses and a pro-gambler. Ryker Wall has also earned a big title, becoming manager of one of the biggest casinos in Las Vegas.

While these two students are very happy with their newfound fortune, many other teachers and parents have their worries. EMS Gifted Talented teacher Mrs.Sleigh tells us “We’ve just found out about what these kids are doing, and it’s just way out of hand. Tyrus Cubert has sold his family for poker chips. Mr.Erkman is a mafia boss and won’t even let us call him by his first name. These students are just very lost right now and we need a lot of help.”

While many teachers believe this was completely out of the student’s own greed, many other students and parents believe Mr.Hansen was at fault for setting up the Social Studies jeopardy game and letting students earn all of this money. Not only are the accusations serious enough, some are even starting pranks and hate-crimes against Mr.Hansen.

“He deserves all of this,” Math teacher Mr.Man surprisingly states after trapping Mr.Hansen in a chokey for 2 hours and 43 minutes, “It’s all Mr.Hansen’s fault that my students are out making billions of dollars and missing out on their two-step solving inequalities lessons.”

All other teachers are working on peacefully detaining and redirecting protesting students so that they can go back to learning. On the other hand, Mr.Hansen is being suspended for a little while so that he can recover from all the damage. At the same time, Mrs.Sleigh has taken the brave role of flying out to Las Vegas and transporting all gambling students back to East Middle School where they can begin rehabilitation.

But the real question that still remains among all students, teachers, and parents: Was Mr.Hansen really at fault?