Managing Emotions

An important part of executive functioning is Planning.  Planning is required in order to reach goals and it is a skill that can be taught and reinforced. Many students are familiar with the SMART method for making goals. The students in my groups make at least one each quarter.  SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Observable, Realistic and Timely.  Now is a great time to think about an academic goal that can be reached this quarter.  

Zones of Regulation refer to our spectrum of emotions and how they affect our alertness, ability to work and function.  The best zone for functioning is the Green Zone. In the Green Zone we feel content, focused and  positive. In the Blue Zone we might feel tired, sad or sick.  The Yellow Zone is the "warning area"- we might feel excited, worried or confused but still have some control.  In the Red Zone, we feel very upset and its almost impossible to work, it feels out of control.  Everyone has emotions in all zones- and that is OK!  Below find ideas to make a "tool box" to help you cope when you're not in the Green Zone.

This activity gives a visual guide to help you to think about the things in life that you can control and those things that you can't control. Often, there are things that you can have some influence over but not completely control.

You can print this circle of control, use a hula hoop or even draw a chalk circle on the sidewalk. Decide if each topic goes in the circle of control or is out of the circle of control. These topics can lead to good discussion- they are not always straight forward. Discuss the aspects of the topic that you could influence.

The idea is that we learn to put efforts toward changing the things we can control. Things that are out of our control may deserve our concern, worry or even anger; we can acknowledge our concern or worry- and then move on. Accept that it is often a waste of energy to try to change things that are out of our control. It can leave us frustrated and disappointed to try to change things that cannot be changed. Focus on the things we can influence or change.

"Mindfulness" seems to be the buzz word these days but what does it mean?  Before I learned about mindfulness, I thought "that's not for me- I'm not into yoga, incense and all that". 

Now I know better! Mindfulness just means focusing, really focusing, on what you are doing at just that moment. It can include any or all senses.  

But why be mindful? Mindfulness practices can help us regulate feelings, decrease stress, anxiety and depression. It can also help us to focus our attention, as well as to observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. 

A few favorite activities for kids are;

1) For one whole minute- stay completely silent, pay attention to what you hear. Write it down if you want. You'll be surprised at all the noises that go on around us all the time.

2) Eat something in silence and think closely about the sensations. Popcorn works well for this activity but any food can work.  Think- what does it taste like? Sweet? Salty? Bitter? How does it feel- soft, crunchy, sharp?

3) 5-4-3-2-1  Acknowledge 5 things you can see around you, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. This is a great exercise to "ground" you when you are upset.

Want to learn more about the benefits of mindfulness? 

https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/benefits-of-mindfulness.htm 

I know you've heard this one before- simply write down three things that you are thankful for each day.  It is such a simple activity but it has a profound effect on your outlook, even your mood.  You may be in the habit of stating your gratitude out loud, but by writing down the things you are thankful for each day, you can actually "count your blessings".  

You can re-purpose an old notebook or fold some papers together. Younger children can draw or dictate what they are grateful for. 

Pro-tip- Writing your three things down at the same time each day can help you to remember to do it. Some people like to start their day this way, others like to write them down before bed.  

There are no right or wrong answers- big things, small things, silly things, serious things.  It is so important during this time, when we tend to think about all the things we've lost, to refocus on what we have!

Social Stories are a great way for younger children to learn about social expectations and prepare for changes and differences in their lives.  They can also teach children how respond or behave in social situations.