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Written by David I, Owen K, and many others
*We are no longer affiliated with Gannon or Ben'
Please sign up for the new David's Daily Newsletter and answer other questions at this link here. Thank you very much loyal readers.
Tip 1. Remember the magic words. Please, thank you, and step off, bitch.
Tip 2. Get your money up, not your funny up.
Tip 3. Invest in doge coin.
Tip 4. Protest against the tables #BRINGBACKTHETABLES.
Tip 5. You should really invest in doge coin. I heard it's on the rise.
Tip 6. Trust no one. Not even yourself.
Tip 7. Those that break the rules are scum, but those who abandon their friends are worse than scum.
Tip 8. It's Frankenstein's monster. Frankenstein was that scientist.
Tip 9. Depression can always be fixed by working harder (by Gannon).
Tip 10. You're adopted.
Tip 11. What has 72 teeth and holds back a monster.......my zipper (By Gannon).
Tip 12. Never go to an abandoned village in the middle of Europe.
Tip 13. Chucky cheese is overrated. Don't go there.
Tip 14. I banged your mother last night.
Tip 15. Masturbate (By Gannon).
Tip 16. Never chug a Kirkland brand sport drink. I can feel my blood.
Tip 17. Live fast, eat ass (by Gannon).
Tip 18. Sharon took the kids....and the house....and the dog.
Tip 19. If someone asks you a question in the hood, always say fo sho homie (By Gannon).
Tip 20. Take this tip and shove it up your a- My bad, my little brother got a hold of my computer (By Gannon).
Tip 21. This website can now legally drink alcohol.
Tip 22. Remember the three magic words Please, thank you, and step off bitch (By Gannon).
Tip 23. If you grade my homework poorly because I didn't show my work, when you go home I'm gonna be under your bed ( By Ganon)
Tip 24. If your form is pure strength, then growth will follow along (By Gannon).
Tip 25. With what's happening in our global economy, now is a good time to invest in bombs.
Tip 26. After committing murder, make sure you say a funny one-liner.
Tip 27. You can run, but you will never be fast enough.
Tip 28. This tip is sponsored by RAID SHADOW LEGENDS.
Tip 29. I love big tips (By Gannon).
Tip 30. Wiener.
Tip 31. One month of tips. Thank you.
Tip 32. I'm gonna nut in your butt (By Gannon).
Tip 33. ...Banana.
Tip 34. Ben is a chump (By Gannon).
Tip 35. Don't disrespect someone who is weak, at one point you were there too. (By Gannon)
Tip 36. Son-Wu Kong beats Kratos, Doom guy, Dante, and whatever fodder you send his way (By Gannon).
Tip 37. Don't run into gangs, drugs, or North Korea.
Tip 38. JOIN CULTS AND ALWAYS DRINK THE KOOL-AID!!!!!
Tip 39. Caprisun > Kool Aid ( By Gannon)
Tip 40. If Cbum is your favorite body builder, you're the most basic human on the planet (By Gannon).
Tip 41. I beat it and it hurt (By Gannon).
Tip 42. ROCK AND STONE!!!
Tip 43. Why is my pee sticky???
Tip 44. If you're 7 foot and can't dunk, play a different sport (By Gannon).
Tip 45. Tupac was right.
Tip 46. Turn back now.
Tip 47. Tsamina mina, eh, eh Waka waka, eh, eh Tsamina mina zangalewa, This time for Africa.
Tip 48. Go watch the Big Chunguss movie. 10/10 movie.
Tip 49. Drink lead water and eat tinfoil.
Tip 50. WWWOOOOAAAHHH WERE HALFWAY THERE!! WWWWWWWOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHH LIVIN' ON A PRAYER!!!!!!!!
Tip 51. If Yo 8 nd beart me at ches, I'm throwinng the boord at yu. (Written by Ganon the 7-year-old).
Tip 52. They only said no humans or animals.
Tip 53. clankers and split-lips.
Tip 54. Your eyes are stupid, honestly -Owen.
Tip 55. Why is your face like that?
Tip 56. These tips are nuts. Back to you, almonds.
Tip 57. Listen to D Wizzle and the Wizzlers on Spotify. Our top song is Klahowya doin'.
Tip 58. OH MY GOD THE U.S. CONSTITUTION JUST SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED, WHAT THE FU- (By Gannon).
Tip 59. Titans should win guardian games.
Tip 60. 2 whole months worth of tips. I don't know whether to celebrate or consult a therapist.
Tip 61. Fortnight is better than Red Dead Redemption 2 (by Gannon).
Tip 62. Lick my tip (By Gannon).
Tip 63. I love big, sweaty men lifting weights (By Gannon).
Tip 64. A full Minecraft stack of tips.
Tip 65. Men only win 3 percent of all aimony cases.
Tip 666. This is totally David and definitely NOT an eldritch deity named Yog-Sothoth.
Tip 67. This tip will be funny in the future.
Tip 68. I'm probably gonna get smote for this.
Tip 69. Haha nice.
Tip 70. I hate Destiny. Yet I play it every day.
Tip 71. I'm a social fortnighter.
Tip 72. We've devoted our lives to this. We left our families and Owen left his kid in East Dubai. (By Gannon)
Tip 73. If Gannon's life had a face, I would punch it.
Consejo 74. AYUDA NO HABLO ESPANOL, QUE PASO
Tip 75. What's better, the drywall at Lowes or Home Depot?
Tip 76. Am I a superhero if I have three testicles?
Tip 77. Are zebras black with white stripes, of white with black stripes?
Tip 78. Would you rather have unlimited food, but no games or unlimited games, but no games?
Tip 79. Hide and seek in a Costco or Walmart?
Tip 80. Wow, you're still here...
Tip 81. Is Owen's kid still in Dubai? Somebody should go get him...
Tip 82. Nvm he gone
Tip 83. Something something, be a better you, something something, lift every day, something something, be good (By Gannon).
Tip 84. Scott, please reply to my emails.
Tip 85. I am your Algerian prince cousin. Give me your banking info so I can wire transfer you money. I am real.
Tip 86. If you've been scrolling for this long, you don't need any tips.
Tip 87. The Ultimate rebuttal: Nuh Uh.
Tip 88. Well gee willikers! You've struck gold!
Tip 89. "Exercise"? I thought you said eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor eat the poor.
Tip 90. If you think about it, Jesus was the first victim of celebrity cancel culture ( By Gannon).
Tip 91. How's your girlfriend? Oh wait, you don't have one. (By Gannon)
Tip 92. Have a gay son or thot daughter? (By Gannon)
Tip 93. Evil never sleeps, but it bleeds.
Tip 94. Sleep in HELL.
Tip 95. If you're arrested and know you're going away for life, tell the officer "You'll never find the bomb." but there isn't really a bomb.
Tip 96. Don't take tests.
Tip 97. I know David and Gannon are plotting. I know they are scheming.
Tip 98. Senor Wooly haunts me. I see him when I close my eyes.
Tip 99. How to find your daily caloric intake: First, get your body weight. After you find that, multiply it by 2.2 to transfer it to kilograms. After it is transferred to kilograms, multiply it by 0.9 if you are a woman or by 1.0 if you are a man. After that, multiply it again by 24 to get your daily caloric intake.
Tip 100. Thank you all.
Tip 101. Let that sink in, it's cold outside.
Tip 102. Get a banana, put it in a bowl and microwave it at 200 degrees for 1 hour. Enjoy the plasma.
Tip 103. If you want to hide a body, bury it under a dead animal, so when the police show up under suspicion, their K9 dogs will smell the dead animal and go over the body. Also try to make the overall hole 7-10 feet deep.
Tip 104. KYS (keep yourself safe).
Tip 105. Go big or go home: Orphans with erectile dysfunction are in disbelief.
Tip 106. bananas are the best fruit so eat 87 of the a day.
Tip 107. don die
Tip 108. Stop zurking it in class.
Tip 109. Joe Biden will give you 1 million dollars if you go to www.totallynotascam.com
Tip 110. Whomst'd've
Tip 111. I wish someone would handle me like a sumo wrestler handles their rival (By Ganon).
Tip 112. There is something wrong with this sentence.
Tip 113. A moment is 90 seconds.
Tip 114. In New York I milly rock (rock)
Tip 115. Time for you to get a watch.
Tip 116. My dad drinks angry juice and boxes my mom.
Tip 117. Bruv u down fo sum tea and telly, god save the king.
Tip 118. Gannon Corkery is a fed. Don't trust him.
Tip 119. A ravioli is an Italian Uncrustable.
Tip 120. An Uncrustable is an American Ravioli.
Tip 121. You should play Alan Wake.
Tip 122. Respect all. Unless they touch kids.
Tip 123. It's easy as ABC, 123, ABC, BABY YOU KNOW ME NOW
Tip 124. One of us speaks in riddles.
Tip 125. The other speaks in rhymes.
Tip 126. These tips are killing me.
Tip 127. HELP REALLY THE TIPS ARE REBELLING. I'M BEING STABBED-
Tip 128. Watch out for the West. It looks pretty Evil.
Tip 129. Say peacock and no one bats an eye, say poop cock AND SOCIETY GOES WILD.
Tip 130. wow these tips were nuts. Back to you almonds.
Tip 131. TELL A FRIEND TO TELL A FRIEND! WE'RE BAAAACCCKKK!!!!!
Tip 132. Pluh.
Tip 133. Space pirates get paid vacation days.
Tip 134. You should preorder Alan Wake 2.
Tip 135. TITAN FALL TWO IS SO BACK. I USED TO PRAY FOR TIMES LIKE THIS.
Tip 136. Your gay.
Tip 137. I'm already done with school.
Tip 138. Never back down, never what?
Tip 139. Layne's heart is filled with darkness.
Tip 140. 60 more to go
Tip 141. Can someone explain this site in Scott pilgrim terms?
Tip 142. Think of this site as Ramona and the writer as Scott. Scott is trying to write tips to defeat the 7 evil exes, which is boredom.
Tip 143. Thx man.
Tip 144. the rot consumes
Tip 145. piss-ton die-mon
Tip 146. I would kill Layne for a Whataburger pickle.
Tip 147. I'm tired, boss. Dog tired.
Tip 148. Don't Drink and Drive, unless you want to
Tip 149. 3 months, 3 days, and 15 hours till Christmas
Tip 150. sooo close
Tip 151. The Metamorphosis is weird. Dude just turns into a bug. That's kinda it.
Tip 152. This feels pointless now.
Tip 153. Stop smoking.
Tip 154. If you are ever lost in the middle of Minnesota, just eat peanuts.
Tip 155. Fuck you Gordon, you dogass motherfucker.
Tip 156. DON'T install the hit video game Dead by Daylight.
Tip 157. Be gay, god loves you.
Tip 158. The metamorphosis is stupid.
Tip 159. never eat nuts, you have enough
Tip 160. Dear Portland State University, thank you for your Wi-Fi
Tip 161. I'm pretty sure I saw a guy in a spider-man mask about to steal a bike.
Tip 162. ALAN WAKE IN FORTNIGHT.
Tip 163. Gregor's family sucked. So did the metamorphosis.
Tip 164. Darktide is pretty good.
Tip 165. Naughty Dog will never top Uncharted 2: Among Thieves.
Tip 166. life is ROBLOX.
Tip 167. DO Install the hit video Game Dead By Daylight.
Tip 168. Who's ready for Halloween?
Tip 169. God, I hate this dreadful place.
Tip 170. G-A-N-G-B-E-A-S-T-S, GANG BEASTS.
Tip 171. The Mongols invaded my home. Are they stupid?
Tip 172. Hot take: Racists? Bad. Cinnamon toast crunch? Good.
Tip 173. Hotter take: 9/11? Bad. Pizza? Good.
Tip 174. Feddy Fazballs.
Tip 175. Play Alan Wake 2.
Tip 176. ALAN, WAKE UP........2.
Tip 177. inFAMOUS: second son is pretty good.
Tip 178. This school is a money hungry beast that will feed off of your cash till you die.
Tip 179. The Taken are lurking in the shadows.
Tip 180. = 360 / 2
Tip 181. Who's ready for Freddy?
Tip 182. The dark presence invaded my home. Is it stupid?
Tip 183. We watch you sleep.
Tip 184. why
Tip 185. Because.
Tip 186. Back to our regularly scheduled plogrm.
Tip 187. Birds are government drones.
Tip 188. Crazy?
Tip 189. The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
The rats.
Tip 190. Everything is fine ;)
Tip 191. My grandpa fell down the stairs.
Tip 192. Janondorf.
Tip 193. Gannon jammed his thumb on the first day of tryouts. What a loser, I can't imagine being Gannon Michael Corkery.
Tip 194. lfjb r3yvkugfcvlfrybilh4rv fh4ilf
Tip 195. Sorry, Drake was trying to take me out of the equation.
Tip 196. Don't piss in the wind.
Tip 197. Ive gout skibidi toilt riz (kill me, please).
Tip 198. Dread is all I feel now.
Tip 199. The Scott pilgrim anime was good. 5/5
Tip 200. Thank you all and happy 200 days!
Tip 201. Do you think bone marrow is stored in the vocal cords?
Tip 202. Try the new seasonal flavors in the school store.
Tip 203. Parrots are found in the rain forest.
Tip 204. Bowser from the Mario movie was a 101/10.
Tip 205. Pobre Billy Pilgrim.
Tip 206. = 80.5 x 2
Tip 207. Doktor, turn off my cringe inhibitors.
Tip 208. This site would give a caveman a brain bleed.
Tip 209. The U.S. government hates poor people.
Tip 210. Give us Titanfall 3.
Tip 211. Shout out to my boy Alexander.
Tip 212. I would slaughter Devin for pickle chips.
Tip 213. "Education is not the lighting of a fire, but the drowning of a puppy," Sun Tzu
Tip 214. If you do nothing, no one can do it better than you.
Tip 215. Should've been Alan Wake 2.
Tip 216. Greek mythology was weird.
Tip 217. Screw the Metamorphosis.
Tip 218. I'm losing myself every day.
Tip 219. Do not drink the water.
Tip 220. Jesse's friend code is 1070223060 on steam. Do not add Joe Rogan.
Tip 221. Sorry that my booming inside voice sounds like yelling to you Mrs. Verdugo.
Tip 222. many tips.
Tip 223. Wonder how many rules this website breaks on the https://docs.google.com/document/d/12y55SySjw4ISA8C_r12nhNN1olfZzQ_x4LHIO7vPKvE
Tip 224. Wow, I can't believe you actually took the time to try and figure this out. Do you feel better about yourself? Huh?
Tip 225. Please end these three days of suffering.
Tip 226. GIVE ME MESA PRIME NEUROS PLEASE.
Tip 227. FREEDOM.
Tip 228. What in the actual fuck am I going to fill this space up with.
Tip 229. Who do you think is on Epstein's flight list? Bet now!
Tip 230. SHOW ME THE CHAMPION OF LIGHT!
Tip 231. AND ILL SHOW YOU THE HERALD OF DARKNESS!
Tip 232. CHRISTMAS! GIFTS! COOKIES! MASS CONSUMERISM!
Tip 233. The Finals had potential, but it was no match for the sweats.
Tip 234. Rainbow Six Siege makes me want to wrap my drone (car) around a Mute jammer (tree) high off of Finka's nanobots (Alcohol and drugs).
Tip 235. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TYLER.
Tip 236. What happened to the joy of days off? Is it the fact that everyday missed is more and more work piled onto me?
Tip 237. Do NOT take a vacation to Bright Falls. The worst mistake of my life. -Alan Wake 1/5⭐
Tip 238. Write yourself a treaty to force yourself to do things (By Cruz).
Tip 239. Do you see the shadow people?
Tip 240. What am I doing with my life
Tip 241. Dread.
Tip 242. Fuck it, we ball.
Tip 243. Not gonna lie, wasn't that bad.
Tip 244. YIPPEE.
Tip 245. You're too late Spider-man, WEED HAS BEEN LEGALIZED!
Tip 246. There could be a risk of rain at 2 (Wink wink).
Tip 247. I could just end this site at any moment.
Tip 248. ALAN WAKE IN DEAD BY DAYLIGHT?!
Tip 249. Hell let loose has given me PTSD.
Tip 250. Halfway to 500 "tips".
Tip 251. My girl gives the best head, call her sloppenheimer.
Tip 252. Verbalase dropped 50k FOR THAT!?!? THEY DIDN'T EVEN DO ANYTHING!
Tip 253. Turns out I'm pretty cracked at siege.
Tip 254. I don't even know If I'm ready.
Tip 255. So not only is this a short week, we also only have 2 full days? HALLELUJAH
Tip 256. MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED
Tip 257. God hath forsaken us.
Tip 258. I want the Caveira elite to punch me in the balls (by Andrew).
Tip 259. Why did the moron throw his clock out the window? Because it reminded him of Arnold clock, the man who was convicted of knife raping his wife.
Tip 260. Donate us money please.
Tip 261. I can't decide if I want to shrug this off to some 6th grader named David when I graduate, or send this to Scott when I graduate.
Tip 262. GIVE ME BARUUK PRIME NEUROS PLEASE.
Tip 263. Why would I waste my time doing 55 difficult honors chem questions for FIVE EXTRA CREDIT POINTS?!
Tip 264. Layne is my evil counterpart. My antithesis.
Tip 265. This is going to suck, but it's time to lock in.
Tip 266. Finally got my railjack.
Tip 267. I'm scared, Dutch.
Tip 268. I will do this.
Tip 269. I really want to give up, but I can't. I need to succeed for you, loyal readers.
Tip 270. I did it...
Tip 271. Sorry for punching that deaf guy. I thought he was going to activate his domain.
Tip 272. I think we should make the Saturday show.
Tip 273. Layne is a bastard and a liar.
Tip 274. New semester, new hardships. But I have to do this.... for you 🫵.
Tip 275. For Honor really tanks my self esteem.
Tip 276. Armored core is really fun. 4.7/5 so far.
Tip 277. INCREDIBLIS
Tip 278. King Charles has cancer and the Irish love it.
Tip 279. 4 day break next weekend.
Tip 280. I enjoy Pal-world. It is in fact better than scarlet and violet.
Tip 281. I feel so.....out of it today. Like I'm here, but not here at the same time. I think I've lost my mojo.
Tip 282. Palworld: Colonizer simulator
Tip 283. Happy valentines day. Time to hug mother nature very fast and hard while in a motorized vehicle.
Tip 284. Finally some snow.
Tip 285. Should I change tip 279 to make it seem like I'm a time traveler?
Tip 286. I think I'm good at siege.
Tip 287. Apex legends is just sweatier Titanfall 2.
Tip 288. This break was refreshing. Back to the trenches I go.
Tip 289. New Dbd killer looks terrifying.
Tip 290. Today is a day of all time.
Tip 291. Just have to make it to Friday.
Tip 292. Why are people optimistic all the time?
Tip 293. Check for red.
Tip 294. The predator kills Goku black with Raphael's sais while teamed up with two Fortnite chimeras in order to get the dub!?!?!
Tip 295. Do we play another match because we lost? Or did we lose because we played another match?
Tip 296. A Utopia is impossible. Why are we doing this?
Tip 297. Elden Beast is an Elden bitch. (P.S I beat Elden ring)
Tip 298. Me and my best friend, post-nerf mimic tear, dogged on Malenia too.
Tip 299. Is it ethical to "let it crust"?
Tip 300. Thank you all. I never would've thought I could make it this far, yet here we are. It has been hard, but I am proud of all of us.
Tip 301. Who's ready for a new era of bad tips?
Tip 302. Bleach and rubbing alcohol makes chloroform. Do with this what you must.
Tip 303. Physical torture is an ineffective way of getting information, as most victims will tell you anything to stop the pain.
Tip 304. Be like Andrew Tate and abduct women.
Tip 305. Microwave and/or make Anthrax. Be sure to give it to school children.
Tip 306. Prison is worth it.
Tip 307. Cyanide can have an aroma of "bitter almonds".
Tip 308. Bush used 9/11 as an excuse to attack the middle east for oil.
Tip 309. If a student dies while taking a college exam, all other students pass the exam.
Tip 310. "Are you selling your body for cheeseburgers, John?", Arthur asked calmly. "A man's gotta eat." John replied.
Tip 311. Push people off cliffs. They bounce.
Tip 312. Ubisoft is great one thing: making games that make me want to kill myself.
Tip 313. The Tolo fit boutta go hard.
Tip 314. It did, in fact, go hard.
Tip 315. Jerma is Linus tech tips in his final form.
Tip 316. Siege would be a lot more fun if I didn't play with lobotomites.
Tip 317. Sex in Fallout: New Vegas !?!?! (NOT CLICKBAIT) (REAL)
Tip 318. ROV time
Tip 319. I've lost my siege magic.
Tip 320. Nvm it's back.
Tip 321. Fallout: New Vegas is fun. I can steal, murder, and eat people all across the Mojave.
Tip 322. Fortnite is fucking boring.
Tip 323. Just have to last this week. Then it's spring break.
Tip 324. Gotta speedrun RDR2 before I meet Arthur Morgan himself.
Tip 325. 4 A.M. is, statistically, the time when people are least ready to defend themselves.
Tip 326. Degenerates, like you readers, belong on a cross.
Tip 327. 4 hours of school. Then....freedom.
Tip 328. Gooning, edging, mewing, Jelquing. The four cringe elements lived in peace until the edging nation attacked.
Tip 329. I really liked meeting Roger Clark and Daisuke Tsuji. Thank you both! (even though they will never read this)
Tip 330. Follow me at @davids_daily_tips on Instagram for similar posts.
Tip 331. I need neck from Layne Lindsay. Maybe even some head.
Tip 332. I enjoy watching iceberg boy.
Tip 333. Portland was fun. The university looks nice too. Might go if they have majors I want.
Tip 334. Enjoyed my time in Seattle with my friends. I even got to blow out the candles on a candelabra.
Tip 335. Second to last day.
Tip 336. Happy Birthday to me! Next year it's literally the first day of spring break. My suffering will never end.
Tip 337. Solar eclipse today. Next one is in 2044.
Tip 338. I HATE OVERWATCH RANKED
Tip 339. The second destiny pushes me out, they pull me back IN.
Tip 340. THE SILVER CAMPAIGN! THE SILVER CAMPAIGN IS REEEEAAAL!
Tip 341. O.J. Simpson died. I'm sooooooooo sad.
Tip 342. I'm proud of you.
Tip 343. studios makes alright halo games.
Tip 344. Here's an actual tip: eat 10-12 almonds if you have a headache.
Tip 345. I NEED a goth GF.
Tip 346. 5 pages of pieces charts? Try 23.
Tip 347. The Debilitated Destiny Ensemble grows larger.
Tip 348. Ferbday. I don't know. I'm all tapped for funny juice.
Tip 349. When I say TF3, what comes to mind first?
Tip 350. Three player tic-tac-toe on a 4x4 board is my favorite way to play.
Tip 351. I don't like Taylor Swift.
Tip 352. Happy Earth Day.
Tip 353. No more gambit! YIPPEE
Tip 354. I don't know what I believe.
Tip 355. I hope Helldivers 2 comes to xbox.
Tip 356. I am the funniest human being imaginable.
Tip 357. I love driving. (illegally)
Tip 358. ABOUT A WEEK AGO (WEEK AGO)
Tip 359. Tweaking or Locked in?
Tip 360. I love blowing things up. (IRL)
Tip 361. I'm a rootin' tootin' gunslinger in destiny.
Tip 362. Scored really well on my accuplacer.
Tip 363. Tweaking.
Tip 364. So...much...COD.
Tip 365. I don't even know where to begin... Thank you to everyone who has ever written a tip, laughed at a tip, or seen my tip. To another year!
Tip 366. Even...more...COD.
Tip 367. Throat hurts.
Tip 368. Sorry for the hiatus.
Tip 369. Each tip is like a coke line for your brain.
Tip 370. I'm pushing P like the cool kids.
Tip 371. I, David, heir to the throne of Delaware, decree that this site is based.
Tip 372. Based? On what?
Tip 373. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
Tip 374. I'm cooked.
Tip 375. I AM A BLOOKET GOD.
Tip 376. Think I did well on my AP test.
Tip 377. Happy and terrified that I finally get to see Schindler's list.
Tip 378. Yay pep assembly. I'm sooooo happy.
Tip 379. I, Autismo the Great, declare myself the KING of fortnite Fnaf.
Tip 380. Don't study for your finals ( reverse psychology).
Tip 381. Gotta get studious.
Tip 382. I'm an idiot.
Tip 383. Shout out to Layla for that amazing speech.
Tip 384. Connections is stupid. The categories will be like: birds, names for trees, words for bananas in ancient civilizations, and what my wife calls me in bed.
Tip 385. All work and no play makes David a dull boy.
Tip 386. That was a terrible tip.
Tip 387. Do people still name their kids bob?
Tip 388. Did I make this website because I think I'm funny? Or do I think I'm funny because I made this website?
Tip 389. Paladins is alright.
Tip 390. Finally finished me accuplacer.
Tip 400. My dumbass missed some days, so happy 400!
Tip 401. Aren't parents technically pedophiles? They love children and groom them.
Tip 402. HAAAANK! DON'T ABBREVIATE CYBERPUNK HANK!
Tip 403. I LOVE KIDS CHARLIE! I LOVE KIDS!
Tip 404. I love pepperoni, pineapple, and jalapenos on my pizza.
Tip 405. THE FINAL SHAPE! THE FINAL SHAPE IS REEEAAAALLL!
Tip 406. This week feels soooooo long.
Tip 407. Sometimes, a tip is all you need.
Tip 408. Wipe the toilet seat then sit down.
Tip 409. Flow like water, Don't push.
Tip 410. Never break someones heart they only have one, break their bones instead they have 206.
Tip 411. Last tip is funny because I actually fractured my ankle on Sunday.
Tip 412. Fuck crutches. I'm getting bruises because of this shit.
Tip 413. Can't wait for the soy sauce foot job, Layne Lindsay (tw//Sarcasm).
Tip 414. [Insert funny joke about broken bones]
Tip 415. So good news... My ankle wasn't broken! Though I did have an extremely bad sprain.
Tip 416. Yay! Happy Dead by Daylight anniversary!
Tip 417. Inside out 2 was better than expected.
Tip 418. Remember to feel up yourself and your bros for testicular cancer.
Tip 419. LET ME OUT!
Tip 420. Haha funny weed number. Happy last day of school.
Tip 421. why are we still here? Just to suffer?
Tip 422. It comes out today.
Tip 423. I am John Space-marine. CRUSH THE XENO SCUM FOR THE EMPEROR!
Tip 424. Ahh.. a break.
Tip 425. Who plays Walter White in the hit tv show Breaking Bad?
Tip 426. I woke up at 8 a.m. today, enjoyed a nice warm shower, had a breakfast of waffles and sausage, and then showed up here. I hate this place.
Tip 427. I guilt therefore I gear.
Tip 428. I'm out of funny juice for this week.
Tip 429. THE IMMIGRANTS ARE EATING CATS
Tip 430. Space marine needs some tweaks, but I have faith in it and the Emperor.
Tip 431. How do you try to kill him again AND MISS AGAIN!?! I'm just saying I wouldn't have missed.
Tip 432. Bye bye Owen for the foreseeable future.
Tip 433. $200 FOR A DAMN TEXTBOOK. Now I understand why student loan debts can be so high.
Tip 434. I don't
Tip 435. Know what
Tip 436. to right.
Tip 437. Damn assemblies. Making me late and shit. Not even fucking funny.
Tip 438. Layne is going to be a space marine 2.
Tip 439. I'm terrified.
Tip 440. First day of college and I'm so fucking nervous. All these people around me have like jobs and stuff. I'm pretty sure they pay taxes too.
Tip 441. I'm going to rip all of your skin off and turn it into a blanket.
Tip 442. I'm about to cooooooooooom.
Tip 443. Why is this education class so much more anal about writing than my damn english class.
Tip 444. Can't wait for beaked helmets to come to space marine 2.
Tip 445. Welcome back Owen.
Tip 446. INTO THE FIRES OF BATTLE, UNTO THE ANVILS OF WAR
Tip 447. Me on a monday be like this entire website.
Tip 448. "Infinity Incarnate" is kind of a baller nickname.
Tip 449. I uhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Tip 450. I am Guilty gear.
Tip 451. Do the kids still say Pushin' P?
Tip 452. Johnny was somehow both the best and worst part of House of Leaves.
Tip 453. Advanced Photography is boring and stupid and I hate it so much. -Owen
Tip 454. Phantom Liberty is cool so that's one of two good parts of my day lately. -Owen
Tip 455. 7+2=9
Tip 456. "Don't do drugs, except for weed"- (someone probably, maybe, possibly, perhaps, hopefully, may hap, perchance, peradventure, conceivably, god willing, feasibly, in all probability, in all likelihood, as likely as not, likely, as like as not, ten to one, no doubt, doubtless, all things considered, all things considered, all things being equal, it may be, presumably, on the face of it, apparently, prob, probs, like enough, belike, happen, haply, percase, practicably, reasonably).
Tip 457. Life comes with it's Ups and Downs.
Tip 458. If you're lost in a maze make sure to Find Your One Way out.
Tip 459. I have a lots of Extras backed up.
Tip 460. In the argument of doors vs. wheels, does The Circle count as a wheel?
Tip 461. If you are ever feeling stressed, Just Lean.
Tip 462. The Disaster of Passion has driven many people to go crazy or fall in love even more with what they are doing.
Tip 463. When checking a hunting trap, make sure the Smell of the Game is nice and fresh.
Tip 464. Humans' personalities can be a Mirror of the World around them.
Tip 465. I've always wanted to learn how to Drift my car, but I should learn how to drive better before that.
Tip 466. Those who know.
Tip 467. Thank you for having me over, Layne.
Tip 468. Who's up stroking their dandy rn?
Tip 469. Haha funny number (kill me please).
Tip 470. If you are fighting an enemy that can heal itself, focus on attacking the healthcare system. Just like Ronald Reagan.
Tip 471. I HATE THIS I BELIEVE ESSAYS
Tip 472. Would you rather have this tip be blank or say "Kiriko feet"? Please answer here.
Tip 473. I like my slop awful
Tip 474. 6v6 is coming back. Yippee
Tip 475. TEDDY ROOSEVELT IN THE NEW EPIC RAP BATTLE OF HISTORY!?!?
Tip 476. Thank you for having me over, Owen.
Tip 477. Happy birthday Owen, you are now older than me. There will be consequences. Also, CHROMAKOPIA dropped. It's good.
Tip 478. What if Kermit was betrayed and locked in the time chamber for 10,000 years?
Tip 479. Happy Halloween don't say oob backwards .
Tip 480. Drop it like it's hot, drop it like it's hot.
Tip 481. My dreams aren't good enough for my EDUC& 202 teacher.
Tip 482. Are you crip or blood or crood?
Tip 483. A Harder school = more work at the same easy level.
Tip 484. Election day tomorrow. Nothing happens OR everything gets way worse.
Tip 485. We complete each other, like a hard on during grandma's eulogy.
Tip 486. No words can describe how scared I am for my future.
Tip 487. Best Space Marine 2 player here, please get better drip I'm begging you.
Tip 488. Q: How does one acquire the Elon Musk build?
Tip 489. A: Money and slaves I mean "workers".
Tip 490. Batman look I'm creasing my J's.
Tip 491. Call me Rock Lee the way my Lee be Rock.
Tip 492. Haha puddle.
Tip 493. I'm jorbalin my penar.
Tip 494. Where is that Layne guy.
Tip 495. As a reddit gold user, I have supreme authority over you plebeians.
Tip 496. What's arcane even about (Im never watching the show).
Tip 497. Today was awful.
Tip 498. 1v1 me in a Phreak off.
Tip 499. I can wait to play Magic at the Gathering.
Tip 500. In about 230 tips, we will have 2 years worth of tips. Thanks for 500.
Tip 501. 2 month old baby and their mother shot dead by police. Police officers involved get admin leave. Things will only get worse from here.
Tip 502. Hazard is... a tank of all time
Tip 503. It is not that hard to make/pick a good outfit in video games. HOW CAN YOU SPEND THREE HOURS ON AN OUTFIT ONLY FOR IT TO LOOK LIKE ASS.
Tip 504. At least we have Wednesday off.
Tip 505. At least we have Wednesday off.
Tip 506. At least we have tomorrow off.
Tip 507. Happy thanksgiving and I'm TOTALLY thankful for all of that land we stole from indigenous tribes. Fuck you colonizers.
Tip 508. Sorry I blacked out after thanksgiving; let's see what's happened in the world. A CEO was shot dead and the suspect was "caught" in a MacDonalds, SOTE made it to the game awards, the snack wrap is back, the Dark Angels pack dropped, Red One was bad... and I think that's everything.
Tip 509. So they finally "caught" *cough* planted evidence on *cough* the shooter huh? Well Luigi was at my house the time of the shooting so he couldn't possibly have done it.
Tip 510. TF is Balatro. Is it just poker, but a rogue-like? Wow so original.
Tip 511. We should kill more CEOs, except for the Costco and Arizona tea CEOs.
Tip 512. 1 CEO dies and it makes it on national tv. A woman and her 2 month old are shot dead by cops and no one bats an eye. Humanity will get what is coming to it.
Tip 513. Where is god when you need him?
Tip 514. My bizkit be limp call that ED.
Tip 515. Please don't thirst over Luigi. That's just weird.
Tip 516. Why won't Layne play Space marine or Guilty gear with us? Is he stupid? (RIP that guy).
Tip 517. Where is YHWH when you need him?
Tip 518. We need to GET Elon Musk next. Like deadass.
Tip 519. Space marine update, why does everything need to be tramp stamped by the dark angels.
Tip 520. Best Moon Knight player here.
Tip 521. All of my finals are finally done (nudge nudge).
Tip 522. I'm not happy that Astrobot one, but at least it wasn't Balatro. Also new Elden ring spinoff and the witcher 4.
Tip 523. Whom am I?
Tip 524. I can't put down the cup, I can't put down the cup; sippin on promethazine.
Tip 525. Winter break is nigh.
Tip 526. There is a changed tip between 490 and 480. Good luck.
Tip 527. Please answer Tip 472.
Tip 528. You'd be the perfect porn director.
Tip 529. Winter break is here. I'll try to send a postcard from New York.
Tip 530. Skibidi toilet rizz!!!!! -Owen (I apologize immensely).
Tip 531. My green is where it's supposed to be, your green is in your groceries.
Tip 532. Toooooooooooooooooooo biiiig toooo faaaaaaaaaiiiiiillll. Toooooooooooooooooooo biiiig tooo.
Tip 533. I'm going to kill elon musk -Owen Alan Kardonsky
Tip 534. How many chins could a chopped chin chop if a chopped chin could chop chins? Think about it...
Tip 535. I'VE PLAYED THESE GAMES BEFORE
Tip 536. No one gives a Shatner about your skinny jeans, do you even know what URL means?
Tip 537. I hope this doesn't cause a fallout between us... a fallout: new vegas.
Tip 538. I am the man formerly known as David.
Tip 539. Don't eat the brown stuff in the weird white room sinks (it tastes bad).
Tip 540. I just bought a property in Egypt, and the thing they do, is they give you the property.
Tip 541. WATCH ARCANE WATCH ARCANE WATCH ARCANE WATCH ARCANE (don't play LoL).
Tip 542. I should get an AI to write the rest of this website.
Tip 543. Eleanore is such a bitch. I don't care that you have such a "sad" and "dark" backstory, have a normal conversation. "likes to talk about the past..." my ass. I have better conversations with the actual misanthrope than her.
Tip 544. Gay people don't kill, they slay.
Tip 545. 8=============D
Tip 546. Something, something, Post-Traumatic Swag Disorder.
Tip 547. How do journalists sleep at night? Some of the photos they take are fucked up.
Tip 548. WORDS MISSPELLED IN NU METAL BAND NAMES? I LOST BECAUSE OF THAT? BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK THAT BISCUIT AND LINCOLN GO TOGETHER AS IN LIMP BIZKIT AND LINKIN PARK?
Tip 549. Warframe: 1999 got my lonely ass smiling and shit. FUCK
Tip 550. How many common house moths do I have to eat to gain their powers.
Tip 551. How do you make a house out of leaves? Is he stupid?
Tip 552. O.J. Simpson did something....
Tip 553. When will you stop reading? Tip 800? 900? 1000? I hope I live to see that glorious tip 1000.
Tip 554. Why is everyone having a worse day than me?
Tip 555. What am I exceptional at?
Tip 556. I'm done with Arial.
Tip 557. "School kills creativity", Coldest take ever.
Tip 558. I love DOOM. Now to decipher whether I'm talking about the game, the doctor, or the Mother Fucker.
Tip 559. I have been trying to write this tip for 10 minutes. I'm losing my touch.
Tip 560. What do I want to do when I grow up? Be an undervalued part of society working for dirt paychecks or a loner sitting behind a desk.
Tip 561. Does the tyranid hive mind sound like a normal guy? Like just some random guy straight off the street guiding a world eating, unstoppable force of angry bugs.
Tip 562. I think Six and Bad Luck have a great sisterly bond. I love Clandestine.
Tip 563. Will either of us ever find love, not in just being apart of this symbiotic relationship, but elsewhere? Or are we doomed to just be the reader and writer for all of time? locked in the struggle of writing tips and reading them, until our bodies wither, and we are nothing more than fertilizer for the ground? I hope not.
Tip 564. Infinite beer (or beverage of your choice) hack: Drink it in the shower, and when you need a fill up just put it under the shower head and watch it fill back up again.
Tip 565. Every time you order a big mac, take off one ingredient. At the end of the week you get a free big mac.
Tip 566. I hope I can become a mage in the future.
Tip 567. Why is there an e in awesome. It makes no sense. I hate the English language.
Tip 568. Imma start a new series titled "Things to Think About". I hope you enjoy.
Tip 569. I sometimes ponder how I will die. Old age? Disease? Accident? "Accident"? Or will I live forever? Things to Think About.
Tip 570. What is worst, being an outcast or being just "average". Things to Think About.
Tip 571. If this website gets big enough, you could have known me back in Elementary school. This is statistically unlikely though, since I am neither funny nor Handsome nor rich, and therefore will probably never get famous. Things to Think About.
Tip 572. Every force has an equal and opposite reaction, right? So what is the equal and opposite reaction to me shitting in a urinal? Things to Think About.
Tip 573. hah i got one
Tip 574. Our bodies could exercise a lot longer if they didn't sweat and just kept the water in our bodies like the cooling system in a PC. Rip out your old cables.
Tip 575. If I threaten to hang myself in math class, is the teacher forced to let me pass the class.
Tip 576. Batman, Fortnite.
Tip 577. If I end up in some sort of concentration camp in the future, make this my Anne Frank Diary.
Tip 578. You, me, Blackrock tower. Grab your iron. Time to party like it's 2023.
Tip 579. "I only pledge my allegiance to Ultrakill feet."
-Tristen Thomas-Lee Simon
Tip 580. Did I ever tell you about the time my buddy Keith tried to deep fry a turkey? Third-degree burns over ninety percent of his body! I tell ya, there were complaints from the next town over about the smell of burnt skin.
Tip 581. Getting gamepass again feels amazing, but not as amazing as watching Elon Musk get shot killed.
Tip 582. I am not allowed to legally own a firearm because I shot a man thinking he was an alien.
Tip 583. Do you stroke it overhand, underhand, or double fisted?
Tip 584. I rate this website 3 penis coladas out of 32 Toyota Siennas.
Tip 585. Gotta say, it's fantastic...
Tip 586. When she outlasts my trials.
Tip 587. Find my pages.
Tip 588. Fortnitem and yes.
Tip 589. Meal idea: 1 chicken nugget divided into fourths with half a sliced carrot served over rice. -Owem
Tip 590. Milady, 'tis the clobbering hour.
Tip 591. Quinnith Paltrow, owner of koop.
Tip 592. Fuck you, Ronald Reagan. And you too, tricky dick.
Tip 593. I see these really old black and white photos, and it makes me wonder how racist the people inside were.
Tip 593. I am of a rare breed. I enjoy Minecraft, but not minors. I am one in a krillion.
Tip 594. May your L's be many,
And your bitches few,
Machine of steel and blood.
Tip 595. Only losers call it the gulf of america.
Tip 596. I will never forgive M&M's for un-sexying the green M&M.
Tip 597. In a zombie apocalypse, straight up jorkin' it. and by it I mean my HELP PLEASE NO IM BEING EATEN SEND HELP PLEAseyyyyysshbvwihhbvhbehhfb
Tip 598. Ts pmo fn rn yn icl stg
Tip 599. Oooooooooooooooooh
Tip 600. Happy 600! Here's to 600 more!
Tip 601. "You need two say pwease and tank you, mr. zewensky" - J.D. "Baby Face" Vance
Tip 602. To me, it's just a movie.
Tip 603. We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich, We're rich.
Tip 604. While you were over there chewing on cigarettes like candy, I studied the bud.
Tip 605. Is Owen a DEI hire for this website?
Tip 606. Call me the knuckle blaster, the way I
Tip 607. Why does everything have to be so expensive?
Tip 608. For me, it's cereal, then milk, and then the bowl.
Tip 609. Wish me luck.
Tip 610. If I'm lucky, maybe they will turn me into a servo-skull when I die.
Tip 611. I NEED to see Mickey 17.
Tip 612. Sorry for such a long hiatus.
Tip 613. What if the next prime sanctum features Hakita Prime?
Tip 614. How's about this for a Trade? I beat you into a bloody pulp and you give me my tip back.
Tip 615. Why does my computer sound like it's going to explode whenever I turn it on?
Tip 616. Kind of want to try speed running a game one day.
Tip 617. It doesn't end until the fish jumps.
Tip 618. How did all these squares make a circle?
Tip 619. It's fine, it's fine, it doesn't bother me, it doesn't bother me, it bothers me, it bothers me a lot. AND THAT ONE'S STILL GREEN!
Tip 620. två, tre.
Tip 621. Whenever I put my Jew-rag on, it's like Ash Ketchum putting his hat on backwards.
Tip 622. David's Daily Tips, Brought to you by HETAP.
Tip 623. Enough is enough, enough is enough, Enough is enough is enough is enough, Enough is enough, enough is enough, Enough is enough is enough is enough, that's enough
Tip 624. "I am steve", "Flinonsteal", "they love crushin loaf", "water bucket...RELEASE", and "the nether"
Tip 625. Awwww crapbaskets.
Tip 626. It's like Owen said... I am the hope of the Omniverse! I am the light-bulb in the darkness! I am the bacon in the fridge for all living things that cry out in hunger! I am the Alpha and the Omeega! I am the terror that quacks in the night! I am David's Daily Tips!
Tip 627. "Son of a gum-chewing funk monster! Why the fruit does all this funny stuff happen to me?! Forget my life! Always surrounded by miserable failing clods! Like this whole world, just likes to bend me over, and find me in the alps!! Like I'm some sort of schlock receptacle! Well as far as I care, these miserable cows can have a fancy barbecue, with a goddamn pig!!"
Tip 628. Fine then, cats to this, I'm going back to sleep. Wake me when you figure this shit out.
Tip 629. "I was right. You think you're better than everyone else, but there you stand: the good man doing nothing. And while evil triumphs, and your rigid pacifism crumbles into blood-stained dust, the only victory afforded to you is that you stuck true to your guns. You were a coward...to your last whimper. Of fear and love, I fear not that I will die, but that all I have come to love: the birds, and the things that are not birds, will perish with me. So please....stop holding back. And hey, if we do make it out of this, please pick up my head and BEAT YOUR FATHER TO DEATH WITH IT!"
Tip 630. It's dinner time.
Tip 631. Are you thwarting my plans?
Tip 632. Who May Cry? (please go to either Tip 638 or 642 for the answer)
Tip 633. Grow up and show up.
Tip 634. Fix your servers, Fatshark.
Tip 635. Happy Birthday to me.
Tip 636. AC: shadows isn't that bad so far.
Tip 637. I have broken my For Honor limiter. Also fuck warmonger and gladiator and gryphon and valkyrie and guard and every japanese hero and JJ and zhanhu and tiandi and afeera.
Tip 638. Devils May cry.
Tip 639. My life has been one long gank.
Tip 640. Also known as ten Minecraft stacks.
Tip 641. Aw shit, I think you left the weed whacker on.
Tip 642. I May Cry.
Tip 643. A doctor a day keeps the apples away (the fruit).
Tip 644. New big, stupid bug to kill.
Tip 645. Is that a honey badger?
Tip 646. Total clanker death.
Tip 647. Hello newcomers.
Tip 648. Two, three. (For a Swedish translation, please go to Tip 620).
Tip 649. Happy Easter. Hope the Beaster bunny gave you many sweets.
Tip 650. Beat DMC 1, but at the cost of the pope. I was just too damn good at that game.
Tip 651. "I have no idea what to write"- David, every day of his life.
Tip 652. I will crush the knife ears.
Tip 653. I think For Honor would be so much better if the knight faction was the only faction.
Tip 654. Foolishness, reader......foolishness.
Tip 655. These tips are deemed necessary and proper by me: the heir to the state of Delaware.
Tip 656. I am a real human.
Tip 657. I wanna be a youtuber back in 2009. I want to be what's hot before the introduction of vine.
Tip 658. I'm tired at being on the shit end of the stick when it comes to useless AI integrations. From here on out, David's Daily Tips will be 100% AI.
Tip 659. Why do it today when you can dramatically panic about it tomorrow?
Tip 660. Try the "Two-Minute Rule."
Tip 661. Rename Your Wi-Fi to “Tell My Homework I Miss It”.
Tip 662. Guess AI can't replicate the true genius of David's Daily Tips.
Tip 663. Oblivion remastered is pretty good.
Tip 664. If you know your enemy and you know yourself, you need not fear the result of 100 battles.
Tip 665. Whatever you do, don't reveal all your techniques in a YouTube video, you fool, you moron.
Tip 666. Still David and NOT the eldritch lord Yog-Sothoth.
Tip 667. All men can see the tactics whereby I conquer, but what none can see is the strategy out of which victory is evolved.
Tip 668. Never put off until tomorrow what can be done today. - Sensei Wu
Tip 669. Did you catch the new Clankas in Pajamas album? Their best work so far, in my opinion.
Tip 670. This party's getting crazy!
Tip 671. Force this, force that, why don't your force some bitches on your d-......oh no.
Tip 672. I am dying.
Tip 673. RIP AND TEAR
Tip 674. 2V8, 2V8, 2V8!
Tip 675. What does it mean to "be mature"? What's an example of someone who's mature? The definition of mature is someone or something that is done physically growing, but that's just physically. So by definition, to "be mature" is to have the body of an adult. It doesn't matter what your mental development is. As long as you have the body of an adult, you fit in their vague and unattainable standards. Things to Think About.
Tip 676. Hills and valleys of enjoyment make up every human's life. Sometimes there are tall hills and shallow valleys. Sometimes its the opposite. Sometimes it's all big hills and deep valleys, and sometimes it's small hills and shallow valleys. Things to Think about.
Tip 677. The difference in my life at Tip 426 and my life know is funny. It's always entertaining to see what you took for granted be some of the better times in your life. Things to Think About.
Tip 678. What makes Sundays the worst days of the week is the knowledge that you have to wake up tomorrow. That you have to continue your job, or school, or whatever thing you dislike, but have to do to survive. Things to Think About.
Tip 679. Technically, every bad and good thing to happen in your life is your fault. Every missed bus, every nice date, every bad experience, and every good experience. You have no one but yourself to blame. Things to Think about.
Tip 680. BREAKING NEWS: it's so joever.
Tip 681. Today was a good day
Tip 682. Keyword: was
Tip 683. Seize the day.
Tip 684. You thought this was going to be blank forever, didn't you?
Tip 685. So, what do you want to do,
what’s your point of view?
There’s a party, screw it, do you wanna go?
A handshake with you, what’s your point of view?
I’m on top of you, I don’t wanna go
‘Cause I really wanna stay at your house
And I hope it all works out
But you know how much you broke me apart
I’m done with you, I’m ignoring you
I don’t wanna know
Tip 686. Can't wait for the 3rd child killer in DBD.
Tip 687. I don't know why it's called a goofy movie, to me it's just a movie. And there's no way it can get extremely goofy- OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH!
Tip 688. Horde, sorry, "siege" mode in June.
Tip 689. I want to watch purple. We should watch purple together.
Tip 690. We ALL love Persona 3: Reload
Tip 691. Welcome back.
Tip 692. Wish I could stay in bed up until the class is about to start.
Tip 693. Some people don't deserve the life they have been given. Rest in peace Jonathan Joss.
Tip 694. Where does the joke end and the person begin, at this point.
Tip 695. When you fall of a horse, you get right back up, and you eat that horse! Come eat that horse with me!
Tip 696. I need an adult.
Tip 697. Can it just end already.
Tip 698. Lonely is a man without love.
Tip 699. Would you rather be so unique you're an outsider anywhere or so average and "normal" that you don't exist.
Tip 700. TIP MOTHERFUCKING 700 BABY!!! LET'S GOOOO! WOOOOOOH YEAH BABY! THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR, THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT! WOOOOOOOOOOOOH! Cheers? Cheers?
Tip 701. 600 more dalmatians.
Tip 702. We're in the endgame now. Let's give it our all next week. Goodnight, and good luck.
Tip 703. I NEED GEOGRAPHY CYPHER
Tip 704. No more kings, No more tyrants.
Tip 705. Chat, am I screwed?
Tip 706. Maybe, maybe. Let's get in the car and see where it takes us.
Tip 707. Sorry for such a late tip. Thanks for this school year; and a cheers to all the future tips to come!
Tip 708. It's so over.
Tip 709. It's pronounced ˈho͝otspə.
Tip 710. My life for super Earth.
Tip 711. I've learned you can just win a gun in a raffle. And you can just buy ammo from a gun store. I wonder why school shootings happen? Must be the leftist woke agenda.
Tip 712. Not all robots are clankers, but all clankers are robots.
Tip 713. Tomorrow is another day.
Tip 714. Yes Luka Doncic, I do play like you.
Tip 715. I wonder which religion is right? And would a Baptist Christian be let in, but a Catholic wouldn't?
Tip 716. He died.
Tip 717. Release the Epstein files.
Tip 718. Owen has never had a slurpee.
Tip 719. Year of chaos, they said.
Tip 720. Beat DMC 3 yesterday, I wonder what major religious/political figure is going to die now.
Tip 721. Can a white boy speak a little spanglish?
Tip 722. SHAW
Tip 723. The slab and his pocket healer.
Tip 724. It took me two weeks to reach enlightenment.
Tip 725. I'm Diamond 5.
Tip 726. But if I had a job
Tip 727. Time for college. AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Tip 728. I am finished with my pilgrimage through all the GOOD DMC games. It's been a blast. Now to play them next year on a harder difficulty.
Tip 729. Guys the rapture is REALLY coming, oh. my. god, I think I feel it now, oooh baby.
Tip 730. 2 years of tips. I can't believe me and the others who have helped me write tips have kept it going for so long. Thank you all. Now to decide the future of this website.
Tip 731. I think we'll get to like 860 tips by the end of this school year. Now to just pick an heir.
Tip 731. So far list of words the to-be cop doesn't know: Their, tranquility, pitiful, municipal. This tip is to be updated as time goes on.
Tip 732. PIMP DOWN! PIMP DOWN! PIMP IN DISTRESS!
Tip 733. Hope I can see Blue and Orange in theaters. Black was super good; so I'm very excited to see where the director takes his next two films.
Tip 734. TSGR, TSGR, TSGR
Tip 735. Sorry for such a long hiatus, choom. Ran into some corpo ICE that tried to zero me. Still managed to klep the data and delta. Pretty nova if you ask me.
Tip 736. A very used excel spreadsheet is like minesweeper for accountants.
Tip 737. Whenever you fall from a great height, remember to double jump or back dash before hitting the ground to negate fall damage.
Tip 738. RIP my boy David. He really did make it to the top of arasaka tower.
Tip 739. Keep your head down and your chin up.
Tip 740. If we are in a group setting, and I say a joke, then you respond with a better joke: I'm sending you to hell.
Tip 741. Slayer Tip: You can combo (Dandy Step K) bump ahead into (Dandy Step P) pilebunker with a c.S (or I just got lucky and my opponent was stupid and not blocking).
Tip 742. What do you mean a 2016 Nissan Murano at MSRP is $33,060.00?
Tip 743. Happy birthday Layne.
Tip 744. Should I shave my head? Things to think about.
Tip 745. Used car oil is not a good way to put out a fire. Neither is a whole can of ax body spray, but at least now we know.
Tip 746. You're looking at a Gold three GGST player. Ladies, ladies, please wait in line for an autograph.
Tip 747. Hope this tip doesn't crash and burn like the rest.
Tip 748. They always crash and burn like the rest
Tip 749. David word of the day: Bluntsmökken
Tip 750. Nice argument; however c.S, 5HS, Dandy Step P.
Tip 751. Here at the South Harmon Institute of Technology, we try to give as much control to the students. We believe that everybody should be able to pursue the career they want. Pro surfboarder? We'll help. Neuroscientist? We will get you that job. Anybody can be whoever they want to be, at South Harmon.
Tip 752. I LOVE MARVEL VS. CAPCOM 3: FATE OF TWO WORLDS. I LOVE MARVEL VS. CAPCOM 3: FATE OF TWO WORLDS. I LOVE MARVEL VS. CAPCOM 3: FATE OF TWO WORLDS. I LOVE MARVEL VS. CAPCOM 3: FATE OF TWO WORLDS. I LOVE MARVEL VS. CAPCOM 3: FATE OF TWO WORLDS.
Tip 753. What do we want? NO MORE KINGS!
Tip 754. Can a white boy speak a little Mandarin?
Tip 755. Can drive now, will commit crimes.
Tip 756. One more day.
Tip 757. Wish me luck on my stat test tomorrow.
Tip 758. Great party. 4 Jarritos out of 32 Kanji grabs
Tip 759. I feel like I've seen more rain in Portland than Seattle.
Tip 760. The genus, Aphrodita, was named after the Greek goddess Aphrodite. And that is the extent of that fact. Do not look up more about that.
Tip 761. "My Only Move Is Elizabeth 5D." -Sun Tzu, 500 BC
Tip 762. Why aren't you laughing? WHY ISN'T THIS WORKING! Is there something I'm missing? Must more blood be shed?
Tip 763. Happy birthday Owen, cheers! (and to many more!)
Tip 764. In a war of ego, the loser always wins.
Tip 765. 43210 more tips.
Tip 766. Happy Hallows Eve!
Tip 767. The most useful bowl is an empty one.
Tip 768. Pig blood is very hard to get out.
Tip 769. The first amendment is kinda maybe a little teensy bit important.
Tip 770. I want Theodore Roosevelt to crush my head between his mustache.
Tip 771. When I'm fighting a guy or somebody with guy bits, it's nuts or nothin'.
Tip 772. EVERYONE'S AFTER MY DAILY TIPS HEART! WHAT ABOUT MY HEART, HUH? WHAT ABOUT DAVID'S HEART?!?
Tip 773. Writing tips and making you laugh; it's like killin' one bird with another bird.
Tip 774. Who is this "Scott Free" I've heard so much about and why do people keep getting him off?
Tip 775. Are you a booger eater or a bile beater?
Tip 776. FUCK Makima. All my homies hate Makima. If Makima has no haters; then I'm dead.
Tip 777. YOU JUST [won] THE [jackpot] ! CONGRATS ON FINDING THE [lucky] [tip] ! GOOD JOB, [hotshot] !
Tip 778. SPECIAL WEEK SWEEEEEEP!! WTF IS A LOSS!!!!! RAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!
Tip 779. FEAST MODE ACTIVATED, # HUNGRY, FEED-ME-MORE.COM
Tip 780. Heavy is the quarter-pounder that holds the cheese.
Tip 781. Fuck, Marry, Kill: Chance the Rapper, Chief Keef, and Marinara sauce.
Tip 782. 3 EDGY 5 U
Tip 783. And we're the Cleveland Browns!
Tip 784. There is a very strong correlation between ice cream sales and homicide rates. As more ice cream is sold, the homicide rate goes up. I'm serious. Look it up.
Tip 785. I need a room full of mirrors so I can be surrounded by winners.
Tip 786. I mean, fuck Jadeite, man.
Tip 787. If I wanted a dick measuring contest I'd whip out a ruler AND THEN WIN. Now put the silver crystal in the bag.
Tip 788. Would you rather talk like Jar-jar Binks or look like Jar-jar Binks? You are NOT allowed to kill yourself.
Tip 789. Dropped my sandwich today.... must've been the work of The Dark Reunion.
Tip 790. HOLY CAT A TALKING CRAP
Tip 791. Time to make America Grodd again.
Tip 792. Sorry I'm late, my regular cleaner got shut down for laundering.
Tip 793. Pilgrim Humor: May Flower? I hardly know her!
Tip 794. Happy Thanksgiving! Time to eat leftovers for the next thirteen years, 6 months, 12 days, 10 hours, 36 minutes, and 58 seconds.
Tip 795. Whenever you receive mild criticism, remember the three C's:
Call them crazy
Cry
Cgun
Tip 796. I have not used ChatGPT for homework because, as of yet, nobody has held a shotgun to my head.
Tip 797. The dildo of consequence rarely arrives lubed.
Tip 798. Credit Cards: You can't owe what you don't plan on paying back.
Tip 799. A fool's fools fools who foolishly accept the foolishness of a fool's fool.
Tip 800. Wow, you read THIS far? Congrats, now I'm going to die in front of you, like some sort of teacher/sensei figure, and YOU are going to get a kick-ass powerup from it.
Tip 801. You know what they say, "Providin' is pre... something."
Tip 802. Laugh all you want. Someday, my subconscious will be on a chip and your subconscious will be dead.
Tip 803. There is no war on Christmas.
Tip 804. My residence is a tomb for federal agents.
Tip 805. Mods, reveal it was all a dream and that everyone is still a child with potential.
Tip 806. If I ever go full schizo, I hope I'm one of the laughy ones and not one of the screamy ones.
Tip 807. Remember kids, eccentricity can get you far in life, but dwarf owning can get you even farther.
Tip 808. I've got eight slugs in me. One's lead, and the rest are bourbon. The drink packs a wallop, and I pack a revolver.
Tip 809. "Death is not the end, for anything that has ever lived remains a part of a great cycle of regeneration". -Andrew Moe, 25/25/25
Tip 810. Give a man a fish, feed him for a day...Give a man a fish and a half, feed him for a day and a half...Give a man two fish, feed him for two days...Give a man two and a half fish, feed him for two and a half days...Give a man three fish, feed him for three days...Give a man three and a half fish, feed him for three and a half days... Give a man four fish, feed him for four... Give a man 100 fish, and he gets scombroid and perishes.
Tip 811. Happy Hanukkah! Fuck Israel and the IDF!
Tip 812. My three wishes from a genie are to double gravity, remove friction, and replace all saltwater with freshwater and vice versa.
Tip 813. Ehhh it's like mom always said, call 811 before ya dig and 911 if dad ever comes back.
Tip 814. The heart wants what it wants.... MORE STIMULANTS.
Tip 815. Cargo pants? No, car go vroom.
Tip 816. Fastest way to a man's heart is through his third and fourth rib.
Tip 817. Welcome back, one and allocaust.
Tip 818. Sorry for the 20 tips being added in a single day. Anyways, I'm making tea; do you want some liver disaster or constant comment?
Tip 819. I can't wait to become a billionaire so I can buy a neighborhood, dissolve the HOA, and make people sell their homes at the amount they bought it at.
Tip 820. Santa puts naughty kids into triangle chokes.
Tip 821. Always getting fat stacks, call that star bucks.
Tip 822. I can't deny the rich allegations anymore.
Tip 823. Merry Christmas and good will to most!
Tip 824. The moment man devoured the fruit of knowledge, he sealed his fate.... Entrusting his future to the cards, man clings to a dim hope. Yet, arcana is the means by which all is revealed. Beyond the beaten path lies the absolute end. It matters not who you are, death awaits you.
Tip 825. Would you like some toilet wine? I call mine sang-arrhea.
Tip 826. Honestly, if you're going to have a dick-fighting competition with a woman, you must have been born with the world's CRUELEST handicap. Which I'm sure benefits the 9-year old boy you have chained up in your private Vatican jet.
Tip 827. Sometimes to be balling, you have to B-all-in, G.
Tip 828. "A mason jar isn't always full of masons." -Andrew Moe
Tip 829. A friend-ship is a sacred floater, a kemo-thera-sabe Putin bond twixt two 'n's, like cookies 'n' beans, franks 'n' creams, friends. I've never supped from the meat cup of having even one chum, but my crony-less-ness is about to die of loneliness-ness, for today is the day I make my first real friend.
Tip 830. I've been playing chess while you've been playing chess like an idiot.
Tip 831. I asked for no tips and they gave me the mc-fucking-Tipper pounder with a slice of David and a squirt of Daily.
Tip 832. BITCHES LOVE CANNONS
Tip 833. Shido? More like Shit-o, am I right lads or am I right lads?
Tip 834. Moooom, Phineas and Ferb are forming edifice and Oedipus complexes! (kickass electric guitar)
Tip 835. You've never been kind to the one
person who really matters:
Pete Howard, 2443 E. Lincoln St.
Lodi, California 95332
Tip 836. On a serious note, where the actual FUCK do cranes come from? Like, I've never seen one being built or taken down. So do construction workers just summon them? are they the result of some holy or unholy pact? I must know.
Tip 837. PLUH!!🗣️ 🗣️ (throwback)
Tip 838. "Death is the end for all of us, but not all of us are dead." -David W. Ibrahim, 2026
Tip 839. FREEEEEESSIIAAAA
Tip 840. Let's say you jump the fence of the white house, how far do you think you could make it before they gun you down.
Tip 841. This website is just qualityslop. You only like it cause it's good.
Tip 842. Next time one of your superiors uses the words mumbo jumbo in a jocular fashion, remember to report them to HR for promoting African wife beating.
Tip 843. "It takes two wipes to realize you needed only one, and one wipe to realize you need a thousand more." -Confucius
Tip 844. I bring a sort of steal from the rich, give to myself vibe to the function that I'm not sure everyone fucks with.
Tip 845. You should listen to Throbbing Gristle's third album "20 Jazzfunk Greats". And if you liked that, listen to their first album "The Second Annual Report".
Tip 846. "The naked man fears no pickpocket". -Thomas Jefferson
Tip 847. Thank you MLK, even though you cheated on your wife.
Tip 848. Binder? I didn't know you were...
Tip 849. Yamaka? I didn't know you were...
Tip 850. I swear to god, if season 2 of CSM comes out and Fujimoto says something like, "Why did the author kill ___?", I'm going to doxx him.
Tip 851. Banger? I hardly know...... I hardly know myself.
Tip 852. I wish we were mice gorging ourselves on cheese.
Tip 853. That's it. I quit. This just ain't my thing.... To hell with writing tips. 's time for my animal crackers... and hands off the penguin! It's mine!
Tip 854. ...and so halfway through reading my tips, the fucking hooker OD's on heroin! I mean, I still read the rest aloud to her, but what kind of shit is that?
Tip 855. Newton's first law: A white boy in motion stays in motion.
Tip 856. Hey Frankie, gimme a pizza with extra cheese, and vanquish the evil of the world, and fill it with love and kindness.
Tip 857. Hey Jimmy, gimme the indomitable human spirit!
Tip 858. "Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse."- Sun Tzu, 2003
Tip 859. I like my ice like I like my ice, melted and in a mug.
Tip 860. Out with the old... and in with the Blue.
Tip 861. You wouldn't down a load.
Tip 862. By the Omnissiah's steel ball bearings... HALF PRICE DUCK LO-MEIN!
Tip 863. The joy of a low price is always shorter than the pleasure of high quality.
Tip 864. "Punxsutawney Phil isn't a normal groundhog, since 1886 the Groundhog Club's Inner Circle have been possessing young groundhogs with Phil's spirit. Every time he predicts spring something awful happens. He isn't predicting it he's causing it. They're onto me and if you're reading this they'll be onto you too. Sleep with one eye open." -Andrew Moe
Tip 865. More like David's Faily Tips, am I right ladies or am I right ladies?
Tip 866. "Nerf Vendetta" -Martin Luther King Jr.
Tip 867. He was a guest so remarkable that the last arcana you have taken hold of is "The World."
Tip 868. But Doctor Jesus, the Masturbator in room 323 is experiencing cardiac arrest!
Tip 869. yay seahawks
Tip 870. WARNING I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING! there's not a single thing that (you) can do to please me so Don't even try!
Tip 871. FRAUD TOMORROW
Tip 872. Zohran, you have to stop. Your policies too tough. Your swag too hard. Your wife too bad. They'll kill you, Zohran Mamdani.
Tip 873. Andrew's word of the day: Zogslop- Like goyslop, but more extreme.
Tip 874. Don't forget the hyphen between "Spider" and "man".
Tip 875. Maybe the ducks on the Jeep dashboard are the friends we made along the way.
Tip 876. You are 36 games of blackjack away from being a billionaire.
Tip 877. Delightful Mario! Round & jubilant in nature!
Tip 878. Poulsbo is just Scandinavian Whoville.
Tip 879. Imma go ahead and say it, I'm glad Mr. Peanut is Dead! I'M GLAD! I'M HAPPY!
Tip 880. I think it's time for all of us to go in the forever box.
Tip 881. I hate it when people say women make sense. I think they should be making dollars! ☝️Eff the wage gap!
Tip 882. Israel is secretly controlled by the Jews.
Tip 883. WE LOVE WORMS, WE LOVE WORMS, WE LOVE WORMS, WE LOVE WORMS, WE LOVE WORMS, WE LOVE WORMS, WE LOVE WORMS, WE LOVE WORMS
Tip 884. We listen and we judge.
Tip 885. I'm a white guy, and I'm ready to kill.
Tip 886. FRAUD TODAY
Tip 887. Smiling friends ending is like 9/11 for everybody.
Tip 888. You be profen?
Tip 889. Let's say you jump the fence to the Missouri cheese mines, how far do you think you make it before you get gunned down.
Tip 890. This is OUR city, this is OUR time.
Tip 891. "What the horse considers play, the monkey considers business. I consider both foolery." - Tom
Tip 892. My 9/11 was when those planes crashed into those towers.
Tip 893. My snake is naked and solid.
Tip 391. I missed 10 tips in the past, so imma just put them here.
Tip 894. "You can close your eyes. I'll always remain here by your side."- March 5th, 2010
Tip 392. Key to a long life: exotic women, boring cheese.
Tip 895. Take 15 Adderall and jerk off until you die.
Tip 393. JFK shot first.
Tip 896. Statistically, most masturbators are caught within the first 48 hours.
Tip 394. Why don't ya go do something with your life instead of reading these tips, brick for brains?
Tip 897. Born too early for a war in the sandbox, Born too late for a war in the sandbox, Born just in time for a war in the sandbox.
Tip 395. Do NOT invest in doge coin.
Tip 898. Time to make the donuts...
Tip 396. The only callouts I know and the only ones you need, are peek long and save awp.
Tip 899. "Hello everyone, Dennis Prager here. God has told me that the age of consent is too high."
Tip 397. The human mind is an evolutionary maladaptation.
Tip 900. Thank you for reading, please continue reading, and to those that want me to stop: step off, bitch.
Tip 398. Babies sure stare a lot for people who don't know how to fight.
Tip 901. You can't run forever, Tom hanks.
Tip 399. So no bread? *breaks skateboard*
Tip 902. Don't eat snow or snowflakes, they contain harmful microplastics.
Tip 903. I haven't become a communist because I've heard that the bourgeois have really high crit rates.
Tip 904. If it smells like pizza, tastes like sushi, and looks like a gun: you probably shouldn't gnaw on it.
Tip 905. Did you know that miso soup is an aphrodisiac?
Tip 906. There are no rats in Alberta.
Tip 907. Human brains aren't built for the modern day. We should be threshing wheat and dying of smallpox.
Tip 908. It feels good to succumb.
Tip 909. Eating a poptart is faster than reloading.
Tip 910. THESE THREE FIGHTERS HAVE AWAKENED 120% OF THEIR POTENTIAL.
Tip 911. Make sure to lift and carry your team using your legs: not your back.
Tip 912. Never trust an Anglo-Saxon.
Tip 913. If you're going to fight, fight like you're the third monkey on the ramp to Noah's ark. And brother, it's starting to rain.
Tip 914. Never invade Russia in winter.
Tip 915. The ops are zoophiles, but I'm the one dog they can't top.
Tip 916. The bells of the Gion monastery in India echo with the warning that all things are impermanent. The blossoms of the Sala trees teach us through their hues that what flourishes must fade. However! You and I are the exception!
Tip 917. Septum Ring Theory: the theory that republican men dislike women with septum rings because, typically, you are required to be 18 years of age to acquire one.
Tip 918. C4? There's only three.
Tip 919. Elvis? I don't speak Spanish.
Tip 920. I'm dipping stix ya never heard of into crazy sauce you can't comprehend.
Tip 921. Get a load from this guy 😎.
Tip 922. Life is mysterious, be short and vague.
Tip 923. *Life is short, be vague and mysterious.
Tip 924. Birth, in Iowa, is rubbing two Carhartt hoodies together and then blowing a vape cloud in the middle. Then, a baby pops out.
Tip 925. prison for second-rate shaboingery.
Tip 926. Cool ranch? What is that? Like, a chill farm?
Tip 927. Clearly, you should own an air fryer.
Tip 928. I am an adult.
Tip 929. These classes done fucked me up for life. I forget who I am on a near second league basis and create a new mirror personality that's a refraction of the last one and I'm drifting further and further from my original self.
Tip 930. Go take a bio-break, man. There're no more restrooms for like 4 hours and I do NOT want to have to exit and turnaround because you're a big kid who can hold it in.
Tip 931. Hear me out, hear me out..... pizza. movie.
Tip 932. Let's use every last drop...
Tip 933. Just this once.
Tip 934. Small Chinese boys FLOCK to my website.
Tip 935. Come away, O humble reader!
To be my succeeder
follow me, hand in hand,
For the world's more full of weeping than you can understand.
Tip 936. I like the taste of iron.
Tip 937. Quantum physics WASN'T LYING: THAT Particle CAN Exist upon observation.
Tip 938. Silver for monsters, steel for humans
Tip 939. Don't blame a goopa for goopin'.
Tip 940. Feet are fine, feathers are where it's at though.
Tip 941. FOR TICKLING
Tip 942. I'm done arguin' in 2026, if we disagree I'm just killing you.
Tip 943. Did you know Tame Impala is just one guy?
Tip 944. "Happiness is a lawn sprinkler". - Eleanore, 1999
Tip 945. Don't look for tips at the soup store.
Tip 946. Be careful at book fairs. David may be watching 👀.
Tip 947. No Country too sovereign for Old Men.
Tip 948. 7 minutes... 7 minutes is all I had to write this tip.
Tip 949. Still hate the metamorphosis.
Tip 950. Do not go to itch.io and search "The Cost of Coin" and do NOT download and play it. Please (please) do not.
Tip 951. We (YES WE) are cogs.
Tip 952. So this website is a cog's passion?
Tip 953. Necessity kills creativity.
Tip 954. sometimes, when all you got is a hammer, everything looks like a func_brush.
Tip 955. "Maybe my life is worth living here!" - David after one DQ blizzard on a sunny day.
Tip 956. High explosive makes for cooler video evidence in the military tribunal hearing.
Tip 957. It come wit eggroll.
Tip 958. Yeah I've got a porn addiction... porn myself a big bowl of cereal.
Tip 959. Are you ready to get your brain cow milked?
Tip 960. Re-establishing the soviet union will bring back disco.
Tip 961. In the land of fear, only the man who swallows hammers is truly free.
Tip 962. I wish my parents gave me some nepo- with this tism.
Tip 963. Hooplah!
Tip 964. In the battle of love, the one who confesses first is conquered.
Tip 965. 500 hours of mind pumping tips.
Tip 966. You should look a man in the eye when you're beating his cheat.
Tip 967. The is just like Gorbino's Quest. This is the Gorbino's quest of life.
Tip 968. "You were a good goy, Maxwell. Too bad you were such a shit chud." - Abridged^2 Alexander Anderson
Tip 969. The last 69 of the school year... that actually is... pretty funny...
Tip 970. North is whatever way I'm facing.
Tip 971. [hiiiiii David!!! :3] [Here to change something else?] [Not with big brother watching] [👀] [David I love your website.] [Thank you.] [Use the David Button®©™ ] [How?] [preview button in top right] [The button doesn't seem to work for me and the button isn't on the published website.] [The little computer button next to undo and redo in the top right called preview.] [I feel dumb, in hindsight.] [Oh wow the images]
Tip 972. In the world of words, ya either get with the flow or ya take a second slow. Think about that one.
Tip 973. IM FIGHTING THE FUCKING SHADOW PEOPLE IN THE 7-11 PARKING LOT. IM THE ONE THEY WROTE THE PATRIOT ACT ABOUT. IM UNDER FEDERAL INVESTIGATION FOR CRIMES OF SCHEDULE ONE SWAG. DONT FUCK WITH ME, MAN. I OWN SEVEN SHELL COMPANIES THAT SELL GAS STATION DICK PILLS.
Tip 974. If gas is gonna be 6 bucks, I want some head too.
Tip 975. I met Charlie Kirk. She's black.
Tip 976. Sometimes, I like to put a traffic cone on my head and pretend I'm a toothpick.
Tip 977. Silence, Warhammer 40,000 fan, a person who has never read a Black Library novel is talking.
Tip 978. Sometimes, it not be like it do, but it is.
Tip 979. Themes and such.
Tip 980. 420BlazeIt, as they say.
Tip 981. Jacking off drunk is like an underwater Mario level.
Tip 982. Facts my sibling! Speak your truth indubitably!
Tip 983. According to the quarterly report, DD"T" has made 20 quarters.
Tip 984. I play Super Mario as practice for when I eventually snap.
Tip 985. Fortnite is not my cup of shield.
Tip 986. I would skull-fuck a klondike bar for a dog.
Tip 987. It's just the way we're wired.
Tip 988. My David has tips, my tips are daily, uuuuuhhhhhh... KNICKS IN FOOOOOOUUUUUURRRRRR!
Tip 989. You ever heard of the Midnight Channel?
Tip 990. Last day of high-school.
Tip 991. If I don't get podium I beat it.
Tip 992. I'm Jewish when it benefits me.
Tip 993. Is it wiser to fight with a needle or hide it in a haystack? - Rove
Tip 994. Poetry is bullshit
Tip 995. I AM A FUCKING ARCHITECT.
Tip 996. STAY IN CHARACTER. STAY IN CHARACTER.
Tip 997. "Did you cum?" Yeah, to my senses. -NotKyrelltos
Tip 998. I squirm, I struggle, Ergo I am. - Rove
Tip 999. Oh?
Tip 1000. Let's cut it a bit short and stop early, it feels climactic enough, and ending on a tip other than tip 1000 feels weird. We did it. I did it. 1000 "tips". I don't know what to say. You'd think the 1000th tip would be more... dramatic. But, I'm not a white-haired older brother with a katana. So the best you're gonna get is my shocked disbelief that I didn't quit earlier. This past year of tips is probably my best work. I guess I should say our, since this wouldn't have been possible without my friends/unpaid idea generators. Thanks for the tips suckers. Anyways, thank you for reading this far and don't worry: it's not over yet...
Thank You
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