Adapted from an article by Brendan O'Brien at Slingshot eSports - July 23, 2025

To our fellow parents who’ve watched their kid stumble out of their room after hours of gaming looking like a confused mole, take a breath. All is not lost.

Your child isn’t broken. They’re not antisocial. And no, they’re probably not going to live in your basement forever (although, let’s not tempt fate). They’ve just figured out how to find their people in pixels instead of at playgrounds.

Remember when “go outside and play” didn’t trigger an eye-roll so intense it could shift the earth’s axis? These days, your teen can carry on deep, emotional friendships with someone called SkaterBoi2009 who lives three time zones away, but can barely mumble a thank-you to the cashier at Target.

But here’s the thing: those online friendships aren’t fake. They matter. It’s kind of like having full-time access to a pen pal. But, they’re just missing something important. Like not having someone next to you who can share a laugh (and their fries) when the day’s been rough.

Before we take the cliff dive into the “how,” let’s talk about why this is important.

Online, our kids get to polish their responses, curate their thoughts, and show the best version of themselves. But in real-life? That’s where people stumble over their words, laugh at the wrong parts, and figure out how to connect in the messy in-between. And that’s where the real growth happens.

Social cues, body language, and tone are all stuff you just can’t learn from behind a screen. These things need reps, like muscle memory, and that only happens in real-world situations. These things happen when children play together in an environment unregulated by adults. These things need to be experienced inperson.

Being able to show up and navigate real interactions builds a type of confidence that no online leaderboard can touch. It’s like knowing how to actually parallel park versus drifting in Mario Kart.

But, we mess up when we treat screen time like junk food and in-person socializing like broccoli. “That’s enough gaming! Go outside and make friends!”, we say. Yeah… no. That’s like asking a cat to take a bath.

Instead, think of yourself as a guide helping them add more balance rather than the police yanking away the stuff they love and putting them in gaming jail. Gently cultivate their world like a gardener and hide the inner carpenter who wants to shape and mold them.

Start by really listening. What do they love about their online crew? Maybe it’s the shared humor, the feeling of belonging, or the ability to just be themselves. Once you know what they’re getting from those relationships, you can help them find it in real life, too.

If they love team-based games, maybe that points to board game nights, robotics clubs, or even escape rooms. If they’re into creative stuff online, look into art classes, theater programs, or writing groups.

Try combining their online and offline lives. Host a small gaming night at your place where local friends can come over and play together. Or find a fan convention, esports event, or a themed club that matches their interests. These kinds of meetups feel natural because they’re built around things your child already enjoys. Even plan on attending our Game & Chill or RAID nights.

Instead of saying, “You need to make real friends,” try something like, “Hey, I heard there’s a group that meets to do [insert their interest]. Want to check it out?” Make it feel more like an IRL Legend of Zelda adventure.

And go for structured social stuff. Clubs, classes, volunteering are all great places where interaction happens shoulder to shoulder and around a shared purpose. Not having to carry a convo or look others constantly in the eye takes away the intimidation factor.

Oh, and please don’t compare them to their siblings, the neighbor’s kid, or your own memories of riding bikes or playing at the playground until the streetlights came on. While those were meaningful times for us parents, there’s a huge disconnect there.

But hey, you don’t have to rip away all screen time to make room for real-world fun. Start with one new experience that lines up with their interests and build from there.Signing them up for five activities at once will backfire fast. Start small. Let it grow naturally. These things take time.

You’ll know things are moving in the right direction when they’ve got a real-life friend they occasionally see, they can handle small group hangouts without shutting down. They're a little more comfortable in everyday conversations, and they start showing interest in something offline.

This shift won’t happen in a week. And it definitely won’t happen on your schedule. It’ll take time, patience, and probably more than a few eye-rolls along the way. But you got this.

Think of yourself more like a coach than a commander. Your role is to set up opportunities, give encouragement, and celebrate every little win. A simple, “I saw you chatting with the group today—way to go,” means more than you might think.

And remember that you’re not pulling them away from technology. You’re guiding them toward a fuller life that includes both virtual and real-world connections. You’re teaching healthy boundaries. You’re giving them a better path.

Because the truth is, (spoiler alert) the future isn’t screen-free. Yes, that might be a shocker but our kids will need to learn how to navigate both spaces with confidence, empathy, and authenticity.

Yep, let them keep their online friends. But also show them that the real world, with all its chaos, quirks, awkwardness, and occasional cringe, is worth exploring too. And that it’s fun to be with the humans that exist outside of WiFi.

P.S. If it takes bribing them with their favorite snack to get them to one social activity, go for it. We’re in this for the long haul.

Make the connection:

Galatians 6:9 “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

It will take time to guide our kids from living life inside to living life outside. How might we gently guide them to more meaningful in-person experiences?