How to Discuss Racism with Children 

Is my child too young to discuss racism?

Simply put, no. Research indicates that infants as young as 6 months old may show racial bias and children can internalize this bias between the ages of 2 and 4. "You can start having conversations about race in preschool", said Jacqueline Dougé, M.D., a pediatrician and child health advocate based in Maryland. Experts recommend that families are honest and have simple yet realistic conversations about race with their children. It is recommended that adults use clear, direct, and factual language when discussing racism with children so they do not miss the message if forced to read between the lines.

Should I wait for my child to bring up racism before discussing it with them?  

No. We cannot always control what children are seeing and hearing and they might already be more aware of the current events than we realize through media exposure, overheard conversations, or their own observations. Parents should meet their children where they are and take a minute to listen to what they are aware of or have been exposed to. This article from the Child Mind Institute has quick and practical tips for supporting children through these conversations.

Most children understand what fair and unfair mean. Families can begin the conversation with children using these concepts that they can relate to and continue to promote respect, empathy, and inclusion among young children.

How can I do my part to help stop racism?

Experts suggest we take some time to understand what white privilege is, examine our own biases, and learn more about the systemic racism embedded in our country. They also encourage us to talk about what is happening with our children and take action against it. 

How can I raise my children to be anti-racist?

"With young children, you should start by discussing racial differences in a positive way", said Marietta Collins, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist. Experts suggest to begin by reading books that talk about and celebrate skin color differences with young children. If a child asks why another child has black or brown skin, parents can take this opportunity to explain that melanin is the pigment of our skin and people whose ancestors lived near the equator have more pigment in their skin. A parent can even hold their arm against their child's to show the differences in skin tones in their own family. Resources such as socialjusticebooks.org have a variety of books that help parents introduce sensitive subjects to children in an age appropriate way. 

Experts emphasize that children learn the most from our actions and recommend that families demonstrate and model how to be anti-racist for their children. Parents can practice how they will interrupt racism with their children and family. They can teach their children to name racism when they see it and find an adult that will help them. 

I want to provide my children with plenty of information, books, and videos about racism in light of the current events happening in our country. Am I on the right path?

Definitely! However, while it is important to explain what is happening in our country to children along with the history leading up to these events, it is also a good idea to read regular books to them with black or POC characters to show children that they are just like them. Common Sense Media curated list of more than 80 books with diverse characters for school-aged children. Diverse Book Finder is another resource to explore multicultural picture books. These books help normalize diversity for kids and spark spontaneous, everyday conversations about race. Keep the conversation open and encourage questions, even if you do not have all of the answers! 

Beyond this valuable exposure to diverse literature, it is important to remember that children learn from what they see; our actions are more important than our words.“The best advice I can give parents is to be models for the attitudes, behavior and values that they wish to see in their children,” said Nia Heard-Garris, M.D. 

What can I say or do when my child is made fun of for the color of their skin? 

First and foremost, ensure them that you will take care of them and their safety. Remind your child that there is nothing wrong with the color of their skin. Listen to them and let them express their emotions, especially when we do not have all of the answers. 

What is racism?

Racism is when people treat other people unfairly because of the way they look or the color of their skin. 

Why are people protesting?

People are protesting because black people and people of color have been treated unfairly due to the color of their skin. Black people in our country have a history unlike any other race's history; they are the only race that came to this country enslaved, meaning they were forced to work without pay and were treated very poorly. While slavery does not exist in our country anymore, racism does. We have to change the course of history now and that is why people are speaking up. Changes have taken a very long time and people are frustrated. People are protesting in order to stand up to racism, make others aware of it, and come together to make changes happen. Protesters are working hard to change hearts, minds, and policies. 

Why are some people racist?

We don't really know why but we do know that hurt people hurt people. Oftentimes, people who feel bad about themselves are mean to others. You can send those people positive thoughts and messages to help. 

What should I do if I see someone being racist?

We respect people of all races. When we see black people or people of color being treated unfairly, we must speak up. Use your voice to say that it is wrong and tell an adult. Lead by example for others by having empathy and showing inclusion and acceptance of all races. We must stand together to make this a kind and safe place to live.